Happy New Year!

Looking forward to reading up on all your new adventures. Loved the photo's too, your gray singlet was gorgeous.

Have a great day xx oo

Thought I would post my eats for today ...

1.5 bunches of bananas blended with 2 large stalks of celery.

1 bag of baby greens, 6 large peaches.

1 XXL mango blended with a bag of baby greens poured over a small head of finely chopped cauliflower and three roma tomatoes quartered. Hmmm this was yummy!

I went for an hour long walk and did some push ups and 8 minutes worth of sit ups.

I felt really lousy today after last nights heart ache. I would like to get a vision board going. There are some changes that I would like to make and I think having the vision board will help.

Sleep well everyone!

Happy New Year my raw buddies!

It is going to be a corker of year for all of us - a tingling in my fingers and toes tells me so. Hehe.
Last night was a rough one I tell you. I got mucked around by my 'friends' and ... I got my heart stood on (AKA DUMPED) No contact, no explanation, it all just sort of twigged. Let's not go into that eh.
I ended up going to this party with my mum. Her friend is a little on the abrasive side and after he had checked me up and down, given me his 'sensational' approval  - told everyone that I used to have anorexia. I just stood there blushing and trying to smile.
Some of the treats laid out on the table looked tempting until I noticed a very large woman shoving pieces into her mouth, burping and farting out loud, her skin was so dry and all the guests kept over heating even though it was a mild evening. Everything turned out ok, I did my best to talk to everyone and took care of a scared puppy. I took a huge bowl of yummy salad along to keep my tummy happy. I had already carbed up on a watermelon a lunch so I was all set.
I started a new challenge yesterday. 101 days of body love. I went to the RAW FU site and they run challenges, I think it is a good way to have a bit of accountability.

My goals:
No binge eating
No vomiting
No starving
No cheating on myself
No eating in secret - honesty
Doing exercise I enjoy
Eat foods I love and love me back
Reaching out when I need to
Looking after me
Keep things simple
One day at a time - every second counts when you have an eating disorder
Gratitude and love
Monitoring my progress

I am scared but very excited at the same time - for me it seems like an eternity but I know how fast the 40 day challenge went and I am sure once the ball is rolling this will be the same.
Thank you to everyone who gave me their support and love during 2008 - you have helped me so much. Looking forward to the best 2009 ever. xx oo

I have been hunting around for a good pesto recipe that does not need oil in it or too many nuts or seeds.
Your ideas or suggestions would be appreciated!

I MADE IT !! 

40 days of health ... this is a real achievement for me in regards to my eating disorder.
I cannot believe that I have actually set a goal, gone for it and won. This is the best possible gift that I could and have ever given myself.
I am so proud of myself for doing this. A few months ago I could not comprehend the idea of being binge/throwing up free. I thought it was impossible - that I would cave and I would surely suffer the same sad death as many a bulimic before me. The contrast is like day and night - the darkness I have experienced makes today even more rewarding. This is truly the best day of my life so far - I am alive (in all respects)
I am so grateful to the universe for sparing me and giving me opportunity after opportunity even when I pushed them away.
Thank you for my healing and for this journey. I have a long road to travel but I know now that I really CAN DO IT!

I am sorry to hear that you had to witness such disgusting behaviour. I had an experience the other day too. A lady came into the store with her children and she was telling me that her husband abuses her. She cooks him dinner every night - if he does not like what she has made he spits it back into her face and says 'that tastes like s*** make me something else!'
I asked her why she stays and she just pointed to her three young children. Mind you the children were just as nasty to her - hanging off her, hitting her and demanding donuts. I find it equally infuriating when I see women being rude or abusive to their male partners. I witness this a lot more than I see men abusing women. Women often scream at their husbands and humiliate them in front of me - for the smallest of things. One man forgot a birthday card or bought the wrong thing by accident. I dislike the phrases 'treating women' or 'treating men'. Regardless of gender, what it all boils down to is respect and value for human life - we are all here for a reason. I think some people forget that sometimes.

'Frog in a sock'

Love it ... Gonna use that one for sure!

*Plants a big smooch on your cheek* Have a wonderful weekend xx oo

Hugs* Neet and Meta

The lasering went well, apparently I should come out of it well because I am very fair skinned. The scar is getting darker. They said it will continue to do so for around ten days then dissipate from there on. I have to go back in January for the next round. The nurse said to me during the treatment 'Can I ask you a very personal question?' 
'Are those your real ....'
I'm like 'Yeaaah'. She later said 'OMG, I get mine done all the time and I can't get them to look like that - they're amazing'.
Awww schucks! hehe

Just had a huge meal of watermelon - scrumptious! I have learnt to eat watermelon slowly to avoid the abdominal agony that follows a big melon meal. Otherwise it is just ouchies all the way.
I have been doing lots of crunches and butt exercises over the past few months to add a bit of definition in these areas. Finally I am starting to see results - decent toning along the obliques. I would like to build up the V section - does anyone know a good way to do this? I am also seeing a little more 'junk in my trunk' ...I think every girl needs a little something to shake
Whenever I get the opportunity I use the stairs or walk the escalator, a few extra toning exercises always helps.
I got Dr Doug's new book yesterday. I hope that I can take on board a lot of the info and increase my fitness and enjoyment of sports more.
I have another audition this morning for a horror/slasher flick. COOOL!

It is a beautiful morning, the sun is shining and th birds are literally singing.
There is something comforting about having a Christmas tree up - despite it being obviously fake. I really miss the overloaded, sweet smelling pine that my dad used to buy every year from the grocery store. There was always way too much tinsel, various crafts my sister and I had made, a hodge podge of old decorations and coloured lights. I guess the tree is insignificant but it is the memory of the family and Christmas I lost that stings. I wish I could have one more day where I would wake up as things used to be. At least on that one day I would truly savor the moments. I am grateful for what I have now, the new opportunities and gifts I have been given.
I have much to do I just need to keep working at it. Sometimes I wish I had someone to take care of me. To give me the hug and let me rest for a moment. I seem to be always looking after everyone else and being relied on. My mother thanks me for being strong and because I don't show much people seem to think I have it all sorted out. Well most days I feel totally the opposite. I look at the negative situations as affirmations that I can survive anything - then when the fear arises I remind myself again - then the fear subsides.
In a nutshell: This time of year makes me a little sad
My father is trying to bully me into doing what he wants and my mum - if left alone will be spending Christmas alone with my demanding, cruel grandmother. I wish I could run away from the lot of them and find another family to camp on. I don't know what to do - between work, study and family.

Still going strong ... 

Had a nightmare of a week so far. You know those days when everything seems to be going wrong. I feel like pressing the pause button, taking a big breath and pressing play again.

On Monday, this lady is whistling after me in the supermarket - like I am a dog or something. I gave this look of utter exasperation and continued doing what I was doing. I thought .. when you treat me like a human being then you can have my attention.

I got up early this morning and went down to the beach. It was really nice just to walk and not think of anything but the early morning chill against my skin.

I got a bit burnt on Sunday - even though I was pretty careful. Having family die from skin cancers and melanoma I have always been aware of sun dangers. The back of my neck is a bit sore and reddish.

I am nervous about this afternoon - I have a large scar on my chest which I am getting lasered off.

Have a wonderful day y'all xx oo

I second that. '80/10/10' literally saved my life. Once you have read it you will be all set. Try his recipe book too - some really yummy simple recipes to keep you interested. Durian riders blog is a good one too. Raw aussie athlete is a pro also. Both terrific guys.

Good luck.

Funky outfit

Loving the hair and the boots. HOT!

Ohh man!

Where oh where can I find a good durian in Sydney?

Good morning
Thankyou ladies - you are too kind.
Had a full on weekend. Saturday I worked then I went to a seventies themed Christmas party. I got asked some questions by a very snooty man who could just not comprehend the idea of life without animal products. I didn't even go into the whole raw thing as I thought he would surely explode with info overload. He soon forgot about witty one liners and I went off dancing with some tipsy baby boomers. My mother was really ticking me off at one point - grabbing sticks of sea food extender wrapped in frankfurt wrapped in bacon, stuffing them in her mouth and then opening up so everyone could see the food rolling around and then exclaiming orgasmically that ' I can't live without meat'.
Yesterday went on a 4 hour mountain bike/hike and found the most magical secluded beach. I have never seen water of that colour before. I waded into a waist high stream fully clothed and was pushed down a sand dune. I will post pictures. They don't do it justice but will give you an idea. Surprisingly I am not sore this morning though down stairs *wink wink is so sore from smashing against the bike seat.

Wishing everyone a relaxing Monday.. Mwah xx

Here's the pictures (I hope) ... they are pretty rough but hey, it's what you get with a camera phone eh!
The one with the long hair is my mum in a wig - she is testing out an outfit for this weekend's 70's Christmas party. Hubba hubba.