Raw Food Forums

Wasn't quite sure where to post this one (feel free to move it Sheryl/Piers if it is inappropriately placed!). Just needed to share some thoughts. As many of you who were here a year ago will know, I birthed a stillborn baby girl (Phoebe) on June 16th last year. She is with me always, and she taught me more than anyone else could ever have the capacity to. I love that she felt that I was ready for such a massive lesson, and I love that of all the people that she could have shared her short time on earth with, she chose our family. The whole pregnancy, death and birth was charged with positive energy. If I could sit down and plan my life over, I would choose this part of it every time. She is strong in my mind at the moment, as she died in my womb on the 25th of May, 2006, and on the 25th of May this year I felt her death again (inadvertently, I had actually given no thought to the significance of the date until she gave me a gentle nudge). She struggled with death, I felt again her little body inside me jerking and shaking, kicking and arching and then nothing. It was the most movement I had felt in weeks, her one last fight before moving on. She had trouble letting go. Phoebe knew that she was never to take a breath, she knew she was here just for us, to give us the gift of conscious living. I love that she also had the human traits of not wanting to go when her time had come - she was a wise angel and spoke to me loudly enough that I could hear her very clearly. A determined girl. Yeah, some days I wish I could hold her and watch her grow up, those days are rare, as I appreciate that she sacrificed her chance at life so that we could REALLY live. She is and always will be such a treasured family member. Arohanui Phoebe, thank you for blessing us.

Love to you Meg.  And thank you for sharing.  Sometimes the biggest trials in life release us to live more of life.  But you already know that.

Blessings
Jacque

I've been thinking of you and Phoebe this week Meg.  My first baby boy died on the 16/6 (birthed 18/6) so it's a date I remember.  What you say is so true.  If you want/need to talk IRL lmk and we can get together.

love Jen

I'm sure, virtualmeg, we will meet our lost babies again.
No-one can understand how it feels ... and you find yourself thinking how old would he/she be now?  what would he/she be doing?  this would have been his/her birthday.
I believe that good can come from everything that happens.  Yes, we do learn from suffering - but I'm sure we learn even more (maybe things we don't even realise) - and become a more understanding, better, richer person.

Phoebe is there ... and one day you'll be together.  and she's just as real as you and me.  An old man recently told me that it has taken him all his life to realise we are not physical beings with a spiritual side - but that we are spiritual beings with a physical side.

Congratulations on your daughter virtualmeg.... and thank you for sharing her story.  

Meg thank you so much for telling us all about your very special Phoebe.  She obviously gave you a lot of strength as well as understanding, that is so wonderful.

One of my cousins gave birth to triplets prematurely, just a few weeks after her mum died, and the babies all died between 2 and 8 hours after they were born. 

I can't begin to imagine what you have all been through, but my heart goes out to you in love, and also in awe of your strength.  And that goes for Anakia and Suecq as well.

Love and special hugs,
May

Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience.

Your positivity is absolutely beautiful and inspiring.

Dearest Meg, a warm heartfelt hug to you, she was and is such a beautiful gift to you and your family, she chose well.....xxxxxx

Meg thanks for sharing such a personal story with us. I know that if it happened to me I wouldnt be as strong as you. I believe everything happens for a reason and I am so glad that you found the reason for Phoebe little life. How beautiful that she comes to you and gives you a little nudge when you least expect it. Big hugs to you and your family in this time your in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Meg,

Thanks for sharing this. Having never experienced it I can only imagine how painful this could be on so many levels.

 Love and hugs to you and your husband also.

xoxoxo

Thanks everyone - wasn't meant as a sympathy call out, still lovely to hear your kind words though. No pain here Jennie, I have met many people who are stuck indulging in the victim scenario crying "why me?" and I feel very fortunate that it didn't strike me that way. The title to this thread 'letting go' was referring to Phoebe letting go (yeah, I know, you probably already got that!), as she really hung on in there for so long. It really was one of the best experiences in my life - and I felt that at the time too, not just a hindsight thing. Figured here was a good place to say something to acknowledge her since RP crew are all shiny happy people and Phoebe is a bright star.

maybe that is the reason why there are more vegan women than men?
cos women can physically relate to a mother dairy cow/goat or chicken etc.. when her newborns are taken away everytime.

last thing we want is sympathy..cos it just keeps us in the state that makes people feel sorrry for us.
 when people around us can highlight that the best comes from the worst...thats the ticket.
vm is on the right wicket.

Meg you are an inspiration. Hats off to you and thanks so much again for telling.

xoxoxo