Hi motherwytch,

Welcome! 

Right off the bat I will say that I suspect I am not going to be able to offer any assistance in a practical sense.  I have only myself to worry about, and so can be as kooky, impractical and diverse as I desire in my dietary choices.

Nonetheless, I offer you total support in your transitioning phase, whilst carrying out one of (in my humble opinion) THE most important jobs on the planet - that of a parent.

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to wish to eat raw, and at the same time put cooked food on the table for a family.

You say you have 'eaten cooked crap today'.  Doesn't matter.  It's gone now, in a puff of smoke.  Phew.  Do not stress yourself unnecessarily, and beat yourself up.  I know it's hard, especially when you have physical symptoms (lethargy, emotional turmoil).  How beautiful it is, that in the next moment we can all start anew, and choose raw, choose vigour and vitality.

You say that for your up and coming birthday you have asked for gc's from your store (I assume these are credits - there could be a cultural divide here, or I'm thick  ) for your nut butter etc.

It's just a thought - but would asking for a blender instead be of use?  You seem to miss your blender so much, and your smoothies.  If you had smoothies back in your life, you could whizz up some wonderfully filling drinks that would satisfy you and your boys too.  Have you tried green smoothies?  These have the most unbelievable grounding and calming effect.  This might be just the thing to soothe you as you corral those kiddies! 

Perhaps the oldest two boys could help with the fruit and veg selection at the store?  Each could be set a task to select x no. of carrots/apples etc.  You could explain what qualities they need to look for etc.  I have seen children in my local fruit & veg shop that seem to relish helping select things - makes them feel that they are helping, and a bit 'grown up'.  Off they trot to get 'four big carrots' for mum....

In amongst grocery shopping (with 4 kids in tow), cleaning, mothering, being a wife etc. etc. do you ever have any 'me' time?  I suspect very little, if at all. 

Do you have a friend/neighbour/relative that might be able to look after some of the children at any time?  Then, perhaps when the baby is napping you could just sit and breathe, or read a trashy magazine, or run your toes through some grass, or sit in the sun.  That, of itself, would be amazing in retoring energy and buoying your spirits.

I know how hard it is to maintain a path that is not mainstream when there is little support near.  Thankfully, due to the magic of the web, we can at least gain 'virtual' support when needed.

There are many generous, learned people on this forum who will be able to provide you with more practical suggestions than I can.  Some perhaps have had similar experiences.  I am in awe of parents, but do not have the necessary experience to be able to give any useful tips on how to manage all that you must on a daily basis.

But I can give you a virtual hug.... here it comes.... (((((((motherwytch)))))), and send lots of love and support.

Remember to be gentle on yourself.  Oh, and be sure to keep posting, and let us know how you are going.

miss g

Welcome Motherwytch

thanks for the welcome Carrotgurrl
thanks for the inspiry R'g'N
i would appreciate you not reading the black- not because i don't want you to know what it says but because it is so negative!
i am being tested today...
hubby has no idea how much he spends on any given day and so i try to order my lovely raw cashew butter and tahini and my order is declined! i check our account and it's over $200 in the red!!!! that means, instead of buying my nut butters and a food processor with my b-day $$, i get to pay off the debt in our account... i feel ill, i'm so *ed off! :angry: :angry: :angry: it is simply unfair. this is my b-day money that i should be able to spend on silly things, not food for myself and i can't even spend it on that! we're supposed to be trying to buy a house... yet it is completely and totally my fault that we cannot afford something in a nice area that will fit our family. i am totally ranting and i'd appreciate it if no one would read this venom as i don't want you all affected by it... my life has been ridiculous from the start! all i ask of the fates is some sort of fairness... i've paid my freaking dues. i wake up every day and love the newness of it. inevitably, something or someone attacks my optimism and i start praying for an escape.
all right. enough of this angst/complaining/bs/unhappiness/negativity/loathing. back to the topic that concerns my LIV/FE...
yesterday, that afternoon snack consisted of 16oz of carrot juice (it had thawed just enough and tasted like liquidy orangey honey and was simply decadent!) and a chunk of manna. supper consisted of 4 kale leaves (lacinato) stuffed with a mixture of diced yellow squash, sliced kalamatas, tahini and onion/pepper relish (more than likely not "raw" unfortunately...) very good kale is superior as a raw green! much better than cooked... last night was my 1st time having raw kale. it has always tended to go bad in the fridge because i always either forgot it was in there or never got around to boiling it (my boys eat it boiled with potatoes...) dessert was my fave caramel apples. fam had some kid-friendly split-pea soup w/carrots and potatoes mixed in w/vegan apple pie for dessert after their post-supper fruit (we always have a piece of fruit after supper- law in our home!)
on to today- breakfast was 16oz oj and a banana (they weren't ripe when we got them so i bagged them and they are *perfect* now) the snack i just had (remembering that it came after my anger and possibly because of it as well!) consisted of the heel of cinnamon date manna and a slice of the same manna topped w/raw almond butter, raisins, & cacao nibs. and that was an "angry" snack usually i'm gorging and hating myself after an angry session... i am very content with what i ate. i just realized that... a slight epiphany for me. now there are tears in my eyes... i feel almost as if my anger and all that goes with it is a sickness- a complete mental disease- and that, instead of welcoming it and feeding it with cooked and who-knows-what-else foods and letting it grow, i have told it, "there's no room for you here, right now" and have, instead, planted seeds for a healthier mentality. simply by eating a snack! okay, this calm is a bit eerie for me. i am uncomfortable without my clouds... guess i'll have to get used to feeling GOOD
shall i have italian (zucchini/yellow squash noodles with a chunky, herb-laden tomato & onion sauce) or asian (same noodles with broccoli and a spicy almond butter sauce) for lunch?this is 1 of my fave parts about my being me- creativity... it is just as delicious to put things together to make a healthy, aesthetically pleasing dish as it is to eat it! i'll have to wait until this wee one is done with his meal... hopefully, i'll be able to put him down for a bit and get some things done before i need to pee & feed him again (((((cross fingers)))))
thank you for letting me rant and come out of it in 1 peace
i love you all my dear new friends!!!

Hi Motherwytch,

I'm sending you the very best and happiest birthday wishes to you right this very minute.  A sad birthday will just not do, you deserve better than this!  You sound like you need a good/positive break in life, it'll come when you least expect it.

Now make sure you at least are good to you on your special day, is there something special that you can do for yourself, maybe a little bit of self pampering tonight with a candle lit bubble bath while hubby takes care of the kids.

Wishing you a Happy Birthday,
Blue Nelly

Happy Birthday Motherwytch! We are all thinking of you!

And what a beautiful dinner you made yourself - YUMMY!

Sometimes when we change it can feel a little uncomfortable or scary to leave behind old patterns. They can become like our comfort blankets that children have, to be pulled out when we are stressed (I know this well). In choosing healthier options though you are stepping into a brighter future full of marvelous moments, and I'm sure your dream house too. Keep up the great efforts and please post regularly. We'd love to support you!

Cheers,
Sheryl