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Hey all raw friends out there. All my life there has been one thing I love doing more than anything else in the world.
And thats dancing. Its one thing I live for. Ever since the age of 5 I think watching Rage in mornings of a weekend I would dance while mum and my sister would be sleeping. Dance means so many things to me not just a way to have fun.But to express your feelings, to find your inner energy for me its in a mascaline form.
Anyway I am starting this journal for your support. Tonight I have found the dates for the auditions for the hit tv show (Australian version ) and there in 2 weeks.Arrrhhh. 13th and 14th of October in Brisbane.Got get the time off work. I am finding it hard to breath I am so excited.  :yahh:
I am going to audition to test my talent up against myself not the world. How I go against others is not what I will be looking for. I looking to grow and to learn from others though the experience no matter how long the journey will be.

Love Sachman

What a blessing that you know what it is that makes your heart sing! I agree that dancing is a wonderful way to express our inner thoughts/feelings/desires. I'm sure we've had this conversation before. I love deep, rythmic music, like african tribal dance. It makes me want to shake-what-my-mumma-gave-me  :ohyeah: lol

I'm sending you lots of energy and positive vibes Sach. You will do wonderfully!  

How exciting Sacha, I think you have the right attitude, to go there and learn and grow, better yourself personally, that is a great attitude and with that frame of mind hopefully you will create your dream.

For me, I love Flamenco, hoping to get back into it one day soon...hey Raw Vegan Pea is a dancer too.

Good luck, I am sure you will be fantastic.

Love BB
XXX

Wow...this is so wonderful to follow your passion; may it bring you all you hope it to.  I'll be cheering you on and wishing you all the very best at the audition.

Love,

swami xxx

Awwwww Sach that is so awesome! I'm having some friends over for dinner that night. Why don't you come along and tell us how you go?

xoxoxo

Thankyou ladies for your loving words of support.
Jen that would wonderful. On sunday you ask me  what am I up to am I said I don't know yet. Well to let you know Jen I went home and without planing it I put some music on and danced for 3 hrs and worked up a great sweat before going in for a swim. see its my life.LOL

Sach!

Darling Sach,

I have no idea about TV or what's on but I guess 'So you think you can dance' is a TV show.  What I do know is your love of dancing though and I am so very excited for you about the prospect of you auditioning.  This is wonderful news.

I feel your jitters, so you'd better keep us all informed pronto once you find anything out as to how you did.

Congratulations on having the gumption to go out there and strut your stuff anyway.  That's all the prize you really need.  I can just imagine you receiving the major prize and instead of 'I'd like to thank my Mother and my primary school teacher, and my makeup artiste....' you'll be saying 'I'd like to thank my Mother and the energy I've gained from raw, living foods...'  LOL

Great news Sach!!! :yahh:

Love
May

Yes, great news, but even better news...May's back!!  Hooray!!  I hope you're back to stay beautiful May!

Love swami xxx

Thankyou May yes it is a tv show. Big in the US, now an Australian version will be airing early next year. If I do win I will thank all on the Raw Pleasure forum for sure. But I don't want to get ahead of myself LOL. Although I am flirting with the idea of winning from time to time, I focused on competing against myself. When I audition I know I will be in awe of the talent but that bring fear it will bring inspiration.

My main concern now in the lead up to the audition is my ankle, and the healing it needs. About 4-5 weeks ago I strained it while running and because  of work and my dancing I do at home, its not healing. So today I went and got it massaged and got some reiki done. It felt real good afterwards so I will see how it is tomorrow. Might want to go back there but its very painful now. If any of you have any thoughts on healing a strained ankle please let me know.

love Sach!

Sach, you could try apple cider vinegar on it.  Here are a couple of quotes about using it to cure sprains.  It's an old fashioned kind of cure, but could be worth trying:

"I thought I had broken my ankle. It was so bad I had to crawl on my knee and my leg and foot were one! My grandmother told me to soak a brown paper bag in vinegar and wrap it around my foot all night. Incredible results. The swelling had gone down two thirds and in three full days I was walking on it again."

"As a child I was plagued with sprains. My grandmother mixed apple cider vinegar with red clay, heated it and made a paste. It was placed on the sprain and then wrapped with strips of an old sheet. After an hour the paste was soaked off with warm water and my sprain was healed."

I sent you a PM as well with some more practical help.

Hope it heals in time for the audition.

Love,

swami x

I think your ankle may just need a group hug!   I'm sure that would fix it :-)   Many healing vibes going your way Sach...

It will be amazing to see one of the Raw crew dancing on TV! Can't wait.

Sach,

your body knows what is best for it. you are a  meditator. so meditate and ask your body what is the best way for it to heal. it will answer you but you know this. your body is the healer , the mind and spirit the coaches.

whilst you are there ask them to combine together and let you perform to the best of your ability on your day. then just get ouy of the way and let the true Sach dance.

It is great you understand that the competition lies within yourself cause it truly does. your performance is the only thing you can control the rest are external forces - none of which you can do anything about. whether you make it onto the show or come first are all irellevant and out of your control. what matters is Sach doing the best he can, doing what he loves to do and having fun!!! This being said I truly wish for all your dreams to unfold right before your very eyes now and forever.

form a physical viewpoint if you were doing a run or swim etc it would be time to taper so it might be worth considering to not dance or minimise your dancing so when your big day comes you will be busting at the seems to let your hair down (he he) and dance until you drop lol!

rock on Sach the dancer !!

Speedy

Thankyou you all for your loving healing words. They mean so much. If I could I would give you all a kiss and a hug. So heres a virtual one. opps thats kiss went for to long.lol

When I found out about the dates, one of the first things I had to do was get the weekend off work. I thankfully got the Saturday off not the Sunday so I will ring ch 10 up and find out if both days are needed. I wouldn't think so being an audition. We will see.

One of the things I must have for the audition is two cds of music, which have to be store bought. I was a dj so thats not a big issue. But always feel I never have enough music.lol
It says on the site they may be used on the day. So I am guessing that I will get to choose two songs to dance too. I have been thinking of songs I would like to dance too. Favourite dance songs that really get me going and have no boring or flat bits, that show all of my talent from that genre of music. I am thinking one hip hop song and one dance song, my specialties.When I am working on my creativity I like focusing on different body parts at times when I dance at home like not using any foot work and only upperbody. Sometimes only hand/arm movements. That way when I am gong for it I can be more expressive and creative to each beat. So with the ankle I will be doing a fair bit of that over Friday and birthday Saturday, my days off. I have an amazing home threatre sound system so it will be getting a work out too. If anyone ever hears any great tunes let me know. and I don't just mean for the audition. I love all music even country and opera although not my favourites.

Love The Sachman!

ps big welcome to the forum EVC

I don't know if you would like this one Sach.  I adore it because they really MEAN it.  They can't sing for nuts but it's so energetic, great, constant beat.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEz9DJ9br48 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEz9DJ9br48)

The full version is called 'No-one else' by Bushman.

Another all time energy song to me is 'James Brown is Dead'.  I have Lords of Acid Remix.  I just about exhaust myself to that one LOL  You just have to!

I love 'Control the Party' but it doesn't stay fast for long, has a drawn out slow down in it.  The fast beginning is awesome.

Do you know the last two?

Love
May

Aaaw Sach...kisses can never be too long (unless they're from crusty old men, but since that's not you.......!!!!!!!!).

I had to laugh reading your post, as I imagined someone sending you some opera and you dancing to it.  Or...doing the dance routine you were telling us about, where you had to guide the lady and have her copy you.  I'm sure something like that would go down a treat!!

Love & hugs,

swami xx

Hey Sacha, I heard the ad on SA Fm tonight and thought of you....I cant wait to hear how it all goes. Hey what songs do you have in mind, look on youtube for the exact song and put the link in your journal so we can all see.

May you are so funky, I love your energy and vitality, you are soooo much fun!

Love and healing to your ankle sacha

BB
XXX

I was listening to a CD yesterday arvo that always gets me going and it's by Delirium. It's a combo of chanting, singing and some very groovy music.  

Hehehe, thanks BB.  Yeah, I'm pretty hard to hold still.

David always says he hates techno/dance but he often chooses those CDs to listen to so he just likes to grumble more than anything else ;)

Off to find and listen to your song now Emi.

Love
May

Just popping in to say...have a lovely day Sachman!...all your friends here send you a big warm hug on the breeze!

love BB
XXX

May thanks for the songs your the best. I agree with everything BB said.

Swami you made me laugh with that thought. Thanks. Look forward to seeing you Sunday. Only 3 sleeps to go.

Emi I will search Delirium. I think I have some of his stuff. Thanks. I have wanted share with you forsome time now all your posts I love. You seem to really strike accord with me with all that you share.

BB  Thankyou! for that hug. I felt it when I came home this afternoon after poping online and could still feel the hug as I crossed the road for a swim in the ocean.

I have thought for a long time now that no one has really seen myself dance truly. And I am thinking if I am going to get the most from the experience I don't want to hold out. Which means I will have to
share my dark side to the world. That means I need to show all of my pressence in my dancing. I want to show pressence that would tear off a womans clothes with look of an eye.LOL

I will share some songs over the next couple of days.

Sachman

Thank you Sach :wub:


In that case can I recommend Planet Love?  rofl  Add Sachman to Planet Love and they'll all be fainting in the aisles I can assure you!!!

Heaps of amore (my French is terrible!  Is yours briliant?)
May

whats planet love?
 I can only do a French accent I can't speak it.

Planet Love is the nudge nudge wink wink song I sent you.  Did you get that one?  I sent it about 4 hours ago.

It'll do the job you want ;)

I can't do a French accent, mostly because I can't roll my r sound.

I vaguely remember a few words in French from my high school lessons.

Love
May

lol so much and had an absolutely clear mental image of all the ladies in the audience losing their clothes, as you strutted your dark-stuff with a french accent. If only I could take what I see in my head and pop it into your head and we could laugh together.

You are just so lovely Sach, can't wait to meet you one day.  

Trust me I am laughing. Can't wait to meet you too one day. How exciting will that be.

Laughing, laughing!  So much I could say, but this is a public forum, so I think I should restrain myself!!!

just pretend its you and me here lol

Ok, let's pretend!!




Oh no, I can't.

You REALLY don't want to know what I'm thinking!

 :stop:

xx

You know you want too deep down. Don't you? lol

Well, come on you two, I can't stay up all night in anticipation... LOL

First it's coconuts and now it's who knows what %)

Love
May

Do green smoothie cure shyness? anyone

Oh May, what can I say?

Opening my coconuts, French accents, tearing off a woman's clothes with the look of an eye...you've seen his photo...he's 100 times more beautiful in real life!!!   :crazy:

You'll have to imagine the rest...LOL!!!

Love,

swami xx

I am speachless as I blush.
Thankyou

De rien!

x

Swami is that French? what does that mean?

This morning I have been watching two Micheal Jackson dvds and a Jame Brown dvd.My favourite film clip is 'Smooth Criminal' I love watching how much human emotion can go into movement. There can be a story told in dance if you harness the energy not just sing or do a little number then songs become timeless. Not to say dancing can'nt  be fun too. I know for me if your not prepared to look silly at times and have fun with all things in life you get know where. Think I might watch some Elvis today or tomorrow. Going to watch dance movie tonight.

Sachman

I think they do Sach because raw certainly helps your (my) confidence levels, and what is 'shy' but a lack of total confidence?


Oh la la!!! ;) :P

Well he sure is yummy in his pic, and even more yummy in character so...  well, I won't fight you for him, I've got one and I'm too far away, and too old LOL

Is 'de rien' what a laugh?  Or am I way off?  Je suis une petite idiot :P

Elivs ???  Oh no!!!!!!!!!  There goes the planet :(

Love
May

Ha May...there's no fighting.  I'm also way too old, so have to leave him for the more eligible ladies out there!  Doesn't stop me looking though!!!   :rolleyes:

Yes, way off with the translation!  It means "you're welcome" (and yes, Sach, it's French!).

Ever since this thread started, I've been hearing about "So You Think You Can Dance" all over the place.  I was at my chiro session yesterday and heard a lady say it was her daughter's favourite TV show, and then today some friends were telling me about it too.  And I'd never even heard of it before. 

Sacha, what are you doing for your special day tomorrow?

Enjoy your dance movie tonight.

Love,

swami xx

To our very own, wonderful Sachman,

On the occasion of 4 hours to go to your birthday (hope I adjusted the time correctly), I would like to wish you the best birthday you have ever had.  Now, what can we give you for a present?  The answer to me is very obvious and I do hope you like it...

Picture yourself going for a dance audition, and when you get there all of the judges are your raw friends and admirers.  You smile happily, shake down your long locks and perform the dance of your life - completely free to be yourself, your whole self and hold nothing back.

As the music ends you know you have given the performance of your life and the judges are on their feet applauding.  But not for long.  They then race across to you and give you the most meaningful hugs you've ever had and tell you you're through and have every chance of winning the whole thing.

And then they invite you across the road to a new raw cafe which serves Sprout and the Bean foods, and they're giving away free mangoes to take home afterwards.  Mangoes which need eating in the bath because they are sooooo juicy!


Love
May

WOW! Thats the best present I have ever recieved. Thankyou so much. You left a heart print on my soul. Your the best May. Love you lots.

Swami I think I will go for a swim. Keep listening to more songs to dance and dance to them. I also going to dinner with my Sister.

Today I went shopping for my birthday on behalf mum and grandma(that our no longer with us). Got lots of great things.

Sacha

You deserved even better Sach, but I did my best.

Did you ever get Planet Love?  Or is it being naughty and not getting through to you?

Love
May

Thanks May.... Your such a special soul.

No it has not come though yet.

Dear Sacha

It's your Birthday!!  Hooray!

May your day be filled with an abundance of love and happiness.  I truly hope you have a wonderful day.

Lots of love, hugs & kisses,

swami xoxoxoxoxox

 :yahh: :yahh: :heart: Happy birthday sweet beautiful Sacha  :heart: :yahh: :yahh:


I hope you have the best day, you are so loving and kind, caring and compassionate to everyone here, I really love reading all you positive messages everywhere. So I am visualizing today that you are so happy, a feeling of warmth fills you as you realize you are special and dearly loved..have an Awesome day gorgeous!

love BB
XXX

Thankyou BB for your birthday wishes. I am touched.
Have wonderful day with you chickens.

Love Sacha

Happy birthday Sacha,

you truly bring so much love, gentleness and wisdom to this forum. may you be able to manifest all of your hearts content today and forever! dance your heart out on your special day and celebrate well !

speedy

Thankyou! EVC and Speedy
Group Hug to you both! Then a little giggle and a spin. yeeeha!

Just being doing some full intensity dancing.Looking for the right song. I have sweat dripping off me eveywhere down chest and face. Time to connect with nature and go for a swim.

Sachman

My birthday present to you Sach was a dance around the loungeroom!  

Dear Sacha, I hope you are having a brilliant birthday. Here I am walking to you opening my arms wide and enfolding you. A big smooch on the cheek and a big squeeze. You are one of the best people I've ever met. Happy birthday wonderful man!


xoxoxoxo

What a great cake Jen... how do you do all those clever things (like lines through your words, moving cakes etc.?). 

So Sach, how was your Birthday?  Did you have a lovely dinner with your sis (do you realise you've just gotten three new sisters too, as Mummy May has asked if she can adopt you?  You're now my little brother, and your other sisters are Emi and BerryBliss!)?  Where did you go, what did you eat, did you get any nice presents?  Curious big sister talk!!!

Hope you've had the best Birthday ever.  Don't stay up too late...early start tomorrow!!

Lots of love,

swami xxx

Emi Thankyou for my pressie

Jen Thankyou for you birthday wishes. You have enriched my life in so many ways. I feel so blessed to call you a friend. When you said some time ago when Piers and Sheryl were staying with you and you said you were adopting me with there departure I felt so loved. Thankyou

Swami I haven't been asked yet from Mother May to be adopted yet so until then I can still think of you, Jen, Emi and BB as yummy mummies.LOL

I had a great day I chilled out at home on RP.I also danced went for a swim, I went and bought some cds for myself. I got a some two new pairs of Nike Frees ( I am a big fan ) from mum and I got a pair Bose headphones from Grandma. The best sound you can get. To give you an idea the cost $150.Expensive but I love my sound. I am listening to them now, amazing sound. I also got some dvds, one a freestyle dance dvd by a choreographer to stars like Britney Spears, Mya and Hilary Duff. Can't wait to give that ago because I have never done choregrapghed moves. The best thing I got by far was a phone call by my best friends Piers and Sheryl. I haven't hered there voices for a long time since they moved to Canada. I love them so much. This afternoon I went to pay my respects to my mum and grandma. This was emotional for me. Then I went to see my sister. What my sister is to me sounds similar to your mothers  May,Emi and Swami. She like usual found something to fight over. And so she said that she did not want to take me out for dinner and spend the afternoon with us. Wanting to resolving her upset I shared some global believes about life to bring about change in ones life and so that happenned and her upset was gone. Was happy about that. We went to a  Asian Vegan resturant. Old fav forget the name, mybe Ti Ran or something. Had vegan stirfry fish and brown rice and a mixed entree. Nice. Then we went back to my sisters place to set up a new laptop I helped her buy. Oh yeah she got a Dali Lama dvd for me. Looks very interesting.

Thank you again to everyone that sent birthday wishes. They brought big smiles to my face and joy to my heart. I love you all like family.

Love Sach

Glad you had a lovely day Sach, some great gifts for you! I love my bose' headphones, the sound quality is perfect!

Well done on turning your sister around today. I love what you said about sharing beliefs to bring about change. Wise and loving - an amazing combo.

Enjoy your new music and have a great night.  

Hey Sach.  I think May's adoption request is in her journal!

Sounds like you had a bit of an up and down day.  I'm glad you resolved your issues with your sister.  Will be interested to hear how you achieved that resolution so effectively (tomorrow maybe).

I can imagine that the visit to your mother and grandmother was emotional, but lovely that you went.

Tian Ran!!  That's my favourite restaurant; the place I go to every week...the one I'm trying to give up!!  I drove past there tonight and almost stopped in to grab some dinner, but decided to stick to raw!

Anyway, glad your day was mostly great!  Sounds like you're a bit of a shopper!!

See you soon.

Love swami xx

let's all vote for sacha on so you think you can dance. please let us know when they broadcast it.
travis

Yes Sach it was in my journal.  Seeing as you're too young for me to run away with you, I may as well adopt you LOL

I'm so pleased that you had a happy day and please do tell how you tackled your sister.

Heaps of love
Mummy May May

First I want to say thankyou Travis for you support.

Want to touch on what I have said in Jens and Swami's journals. What a beautiful morning. I left leaving all fuzzy love inside and it stayed with me all day.

One of the keys to bring about change is all about focus and the questions we ask to ourselves of ourselves about anything. Like what does this mean? or what can I learn from this? or how can this person do this person do this to me? or whats wrong with me? I changed her focus from her upset after listening and letting her vent to a belief of mine when it came too 'what to do now'( because we had dinner plans and she didn't won't to go). A belief to resolve the upset that to her sounded interesting that she want to know more about. So intead of asking disempowering questions about of her upset. She unknowingly was asking at that point 'what is this belief that can change how I feel?' or 'what can I learn from this?' I told her, she like it and we made it happen.We then had dinner.

Love to all of you that have made today and yesturday so special. Its the best birthday I have had such a long time.

Love Sachman

Thank you for explaining that Sach.  You are a world class listener to hear what your sister was meaning, even though it was different to what she was saying.  99% of people only hear the words and never look deeper.

And I'm so pleased that you've had such a nice birthday weekend :)

Love
May

Sach, May's right.  You really are a good listener.  You actually listen to what the person speaking is saying and hear them out, then pause to think, which makes me feel like you're listening while that person is speaking, not just waiting for the second their mouth shuts so you can jump in and say something.  You also make great eye contact, which is something I always admire in anyone.

I have a friend who, for a few weeks now, I've come to realise is a terrible listener.  He constantly interrupts whoever is speaking, often jumping in with something totally unrelated to what's being said.  It's as though he's thinking about something else and just has to speak.  I'd say he listens to about 50% of conversations, if that.  I find it very disrespectful when someone doesn't listen or when they interrupt while someone else is speaking. 

Also happy that you had a lovely Birthday weekend; was nice to share a small part of it with you.

Love,

swami xxx

Hey Sacha, you made me blush what you said in my journal  :rose: How sweet!

Hope you had a fantastic birthday, How are you going in preparation for the comp?

I must agree with Swami, you are such a deep thinker and great listener, dont ever change Sach, the world needs more like you, your beautiful.

Have a lovely day my friend...oops I should say "brother"

love BB
XXX

 Thanks sisters BB and Swami and of course MotherMay. I enjoy listening to women. I feel the more I get to know women, understand them like there pain, there joy and what makes them feel loved. All those things will make me a better husband one day and of course I truly do care for the person I listen too.I will say this though no one can listen to women like women do because us men think differently.  I find women facinating.Us men are pretty simple. I believe anyway or is that I understand them because I am one and I am not interrested in them anymore then as mates.lol Relationships can bring the greatest pleasure and they can bring the greatest pain. Recently I have endured the pain of sharing my interest in someone. Its pretty hard when you meet someone and spend alot of quality time and that you see as perfect in your mind and they see the same.And to click on so many levels but want to take the in different directions. One friendship one relationship. I guess sometimes our intincts are wrong maybe.

The ankle is pretty good lately. Today I don't think I will do much with my dancing because work will take a big chunk of my day.But from tomorrow arvo and Wednesday. Its full on. I hope to have chosen my music my the end of Wednesday. 

Love Sach!

Hi Sach.  Sorry to hear you've endured pain recently.  You're right about relationships bringing the greatest pleasure and the greatest pain. 

I'm reading a really interesting book at the moment that puts love into perspective.  It's written in the form of a woman giving a lecture, so you as the reader are listening to the lecture as you read it.  She is being channelled from a spirit I guess...an entity that claims to be 35 000 years old.  I found it hard to read at first, but the more I'm reading, the more I'm gaining.

It's called "That Elixir Called Love" by Ramtha and the subtitle is "The Truth About Sexual Attraction, Secret Fantasies, And The Magic Of True Love".  It sounds from that to be a book about romantic love, but I think it can be related to any kind of love.  It gives an insight into both women and men, the games we play, and the ways we've compromised ourselves to get what we think we want and the cost to who we are by doing that. 

It gives compelling arguments for choosing a life of celibacy.

Maybe you can bring your chosen music to Jen's on Wednesday night and give us a preview of what you'll be doing at the audition!!  I'd love to see you dance, since you think you can!!!!! 

Love your big sis,

swami xxxx

Sach there is something *more* special about being truly listened to by a guy than another woman.  Any true listening is a wonderful, healing thing to receive it really is, but to think that a guy will make the effort to listen with his feelings, with his heart, as well as his ears - that truly is a gift beyond measure.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've had a heart break.  I'd given up guys when I met David, at the tender age of 16.  I'd swamped (over loved) 2 guys before David came along and was feeling pretty hesitant and raw and cautious.  But then along came David - perhaps the only guy in the world who could accept as much love as I needed to give, and the rest is history.  You will find your perfect match too, of that I'm sure.

I'm so proud to have you as my cyber-son, you are such an incredibly beautiful person!!!  I'm going to copy your avatar, and my cyber-daughters too, and put them in my journal later.  Have a little 'official adoption' post LOL

Love and hugs
May

Oh, an official adoption post!  That sounds wounderful!

You're right May.  Women just know how to listen, so we can share pretty much anything with our girlfriends and know we'll be heard and understood.  But to be truly listened to by a man is a rare thing, and to be listened to by a man with an open heart and who's connected to his feelings is even more special.  You are as lucky to have Sach as a son as I am to have him as a brother. 

I'm sure you'll meet the one too, Sacha.  You are too beautiful a person with too much love to give not to share it with someone else.  I know she will be a blessed woman to have you as her partner.

Wow May...given up at the age of 16!!  That's so young!  I've only just given up now, at 36.  I was walking on the beach about a month ago and I came to realise that all my life, no matter whether I've been in or out of a relationship, I always dreamed of meeting my soul mate...the man who I was destined to share all my days with.  I realised I was still believing that the fairy tale could come true.  Then as I walked along the beach, I had a huge smile on my face and I felt so blissfully happy.  It occurred to me that I didn't want to have a man in my life; that the pleasure of my past relationships wasn't greater than the pain, and that the fairy tales of my dreams are just that...fairy tales.  I came to a space of contentment and peace, knowing that I can happily journey through my life without a partner by my side.  The book I've mentioned is just helping to confirm this for me.  Anyway May, I'm glad that David came along when he did and was open to all your beautiful love.  You are lucky to have found each other and to be walking the journey of life alongside one another.

Oops...sorry to barge in on your journal Sacha.  Big sisters can be so rude!!

Love to you both,

swami xxxx

Swami, maybe Z is the only man for you for a while?  But you're happy and that's all that counts.

Big :wub:
May

Don't be silly sis your always welcome to go off and yarn about anything here.

Thanks mummyMay and big Sis for your kind words of support. Never know whats around the corner with love Hey.  That book sounds awsome Sis. I wonder if there a audio version too. Might search for it tomorrow. I enjoy listening. As a kid I spent more time listening to my grandma then anybody else. We would seat out on the verander with the open breeze, listening to the birds sing while grandma had her tea and biscuits. After a while outside we would go inside to watch the criket. I would spend days with her only stopping for her nanna naps and my arvo swims When we cam to visit. We did this till the day she died. Tears are starting to flow. I thank her for helping me to listen from the heart. I feel so blessed because she was more than a grandma she was like another mother to me which is hard to explain. In my adult life I was so blessed she once told me that I was her favourite grandchild not that I looked for that. It bought about patience in me too because she was hard of hearing. And now I have Mummy May and three beautiful sisters. I have been so blessed that I feel that it is my calling to love others as my family because of the love that was given to me. I am feeling so loved in my life after a long stint of lonelyness after I broke up with ex 4 months out from our wedding and the loss of grandma and my mother.And when I found out my dear friends Piers and Sheryl were moving to Canada earlier this year, it was hard. Now I have a fanclub at work with customers alway having a chat to me,sharing a laugh and even praying for me.Now a new family(May and the sisters) and new friends on the forum. There is so much love in this world. I must pass it on.I must! When I share this love with another someone special I will feel so complete.

Thankyou from heart to everyone in the world that has ever loved me even those that brought pain to my life.You have helped shape who I am today. I can love myself to love all the souls in my world.

Love Sach!

Beautiful post there Sach.  Your words made me think also of my own grandmother,  spending time with her in her garden as she taught me of plants and magic.  I think learning to listen to people is such a lovely trait,  and sometimes by being quiet in life you can watch and learn so much more.  Saddened to hear of your recent losses, yet happy to hear of your gains...  I think life definitely is cyclic?

Dear Sach, my darling brother

I had such a lump in my throat as I read your last post.  I don't know how recently you lost your grandmother and mother, but I know from what I've read that they've both had a huge influence on your life.  I'm sorry to hear of your sense of loss and loneliness with losing your ex-partner and your closest friends moving overseas. 

There have been a few things you've said in the last week that have really made me stop and think.  As you know I'm having these mother issues, and her main interest is to have the opportunity to resume a relationship with Zak, her favourite grandson.  Because of my trust issues with her, I was thinking that this was not the right time, but now I read your post, through the eyes of a grandchild who adores his grandmother, and I must question what the right decision is.

I'm finding it so hard to come up with the answers.  I actually thought I was clear on this issue, although I was meant to give an answer by last Friday and extended the deadline by a week.  I know people come into our lives when they're supposed to, so I wonder whether you're teaching me to see things from another perspective.  I know the love my mother has for Zak is the kind of love your grandmother has for you, and maybe it's not my place to deprive him of that.

It's so difficult.  In any other situation, I'd never let him spend time with someone I can't trust, and I thought that alone was enough to help me be clear on what I must do.  Now I'm not so sure.

If you have any more words of wisdom to help me to be clear, but not out of guilt, I'd be very grateful.  Thanks Sach.

Love Sis xxx

I would be happy to help. how about I come over on Wednesday and have a chat before Jens dinner?
Love Sacha

Beautiful loving Sacha, I just want to wrap my arms around you and give you a big sisterly hug, you bring tears to my eyes, that I cannot see the keyboard, you are so beautiful in so many ways, I know I am only your cyber sister and we have just met, but your strength and beauty of soul comes shining through in all your posts...well. most of them when you are not being cheeky!!

Sorry to hear of your heartbreak with your ex, I have no words to say that can help, but I am just thinking from my own experience...That even when it felt so right with one of my past boyfriends, and there were unanswered questions, deep pain and self doubt, I am so glad that walking with him was not my path, although I could not see it at the time...the path was presented to me of my husband, we are so right for eachother, and I cannot imagine life without walking beside him, he compliments me in every way, he takes my breath away everyday when he envelopes me in his arms, just one look and he see's onto my soul, I am so thankful that I had a painful breakup, so that I could recieve a greater gift in my life.

Your grandma gave you a wonderful gift, she taught you to listen and love deeper, without judgement, to have patience...what a wonderful beautiful woman she must have been. I dont know what you beleive, but I believe that life continues after death, and when you see her again one day you can throw your arms around her neck and thank her.  I know that when the time is right, your path for love will be presented, and then you will be fulfilled and your pure love will be returned ten fold.

I am sending some healing/strength prayers/visualizations that your ankle will heal and be strong for your big day, I cannot wait, I am so excited for you, would love to come to the auditions with you for support, even though I will not be there physically, I will be there in spirit...to cheer on my brother. GO Sacha GO


Beautiful sister Swami, I have to say firat of all, I am so happy to finally see a pic of you, now I can see the real you and not a funny little cartoon thingy...let me say that you look exactly like my real sister, I had to do a double take, all my sisters and brothers are half, so we dont look the same, and you look like my youngest sis...and here you are being my sis!!

Let me tell you of my experience with my mother and my children, hopefully it might help.

I cannot trust my mother one bit, I question everything she says, because most of the time it is a lie, or she is trying to get something, or get attention. My mother always has other motives for almost everything she does. My husband wouldnt allow me to be alone with her (when I wasnt as strong emotionally) to protect me.
When my sister was allowing her little girl to be with mum all day everyday, so she could work, my mother was poisoning her little granddaughters mind, putting things into her that were not true about her father, I wont go into details, but it eventually was discovered and the daily visits stoppped. My mother says she wants to have a loving relationship with her children, yet she always seems to be looking for ways to bring us down. Anyhow, mum was always saying to me that she wanted my children to come over and spend time with her, we would always avoid the situation of that happening, knowing that she would do the same thing to them. and that is part of the reason we moved away,  Since moving back to Adelaide, my mother has said again that she wants to spend time with her grandchildren...
My daughter is 7, and we have explained very gently to becareful of Nanny, we explained things in a way she could understand, but not too much information to make her uncomfortable with my mother, I feel my daughter is now old enough to spend a few hours alone with my mum, not too long as we are still very cautious, we have to be...it is our precious family. My daughter ended up having a lovely day with mum in the city and they both came home peaceful and happy.
When my daughter was younger I definately said no to one on one time, because my little one didnt know the right from wrong. I would suggest you wait till you know within yourself that your z is strong enough to be alone with your mother, explain how she is in a gentle way to Z and tell him to be careful, that he can tell you all about the visit and what was talked about. The choice is yours, you do what YOU feel is right when YOU feel the time is right...why do you have to have a deadline anyhow??? You are the mother, you know what is best and YOU dont have to follow deadlines, having that pressure put on you, listen to your heart, it is your life, you are not a child anymore, but a beautiful woman. Of course, dont make your decision out of revenge, but love, love for your mother and Z, in knowing what is best for them at the right moment.

Sorry Sacha, but i know you wont mind me spending a little time writing to our sister.  :heart: Love you both

hope my this helps,

Much love to you Sacha and Swami and Dearest Mother May
Cant wait to see what the adoption post is all about...I am so excited and humbled to be finally called a daughter.

Love
BB
XXX

Hi Sacha

Thank you for your offer.  Wednesday could be tricky, just because Zak will be around and I can't have this conversation in front of him (and my apartment is not big enough for him not to be within listening distance).  Maybe we can have a chat some other time.  I'd really like to hear it from your perspective, but your post has made me do a lot of thinking, which I'll discuss today with the psychologist who did our joint session.

Hope you have a great day and the dance practice is going well for you.

Love,

Sis xxx

**EDIT TO ABOVE**  Just a thought.  We can take Zak down to the pool and we can chat while he swims (or we can have a spa while he swims!).  If that suits, let me know what time you want to come by. x

Dear BerryBliss, my beautiful sister

We were writing at the same time, so I've just come back to read what you wrote.  You have such a depth of understanding and what you wrote to both Sach and me was beautiful.

Having my mother see Zak alone is not even part of the equation.  She is just bidding for the opportunity to see him, having not done so for almost four years (apart from a one hour dinner about 6 weeks ago, at which I wasn't present).  He knows to some extent the situation between us and I am hesitant to ask him directly what he wants as I know he'll feel pulled to do the right thing by me, even if it goes against what he wants in his heart. 

This was always going to be a decision I left up to Zak, but through some of my mother's games, she managed to get to Zak to call her and then asked if he wanted to have dinner with her.  He was chaperoned by his dad, who was keeping the lines of communication open with her (to a larger extent than I knew about). 

Prior to that dinner, she was willing to go to counselling to resolve our issues if Zak wanted to continue a relationship with her, but since seeing him, she has now made it all about her...her needs, her wishes, and I'm once again caught up in her mind games and manipulation.  This is where I need to be so cautious, as it plugs me in and doesn't make for a peaceful life.  I thought I was strong in my decision to keep her out of our lives, but then after reading Sacha's post last night, I'm trying to understand it more from a grandson's perspective.  I know when Zak was little, he did adore his grandmother.  Now he seems to be rather indifferent to her, but we don't really talk about her either.  Until August, he hadn't seen her since he was 5, so his memory of her may not be so clear.

What scares me is the same as what scares you with your mother...that she will repeat the same games with Zak that she played with her children.  I'm also worried about her neediness.  The way I see her love, it's not love in the sense of giving and caring; it's an emptiness within her that she needs others to fulfill because she is not complete in herself.  I worry about the pressure she'll unwittingly put on Zak to fulfill that emptiness within her, and the ways she'll manipulate him in order to make herself believe that she is unconditionally loved.  I'm so scared of using my little boy, who I'd protect with my life, as a guinea pig to her games.  I know you understand what I mean.

Anyway, thank you BB for sharing another chapter in your life with us; I know all these experiences make us who we are and give us the strength and resolve to be better people and better mothers.

I send you much love,

swami xxxx

Sis, your mother sounds EXACTLY like mine, and in this case there is no wrong or right answer. You have to follow your gut, or instincts, and not be played by emotional blackmail, sure take into account her needs, but it is not up to you and Z to fulfill all her needs. Have compassion where compassion is needed, I think of my mother whom lost her own mother when she was 14, and so i take that into account, but still our childhood experiences dont have to determine how we treat people, we always have a choice as to whom we become and how we grow and learn.

Be strong, talk with Z father, pray/meditate and you will be guided in what to do, I beleive we are never alone, there is always a higher power watching over us, and will supply the answers if we have faith and are seekers of the greater light.

Love to you dear sis

Bb
XXX

Swami, I could have written that about my own mother and the thoughts, fears, etc that I am having at the moment. Particularly about the emptiness and finding other's to fill it.

Last night I felt so out of sorts. W finally told me to sit down and tell him what was going on. I didn't even know at first and then it clicked. I always feel so drained after spending any time with my mother. I had taken her to town with us for the arvo. By night time, I had had enough.

I spent the first 14 years of my life filling her gaps. Trying to be enough. Solving her problems. Taking her load onto my shoulders. And then dealing with the emotional guilt trips and mind games when I 'failed'. I definitely don't want this repeated for my children - mainly my daughter because she is so sensitive.

I am still indecisive as to what step to take, but this process has been very helpful. I think knowing that it isn't just me, it's not my failing, makes the biggest difference. Thanks everyone taking the time to talk about this stuff.

Sach, what a peaceful and loving space you provide. You could be a son of May for sure.  

Wow.  Am I proud of my little family or what?

It is so special to have the 4 of us here, at this time, and discussing these issues.  I feel so sure that everything has led to this point for us - the 4 girls (I'm still one!) with our issues and trying to sort through the past and get it organised for our futures.

I spent several hours last night folding and collating my brochures and was smiling for half of it because I knew that I now have the strength, and reasons, to be strong with my mum (and perhaps I'm different in that mine WILL listen when I spell it out).  And this morning I have awoken feeling strong, confident and happy that Today is the First Day of the Rest of my Life and I have the power to shape it to be what I want it to be.

To come here and read these wise and loving posts by my precious children is absolutely the icing on the cake.  Blessings to you all.

Love and tight hugs
May

Dear Swami, in the light of how you are feeling at the moment, what Emi has quoted you saying in your journal, I feel that perhaps now is NOT the time for your mother to have contact with Z or even you. Too much pressure will be upon you, too much worry and stress, trying to fill her needs whislt sapping the energy and life from you both. Of course it is your decision to make, I dont want to say do this...do that....but If I am reading correctly there seems to be a lot of serious unresolved issues and the fact that you feel fear for your little one being with her is enough to say "hey...time to pull back" I have been there many times and I definately understand. Your little one will not suffer life long damage for not seeing his grandmother right now...your love is strong enough and deep enough to fill his little life. Perhaps what we ladies need to do is break apart our experiences little by little sharing together each piece of pain that we remember, each action and word...talk about it together to heal and then try to move on...I am quite prepared to open my journal up for this purpose...or we could make a locked topic journal...what do you think?

so much love...
BB
XXX

Or even exchange email addresses and each send to the group of those who wish to be involved?  I would be happy to take it off the forum so we can speak more freely.  What do you guys think?

Love
May

Dear Emi, Berry and Mummy-May

Thank you for your replies.

I want to reply to each of you in more detail, but will have to do that later.  I just wanted to acknowledge your kind and caring words and let you know that after my session with my psychologist, I am back to my resolve of not allowing my mother back into our lives at this time.  (I think the psych thought I was a bit mad for even considering it; she had to endure us sitting side by side and could see clearly the way we (don't) relate to one another.  I think the lack of connection was a surprise to her.)

I have to go and prepare food now, but will come back and reply to you all later.

Yes, off the forum and via email sounds good May. 
Love,

swami xxx



(Edited to remove email address, now that my whole cyber-family has it.)

I am happy to take this to email and let Sacha get back to dancing   :yahh:

Just modified to say that I would love Sach to be involved if he wants to. His messages are always filled with love and wisdom.  

I'm going out in about an hour but all 3 daughters and 1 son have my email addy already.

Emi are you around and do you want to be part of this?  Sach, do you?  Girls, do we want Sach to keep us sane and grounded, or do we just want it to be amongst those who have 'been there'?

All emails about this topic will be sent to all participants so that we can each share our journey, and our ideas, and our victories.  Sharing what has been so that we can cleanse it away and heal it forever, and come up with strategies for a happier future.

Ah, I see Emi has just replied.  Won't change this though cos of the other questions, but am not ignoring you Emi :wub:

Swami, I am SO relieved that you are still keeping away from your mum.  I didn't like to say, but was relieved when BB did.  And am even more relieved that the psych agreed.  If that isn't agreement with your position I don't know what is!!!

I'll email us girls (just seen Emi's agreement).  Just need BB's email addy - please will you email me your addy BB?  And to know if we want Sach, and whether he wants to participate or not.

Love to all
May

Email is a fantastic idea, I have sent you a PM May...

Thankyou Sacha for allowing us to write in your journal and i would love sacha to be involved in he wants to, his advice is calming and peaceful.

Love BB
XXX

Hi Guys

I haven't visited this thread before...actually I've been a little slack and self centred and not done more than write in my own journal for the past week or 2 but as fortune may have it i was trying to reply to something in my journal when the strangest thing happened and poof i find myself hear in the middle of this very beautiful and caring space. I've had a few tears as I've read over the last 1/2hr and i just wanted to say to you all that you have my love and support. Sach you sound like such a lovely and caring man, any women should be proud to have you as a friend. BB Swami Emi and May..I hope that by talking together you will be able to help one another through any difficult patches and I hope for you all that at some stage you can move on from the pain your mothers have and still do cause you.
Lots of love
Peta (organic mama)

Hi organic mama.  Thank you for your lovely words.  I too hope we can heal our pain in order to move forward and put these mother issues in the past, or at least not have them arise as issues in our present and future lives.

I'm thinking back to the day I spent at the market the week before last with Jennie and Sacha.  Jen and I were having a really open discussion about parenting.  Some of what we said surprised Sacha, and he said something that has stayed with me.  I hope you don't mind me repeating it Sach, but as we were talking about some of the more difficult aspects of motherhood, Sach said that when he gets married and has children, he's going to do everything to ensure his wife never feels that way.  Sacha listened to everything we said, validated our experiences, and took it all on board.  I left there knowing that he really will honour his future wife in that way.  So, why am I saying all this?!?  At first I thought maybe we should keep this a girls only subject, but then I thought back to that conversation and everything Sacha has written in his and our journals, and I think his input (if he chooses to join) would be valuable for every one of us.  As well as offering a male perspective, he also offers a point of view from a son who has lost and mourns his mother, and he comes from a space of such love and compassion, which I think is something we shouldn't turn our backs on.  Plus, he really listens...like no man I've ever met before.  I vote our brother/son in, if he's interested in hearing our stories.

Thanks May for starting the email, and also for what you wrote here.  Now that I'm back home, I'm also glad my psychologist advised (as much as she's able to give advice) me to keep my mother away.  It's feeling like the right decision once again.  So glad you woke up feeling strong, happy and confident.  I bet it shows too.  It's amazing how much stress we allow ourselves to undergo at the expense of speaking our truth, just because of a biological connection.  I'm proud of you for coming to your decision Mummy-May. 

Emi, I wrote a few days ago in another journal (was it yours, mine, BB's or May's?!?) that our mothers sound so similar.  There was something you wrote that could have easily been me describing my mother.  It's funny that you recognised the same in my description of mother.  I'm sure you will find the right answer for your situation soon.

BB, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.  I know you weren't telling me to do this or do that...I actually loved that you felt you could give your advice - I appreciate it.  Thank you also for suggesting to take this to a new place of shared healing. 

OK Sach...back to your dancing!!  Only 4 days until the audition.  How are the song selections going?

Lots of love,

swami xxx

I was thinking about that very moment today Swami. The look on Sacha's face when he said that has stayed with me. It brings tears to my eyes to remember it. I almost feel guilty for having the conversation because it was almost like we traumatised him with it. But I learned from his response too. There was sooooo much empathy in his eyes, there's a lot of love in that man.

Hi Sach! Just remembered I was in your journal! What a great space you have provided. ((((((((((hugs))))))))

xoxoo

Sach....I just wanted to wish you all the best in your auditions for "So you think you can dance" I was very excited to hear that you will be auditioning as this is my favourite show on TV.
I hope the audition is filled with joy and is everything you want it to be.

Without reading every word of this post I have noticed you have a sore ankle that is not healing quickly....has anyone advised you of using arnica either homeopathically or in a tincture or oil/cream another very natural way is to find some one who grows comfrey(knitbone) and make up a poltice and apply to your ankle. also lots of ice.

Break a leg for the auditions
peta

hmmmmm, break a leg with that ankle?  rofl No pun intended I'm sure.

xoxoxo

Hey beautiful bro, havent see you all day, hope everything is alright, are you feeling nervous about the audition? I cant wait to hear all about it, I am so proud of you...you deserve the best, so go out there and knock'em down with your raw POWER!

Is the ankle feeling any better?....

Missing your wise and deeply understanding words...(and its only been one day!)

Love your sis BB
XXX

Hey Baby bro

Missed you yesterday as well...hope you had a great day and night, and will have a happy day rehearsing today.

See you this afternoon/evening.  Let me know what time you're coming over. 

Lots of love,

Sis xxx

Hello family and friends woke up this morning deflated because I got home at 10pm read all the beautiful post started to reply at 10:30.I wrote for at least and hour and a half I am sure about. Then woke at my laptop at 5am this morning with all that I wrote gone. Let me quickly recap.

I am so touched by everyones heartfelt messages. I glad my little journal provided such a loving backdrop to support each other.

BB I wanted to say first to you thankyou for you kind words about my grandmother. She was a special lady.I share your belief that I will meet with grandma and mum again.I will see them in heaven. She shaped my life in so many ways. I also wanted to thankyou for sharing your experiences with past boyfriends and where you are now with your husband. That helped alot.I am starting to let go of her I think even though I still see her as perfect in my minds eye. I feel closer to her than any other women I have been with.I aspire to be that man you have for my future lady. How I live today will determine that.Oh yes I can be a cheeky bugger. I love it.lol

Emi I love how you write. You write with such deep thought on what is the best way to get your message across.

Swami I am so happy that you have found the answer that was inside you always. When you make a decision it always feels good to come to  resolve something but to make a descision that you can live with and you are content. Thats awsome. I happy for you to share our conversations to contribute to the greater good.Go ahead Sis.

Mother May I can see why you would be so proud of your daughters. You are the light that shines on us all so bright.

Jen I can always count on you to bring a smile or a laugh out of me. About that conversation I felt blessed to be trusted by yourself and Swami to talk so openly about the pressures of motherhood.

Peta thankyou for your support. It means more than you know. Thanks also for your suggestions for the ankle. I will look into them. Thanks again for contributing in my journal.Come back soon.

My ankle is well a bit saw and week after a busy day at work then traveling to the other side of the Gold Coast for my monthly property meetings. Thanks everone for asking and sending lots of healing into my world about the ankle. It seem to be going to the heart too. Yesturday with the busy day I had I thought of you all. You all brought a smile to my face. I LOVE my family and friends and those that pop in to wish me the best.

Love Sach!

Ps I would love to be part of this email goup of healing. What a blessing to be welcomed. I think I may only play a small part of the group but hopefully a potent one.  

Just wanted to share the words of a dance song I am listening to 'somewhere deep in side, somewhere deep inside me, I found, the child I youst to be and I know that its not to late, never to late'.
Love it! Was just dancing to a song I love more now than I did when it was first released. Don't laugh now. Vanilla Ice. Ice Ice Baby. It goes off. LOL

OOooooooohhhh, I still love Ice Ice Baby too :)

Yes, the child inside me is alive and well - that song is right, it's never too late for an open heart.

Poor Sach, I'm so sorry you lost all you had written last night, I bet it was beautiful too.  I'm sure the thoughts have gone out to those you wrote for though, so not 100% wasted.

I've emailed you your sisters email addys.  So excited about you joining us :wub:

Did Planet Love ever get through to you?  If not, you are going to have to track down a copy because it's a *great* song.

I have another couple to send you - do you like reggae?  Do you even know what reggae is? LOL  To me, reggae was the beginnings of techno - that's my theory anyway.

Have a fantabulous day Sach.

Love
May

I got that beautiful email for the second time and responded you back when I got it the first time just no attachment of the song planet love. I will have to track it down. I might even know it when I here it. Do I know what raggae is? Funny mummy aren't you. Yeah I would love more songs MotherMay and anyone else.

Sachman

Ps How do I explain how scared I am without swearing. I have just been watching
youtube videos of the show. now I am really scared Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh. what am I doing?
I need help.Can't breathe. :sos:

Hi Sach,

I remembered a little earlier that you said you were doing this for you....please don't be put off by others on youtube and what they do, just remember to go into the dance itself, feel what it does to your body, how it makes it move, the emotions you feel and have lots and lots and lots of fun... :laugh:

I hear imagining everyone naked helps with nerves...although Barishnikov once said "the problem with nude dancing is not everything stops when you do"  (I think it was him anyway).

Smile and keep dancing

Hehehehe - love that quote.  Made me grin and I read it to David who just kept his normal face.  I asked if he'd understood it and he expanded in a non-printable manner.  Yup, he understood.  Perhaps not as amusing to an owner of said equipment than those of us amused by said equipment's antics LOL

Love
May

beautiful brother, I am so glad that you understood what I said about your Grandmother, I truely beleive with all my heart what I said to you.
Lovely to see you back posting..we missed (even after 1 day!) your words are just so full of depth and compassion...wise old man you!

Hey I love.. Ice Ice baby, such a cool song, makes you feel alive...so have you chosen your music yet??

I am feeling quite tired today, my mind is a bit blank, will write more tonight.

Love ya heaps Bro

Bb
XXX

 rofl

Hey everyone I just had the best time at dinner with sister Swami and Jen. Swami made these awsome choc balls and salad. Jen had raw wraps and some desert like date nute torte. Had lots of fun with Zak too,Swami's kid.

Watermama thankyou so much for the advice.You are so right I will remember this for sure on the day.

Love Sach!

Oh, wish I could have been there...so glad you had a delightful evening. Sounds like you were in Gourmet raw heaven.

Have a lovely day Beautiful bro
BB
XXX

Where is the photos

Hay have you been in a page back in Mays journal yet I am not happy I recon you have rejected me very very very rude you are.

Really I have poped in just to tell you I love you and that you are very special Dance man in my life.

So I love you dearly Sach and I am so upset that you rejected me hehehehehe

Angie

Whaaaat I would never regect love from a you. Have you not read my post in May's journal?

Oh good I cant do the close your eye thing and me give you a big hug like you do so I am not even going to try hehehehe So here is a big (http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/3791/82hz3.gif) and a big (http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/1398/52iu2.gif) to you oh and here's some loving (http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/9624/77xh2.gif)

there I can't do the close your eye thing like you can but i can give you lots of cute loving hehehehe

Love you Sach
Angie

MMMMMM wow how special do I feel?
Thankyou!

Hey Gentle bro

How has your day been?...what have you been up to?

I have had a fantastic day again, lots of exercise and fresh air..hmmm I love nature, Makes me feel so at peace within.

When is the audition..I forgot...this week or next?

So what wise deep thoughtful words do you have for me tonight?...I love how you make me think.

love to you
BB
XXX
 :heart:

Hey little bro.  Hope you've had a good day.  How was the massage and reiki?  Is your ankle feeling sore or was it a postive healing session?

Sorry if I was a little incoherent on the phone today.  I keep thinking it's Friday, so may have been really confusing to you. 

I was going to make you something (food wise) to take with you on Saturday.  Any requests?  Remember I have Alissa's book at the moment so the possibilities are endless!!

Glad you agreed with me about the very gorgeous JoJo...she's a bit of a goddess and I think all your sisters would approve!!

Have a great night beautiful Sach.

Love Sis xxx

hmmm, I wonder what the gorgeous JoJo thinks of us talking about her like this??

Oh Sacha is your audition this Saturday? WOW that had come around fast...let sister Swami make you something special to take...I cant wait to hear how things went...

Your new family will be there with you..the spirit of love...

Love ya
BB
XXX

I hope JoJo doesn't mind because she truly is stunning isn't she?

I think I was right a while ago Sach when I said this is it - the forum being a dating site too LOL.

And look at your karma points.  They're off the planet for the number of posts you've made.  Laughing with delight because you've deserved every single one several times over.  You are so loving and amazing that we can't help but adore you back.

Heaps of love
May

I have to say to you all that support me and send messages of love, I really love you all. Your posts leave heartprints on me daily and not just here in my journal.

Today was a busy day. First the massage and reiki then work. Wished it was the other way round. The massage was great. My calf muscles were extremely tight after dancing so much yesturday. So it was great get loosened up. My remedial massage therapist has magic hands. Might have get the whole body massaged soon not just the feet and leg of the problem areas. She was asking me all about my dancing and the Raw lifestyle.

Today and tomorrow has been and is going to be tough because I having some fulldays. Which is scary because I would like to be doing more dancing. I have narrowed down some songs to choose from which I would of liked to have chosen them by now. So I will finalise that tomorrow night. I have been wondering what to wear too. I was thinking something simple like what I was wear to dance classes earlier this year.Thats some knee length gym shorts and a top. Or something a bit fancy like nice black pants and a black long sleeve shirt. I want something that will not take away from the impact of each move I  do.

Thankyou all for your support. I will be thinking of you all before I go in. This will be one of the most scary things I will have ever done. I know all my courage and bravery will have to shine on Saturday.
I also want to Thankyou you all for those Karma Points. I have not said anything in the past about them so thankyou. I have been blown away by them for some time. Really touching.

I am going to give JoJo one of my special Hugs that have become popular sometime soon when she starts in her journal again. My sisters BB,Emi and Swami and Mother May can tell you about them. I hope I haven't caused any unwanted attention JoJo.

Love Sacha

ps 2 sleeps to go.

I think you should wear some hot pants!  Or I think Mummy-May will have some ideas for you!!   :ohyeah:

xxx

...or a kilt, with something sexy underneath!!! :P %)

 Yeah and I think you should dance in the rain naked when there is thunder.lol rofl

Knee length what ???  Oh no, there goes the planet!!!  Knee length and shorts do not belong in the same sentence, there's no such thing.  Shorts are.... yes! short!!!

Definitely the black trousers, and if they're a bit huggy even better.

Scottish guys at Highland dances wear white, frilly undies under their kilts.  I've seen them.  I think they used the naked approach when they were at war.  I can see a couple of reasons for that being handy.

Love
May

I like the black pants idea if I do I will get Jen take a photo for you all when I see her that night. Which I think is still happening.
What are you talking about Mother May? knee length shorts are the same as board shorts.

Board shorts are not shorts either LOL  These are shorts...

(http://i194.photobucket.com/albums/z33/yamlwoz/IMG_4647a.jpg)

I can see legs in these!!!

This was David aged about 42 kwor!!!

Love
May

David could of had those legs on a cat walk. lol Those shorts are great for working in the great out doors but that it. I think anyway

Kwor!

May, you shouldn't post pictures of half dressed men with mighty fine bodies when celibate women are looking!!!!

xxx

I will NEVER get used to these knee-length sacks they wear these days.  They're something you'd expect your grandfather to wear, not a lithe young hunk.  Sigh!

Sorry Swami :P

Love
May

(http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/3471/108ie7.gif)

Good luck for tomorrow Sacha I will be thinking of you what time is it though so I can send you lots of possitive vibes your way.

I agree with May the Black pants definately that is what I thought when you mentioned clothes I could ask Pete cause I swear he is gay hehehehe he pointed out a tv personality the other day and just went on and on and on about how awful she looks in what she was wearing. God some men are funny still think he is gay though (you have to know Pete on why I say this I know some men notice things like that and arnt gay).

May please dont put that pic up again I have drooled all over the keyboard. Now Sacha please dont wear shots like that and post a pic cause they will be more then drool on the keyboard hehehehehe.

I like knee length things especiall on Pete's little chicken legs.

this seems like a bashing Pete post doesnt it hehehehehe.

Some more loven your way Sacha (http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/2724/60yf3.gif)

Lots and lots of (http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/7566/118bj6.gif)

Hope you feel special again

Angie

Thanks Angie your message was very cute. Feeling very special. Not sure what time it starts so I will get there early.I will go with the smart atire with the black pants. 'I'll bring sexy back to dancing'.

back tonight
The Sachman

Hi Sacha,

I've not posted before in your thread, but I just thought I'd pop myself in just to wish you the very best.  With all the love you're getting from everybody else, you must be feeling on top of the world, but I thought nonetheless I will still wish you the most joyous and memorable experience to the end......and HAVE A GREAT TIME.  :wub: :thumbup:

Best of Luck.......

Rita :heart:

Morning sunshine!  :heart:

Please please please...DO NOT wear those shorts as mummy May has pointed out...lol UGH  (sorry mummy)

What I like on a dancing man is black dress pants, a hot tight white bonds singlet tucked in and some back braces to give that sexy touch...maybe even a hat?

You would suit that beacuse you have the figure...
Make sure you post some pics of your outfit whatever you chose.

I was speaking to hubby last night about having a holiday in GC...the talk was positive...but we need to find out flight prices for a family of 5 and that will cost big $$$, or I could take a break for myself, but I wouldnt feel right going without my beautiful hubby...we shall see what happens.

Beautiful brother I am so excited for you, I am a little nervous thinking of what it is going to be like...I could jump up and down...feeling like I am the one auditioning..LOL

Hope you have a wonderful day, talk soon

love BB
XXX

Braces ???  Oh Berry, you're beyond hope LOL  And a belt just to be extra sure I suppose %)

However, the white singlet I wouldn't argue over.

Yes please Sach, we all want photos!!!  Hey Angie, that'll be more drool on the keyboard huh?  Mine too.

I showed David Angie and Swami's posts and he said he has considered renting his body out.  I told him (yet again) that Swami is one of my daughters so he said "Oh, I'd better not then cos that would be what do you call it?  Insect?"  He's so funny :P

Love
May

Laughing May.  Yeah, tell your man I don't do insects!!!!

He's a crackup!

BB, I hope you can manifest that holiday with or without your beautiful hubby. 

Sach, I have to agree with the black pants.  I have a thing against white Bonds singlets, just because of a memory attachment to them, but I can see that it would work...or the black shirt.  But then, if you're doing hip-hop, some of the shorts that aren't short could be the go!  Gee, I'm no help!! 

Yes, photos are essential.  I feel terrible as I had offered to drive Sach but just found out I have an AGM that I have to go to tomorrow, so had to withdraw my offer.  I would have taken loads of photos and posted them for all his fans to see!!

xxx

Sacha I know you will have the most incredible blissful time dancing this weekend. You are one of our most cherished lifetime friends and we will be there with you in spirit.

Love and dancing hugs,
Sheryl & Piers

*hugs* *kisses*

Whooo hoooo SACHMAN!!!!!

You are such an inspiration. I was telling my dad about you today and he said how fine it was in life to have a passion. You definitely have that!!!

Love you heaps,
Sheryl (just had to post again)

Hey Sacha, I can't wait to catch up with you tomorrow night. Bring your camera with you because Bill has mine in Melbourne. You'll do so well buddy. I know it.

xoxoxo

Dancing is one of my passions too. I hope you enjoy yourself and I cant wait to hear how you go.

I have just started watching the US version of the show and I love it (one of 3 programs I will watch).

xoxoxo

Oooohhh Kelly you look gorgeous!!!

Go Sach - we'll all be thinking of you tomorrow.

Love and mega hugs,
May

I don't what to say.I am feeling very emotional not sure why. I have tears running down my face. I have so many overwhelming feelings. I am confused by them all. I really don't know what to say. Let me start by acknowledging everyones posts.

Rita thankyou for your well wishes. Having a new soul wishing me love in your post means alot.

Kelly as I said to Rita about having a new soul in my journal. Thankyou! Wow your passion is dance too. Tell me who are your inspirations and what kind of dance? Mother May is right what a pretty face you have.

Evc. Thankyou for your support. I love seeing you your pretty smile in here

To my loving family Mother May, sisters Swami, BB and Emi your love has taken my breath away with all your support since I started this journal and before hand. I love my new family so much. I hope I can be there for you always like you have been there for me since meeting you all on here.

To sweet Jen. I thankyou *pause* Jen you are truly amazing. You have brought me into your world like family. You bring so much joy and love into my world. What a loving giving soul you are.

Sheryl and Piers. My dearest friends. Reading your post is what Started the tears flowing. I cherish our friendship too. Your both never stop amazing me. There is not a thing I wouldn't do for you . I love you both with all my heart.

I am truly blown away by all the love from you all. What a blessing from God. Tomorrow will the most exciting challenge I have ever decided to take on. Tomorrow I will be going head to head with the person I am becoming. My outcome for tomorow will be grow as a human spirit, To appriciate others for there talents, To test my courage though dance and to have fun. Making the cut will be a bonus if or when that happens. I know I will have you all there with me in spirit as well as my mum and grandmother shining down from above. I am feeling better now.Tears have subsided.
Will meet with you Jen tomorrow night and get some photos for you all. This morning as I started my day after listening to some songs. I had this feeling comeover me. I am going to show them how to dance. I am gunna rip there world with attitude. I am going to bring sexy back! Like the song. Bring it on! I am going to take them on....

Love Sachman

Sacha, you are so lovely. The way you are so generous with your kindness and praise. I really admire that about you.

I am so excited for you for living your passion. You have to tell us the minute you get home, so we can hear about how it all went.

Sending lots of grooving energy your way...  

Awwwww Sach... Now I have tears. I have no doubt that you will do your absolute best. You are a winner. And thanks for what you said about me. It was really lovely. I believe that we see things in others that are a direct reflection of what have in ourselves. Look at what you say to others that you notice about them Sacha. Know how amazing, loving and kind you are....

xoxoxo

Dearest Sacha

I felt so moved reading your post with its expression of emotion, love and gratitude. 

I know you will do well tomorrow.  Your success is not something that is measured by whether you get through the auditions or not.  It's about following your passion, having the courage to get out there and do what you love, facing your fears, and believing in yourself and your talent.  In the eyes of all your admirers here, you have already succeeded, no matter what the outcome tomorrow.

I wish you all the best and send you a big hug.

Lots of love from your big sister,    :wub:

swami xxx

Beautiful warm and gentle brother, today is your big day...I am so excited for you, this is your time to shine, your time to show them your passion and sexy moves...give it all you got, imagine it is your new family you are dancing for...we are all seated infront of you, smiling with love in our eyes, you are not allowed to embrace us, you are not allowed to so say a word of affection to any of us, the only way you can show us your love is through your dance, so dance for us, put all your emotion, heart and soul into the dance...radiate your pure heart...as the music begins an overwhelming feeling of warmth enters you...begining from your toes all the way into your chest...into your heart, you can see yourself dancing the moves you have planned before you even begin, your moves are strong and sharp, sexy and smoothe...you are transported as your soul illuminates your passion and love.

The music comes to an end, with heart racing you stop your feet and look towards your family of women...we are all standing with tears in our eyes and smiling faces...we are so proud of you. You look beyond us and see a crowd, they are all clapping and cheering. Through your dance we have been touched.


Love to you...so much

BB
XXX

Sacha I just wanted to write in today to wish you the best for your dancing audition.

I hope you have the best dance of your life,  with all your passion and expression easily flowing, don't hold back.  You'll definitely become the person you are, meeting with the person you will be.  Much love.

Sacha is at my house!!! He has new.... but is knackered so you have to wait!! hahahaha

xoxoxo

oh...Sacha...talk  to me...how did you go...PLease  LOL

Hey Sis...I know what the news is!!!!!


He he he!!!!!


xxxxx

Well it must be good news or you'd all be sobbing into your GS, so come on, out with it...

Love
Mummy May - aren't mummies supposed to be told first? ;)

you guys are teasing, I know he got through!  I know it, cos I beleive in my little bro!

Whats happening girls? Did he get in? Its so exciting.. :ohyeah: :ohyeah:

Hi Mummy May,

Of course I tell you first. I got in!!!

Love your favourite son....

Oh, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo exciting!!!!!!  Thank you for letting us know.  Are you totally pooped out, or has your energy come back now?

Yes please, as EVC said - we want to know EVERYthing!!!!

Congratulations - none of us doubted you for a second, this is fantastic.  So I'm going to see my wonderful son on television :yahh: :ohyeah:

Love and huge hugs
May

Hi everyone,

I got in! I am so excited, I'm beside myself, I'll tell you everything later. I am in need of rest and cannot get my thoughts straight for you. I will have a rest and write the rest later. Thanks everyone for all your love and support.

Love Sachman

My dear darling brother...how proud I am of you...I KNEW you could do it...I felt it.

please tell us soon what happened, I need something to smile about, cant wait to see you on tv..wow, this is so exciting, I love you heaps.

BB
XXX

Swami and I just saw Sach dance.... yeeee har!

xoxoxox

Yaaaaay!!!  Congratulations Sach!!!!!

I'm so excited for you :-)  This is great news.

Oh, thats not fair Jen  :(...I shall go and cry now!

Oh Berry, I will fly to Adelaide and blow your nose for you! (He's even hotter when he's dancin')

xoxoxo

lol...I dont care if he's hot or not...I got a man...I just love Sacha for his beauty and wisdom, pure heart...he's a one in a trillion find...

And stop teasing...LOL

Now this is NOT fair!!!  Pooped as he was, you made him perform?  Or did he come away with a video?  Or....

Nobody's tellin' us anything!!!!! Waaahhhhh :`(

Love
May

Mummy May....tis not fair is it...i think we should be naughty and and do something to his journal for keeping us...HIS FAMILY in the dark...LOL

Hehe girls: patience.... virtue.... something along those lines :)

I can't wait to see him on TV!!

WOW!!! That's so exciting! I'm so happy for you Sacha - WELL DONE!

xoxoxo

Congrats Sachman! Can't wait to hear all the details too.
Hugs
OM

Oh Sach, you are amazing!!! I am in queue to hear all the details too!!!

I am in awe of you for following your passion and living your dream. Whatever the outcome was, you took the chance and that is something to be very proud of. And the fact that you're IN, just makes it fabulous!!!

Love to you!  

Sach, gorgeous, beautiful and very sexy brother...I know I've already said so in person, but congratulations!!  I'm so proud of you!  Thank you for your 10 second dance...I can see why you got through to the next auditions...ooh la la!!!

Maybe see you in the morning, but I'm not convinced we'll make it bright and early.  I think a bit of extra sleep in necessary for this little family.

Take care and see you so