Raw Food Forums

I'm at a new stage in my life, after a few challenges this year, to reallly reflect on who I am and where I am heading in my life.  High time I started a journal, new year, new energies, new me.

One of my lessons right now is acceptance, at where I am in my raw journey, and more importantly, my life.

The universe threw me a curve ball this time last week, and it made me realilse all the things I am grateful for.  My family, friends, health, healing/living space, and the support I have from my guides, angels, etc.

And of course this forum, I love the energy that is created here, it makes me feel part of a warm, global, loving family.    :thumbup:

And everywhere I turn I am reminded that I must have a high level of health to reach the next stage in my journey, and the only way I can do that is to eat raw foods.  I've tried most things over the last 10 years, and nothing even comes close to the feeling I have when I eat raw.  My spirit soars  :ohyeah:, much like the way I feel when I do a firetwirling performance - without burning my hair  :laugh:

So this year my days will be full of more of the following ~  love, laughter, drumming, cycling, running, yoga, belly dancing, "way out hippy dancing" LOL, pilates, surfing, stopping to smell the roses (that I buy for myself of course), bigger fire twirling toys (bigger wicks means bigger fire, yikes!), a deeper connection to my spirituality, a brand new figure with less wobbly bits, and lots and lots of delicious raw food to nourish my body and soul.   

So look out world, here I come to show you how beautiful, healthy and (R)AWESOME I can be :yahh:

Hi Sanghama, I love how involved with things you are. You are so active! I am looking forward to meeting you. Are you coming to the picnic next Saturday? Maybe you could bring along your fire gear... do a show! But only if you are comfy. It will be in a public place but you could show some stuff without lighting them?

Looking forward to meeting your non-singed head!

xoxoox

Jen,
I've missed a lot since my internet has been playing up.  What picnic, when????

It's okay, I found it.  See you at 2pm then :yahh:

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Although, I tell you, if it is still raining the way it is now I think I will have to cancel it. Even the birds are coming under our decking for shelter... and all these people here for holidays. Sheesh.

xxoxoxox

Jen,
lets hope it fines up then.  I live up the road from there, so everyone can rock up to my place if you like.
I have some practice fire twirling gear I can bring along, if anyone is up for a lesson....hmmm?

Kwor! I am.... I've been told I'm firey... mebbe I'll be a natural!

xoxoox

Very funny Jen, you should do stand up comedy  :laugh:

Goodluck on your journey Sanghama, as Jen said you are very active!  I like to watch firetwirling but have never done it myself, more because I dislike the smell of kero than that I would probably set my fuzzy hair on fire.

Thanks Gina, actually I don't like kero either, we use something like lighter fluid which doesn't smell much.
You can get fire toys that glow, so no burnt hair :laugh:.  I have some and use them when it is raining like it is now.  Very safe and pretty too.

I suppose I do sound active, just my nature I suppose.  I spent nearly half my life being supressed that I'm making up for lost time.  I had my first drumming lesson of the year tonight, I've missed it more than I realised.  I was in the zone and could have gone all night.  Sitting squashed between two young good looking guys wasn't a hardship either LOL.  It's fast and tribal and intense, yeah...the drumming, not the men......Could it get any better than that?  Yep, cheap Tuesday at the raw vegan/pizza place at the back.  Am I blessed?  You betcha.

Bellydancing again tomorrow night, I'm really enjoying the company of women and releasing/expressing the Goddess energy.  Tribal yet feminine, and somehow a little secretive.   I can't even start to explain what goes on in that class, except to say that we don't do shoulder shimmys, we have a 'party in our bra'  rofl

Jen, I'll teach you some tricks only if we can do it near the lake, that way if you get too firey I can push you in - only joking (not).  Self preservation is most important,  that and standing well back.  Could be dangerous...what do I mean could??? :snicker:

Jennie, It'll be so nice to finally meet, you be as firey as you like, I can handle it. :wub:

I'm a tired little bunny tonight.  I weeded the garden today, had to do it while the moon was still waning.  Apparently the weeds don't grow back as fast.  It was so nice to see the sun, I'll put it out to the universe to please stay fine until Sunday so we can have our picnic in the park.  I'm so excited to meet other RP people.  :ohyeah:  I even have a girlfriend coming with me who's interested, that's good, so the two of us can bother random  people before we find you all LOL.

Exciting part of the day for me was buying my first large stone buddha to sit in the garden.  Not huge, but extremely heavy.  It's beautiful though, makes me sigh with happiness every time I see it.  I took my son with me, he was even interested, amazing.   :ohyeah:

Yesterday was productive, after the morning zap I went up the mountain to receive a reiki treatment myself, and some spiritual counselling, which I have needed for over a week.  I feel so much stronger within myself, more at ease with where I'm at, much more balanced.  And I won't be learning to surf just yet, as I will be starting an awareness counselling course with my friend.  She totally understood my need to be 100% raw, as I cannot access the higher levels of spirituality and spirit communication without it.  And I'm hoping this course will help me understand my patterns and help me change them.  Another step to a new inproved me, lol. 

After I left my friend's place, the sun came out and there was a big double rainbow in the sky, and I know it sounds like a cliche, but I stopped the car, ran barefoot onto the grass and threw my arms out wide and thanked the universe for the day.  And as I drove down the mountain again, through the rain and cloud, I knew I wasn't alone, and that I was protected.  How blissful. 

But my amazing day didn't end there - on to bellydance class.  I was a bit tired by now, but we learned some new moves and the sounds that go with them....something like oh, oooo, OHHH, oh!!, I tell you, we gave Meg Ryan a run for her money, talk about raw pleasure  rofl.

I'm taking my crystals for a swim tomorrow, make that later this morning.  If you see a crazy lady with crystal laden pantyhose at the beach, that's me.  I'll do it early before the men in white coats get up.  :laugh:

I'd planned today to have an easy day off, then this morning I became suddenly single.  Wow, plans change fast. 
I now have a vastly different future than what I'd imagined, and am still reeling a little from this.

At least I had my first raw picnic to look forward to.  And Jen was such an angel, wisking me away to have a chat and dry my tears.  Thanks also to Berry Bliss and Waterberry for your kind words of wisdom.  Yes we are a family, and I treasure your support.  And Georgia, go well, I'll be thinking of you, and your gorgeous belly.

So much yummy food, and no appetite, what a waste.  This recent life change has made me more comitted to raw food, as I'm the only one to look after me now.    So there'll be occasional tears, and that's okay.  But from now on I'm set on becoming stronger in my core, and my spirit, and know that there is a world of opportunity out there for me.  And hopefully tomorrow I'll feel like eating again, can't buy food at the markets that no-one is going to eat LOL.

On the upside, I bought myself a beautiful drumming stool this morning, at least I can be comfortable when at my drum class, as I expect my behind will become bonier as the weeks go on  :laugh:

It was wonderful to meet you Sanghama. Your wisdom did not go unnoticed either. You are very lovely and dignified. And no wasted food! You may not have had an appetite but the rest of us sure did! LOL. YUmmmmmmm.

Hugs....

xoxoxoxxo

Dignified, hmm, that's a new one.  Must be the new me coming out  :laugh:

Thanks Jen, it was a beautiful day all round, and being at the picnic with you guys really helped me.

I re-read my first post this morning, and realised that the messages I received from spirit yesterday echoed exactly what I had written a week earlier.  Guess I'm ahead of my time huh.

As if I hadn't had enough change in my life this month, today I'm changing bedrooms with my daughter, I need a new clear space for my journey, the old one holds too many memories. 

I see my journey stretched ahead of me like a large lake, and I need to start swimming towards the other side.  And the water is sooooo cold.  So it is my choice if I want to tiptoe in gently, or retreat for a while and think about it, or dive straight in.  And my friends know that I always dive straight in, no time to think, just get on with it.
And guess what, I'm already wearing my togs.  Hang on, *adjusts goggles and waves to curious crowd assembled on the shore* off I go. CYA

I spent the day yesterday getting rid of many possessions, physically delivering them to charities and friends.  My pawpaw tree decided it no longer wanted to be around, and promptly fell over, the ground here being too soggy to sustain its growth.  So in true gung-ho style I attacked the overgrown areas of the garden, which attacked me back  :laugh:  If my garden can hurt me, it can certainly heal me, a nice comfrey poultice will help these battered hands.

Eating a high amount of raw foods certainly helps with my emotional release, I am okay for a few days, and then BAM, I want to push the world away and sob until I run dry.  Last night I wanted to cry every 5 minutes, during my drumming class wouldn't you know.  I waited until I got to the car, and then released all the tears, felt so good.  One interesting thing though, although there were lots of tears, I didn't have a runny nose - must be the lack of dairy in my diet.  That means I have the freedom to cry any time, anywhere, without wondering if I have a hanky.  It may seem like a small thing, but I'm really excited about that - another benefit of going raw. 

I'm a little down emotionally, and have a free day since my feng shui consultation has been postponed to next week (and the house is all clean), so I'm watching the movie "Chocolat" one of my favourite 'chic flicks'.  Then off for a swim and a sunbake, and lie around on the grass all afternoon, meditating in my new sacred space with my new buddha, wow....who is blessed?   You work it out :ohyeah:. 

The abundance has already started to flow with my business, so here's to a joyful, vibrant and abundant life, for all of us.   Mwah.

60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS)

As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her! .. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Andy Rooney is a really smart guy!   

Since I last posted I have had my back done - I'm still not quite sure what this guy does, but he does it well.  I have had scoliosis since childhood, and now after my second treatment my spine is straight.  And I know the emotional cause of it.  There was soooo much pain and suffering in my teenage years, and now there are feelings of grief, frustration and anger, so much anger directed at my parents, the doctors, the specialists who bombarded me with hundreds of xrays and beliefs about my body.......so painful to go through again now, but after a few days I'm coming out the other side of it.  I know these people thought they were doing the best they could, and now I feel ready to forgive them. 

I was fortunate to attend an Australian Bush Flower Essence workshop on Sunday with Ian White, the creator of these essences.  What a beautiful energy and teaching style this man has.  The workshop was 'Wellbeing for Women', and as a woman, working with women, I found it extremely powerful and encouraging.  There are so many simple treatments for all the different aspects of a woman's life, and I love connecting with others on this path.   :yahh: 

And I am now ready to have the mercury fillings removed from my teeth, another huge emotional and physical cleanse ~ bring it on.  ;)  There is a great dentist here who I know will look after my wellbeing.

I had a dream the other night that I was running, and I was so bad at it.  Then in my dream I stopped, took a deep breath and leant forward from the ankles, and started running smoothly - chi running in my dream.....is my subconscious trying to tell me something?  You betcha  heehee. 

Sanghama you are so beautiful. You have a gentleness and a quiet strength that is evident in anyone who meets you. I love how you are facing things head on although it must seem a trial at times yes? Big hugs for you....

xoxoox

Hey Jen thanks for stopping by, you know you wouldn't be able to see those qualities in me unless you have them in yourself.   :heart:

I'm a a place of quiet reflection this morning, and the fact that I'm fasting atm may have something to do with it.  The first two visits I had for my back brought out a lot of anger, a LOT.  Especially after Monday's visit, it came out on Tuesday afternoon and was all directed at my recent ex partner.  Boy was he lucky that he was out of town ROFL.  I went to my drumming class and belted my poor drum so hard my arms still ache.  Ouch. 

That left me clear for Wednesday which was my feng shui day, and we blessed and cleansed and I put my intentions into the clear space that was my home.  I love the syncronicity of it all, how the universe times everything so perfectly if you just let it. 

When I had my back appt last night, I released lots of emotions, but what was released was the tightness in my hip.  Steve told me that I had been covering that with my supressed anger, and now that anger isn't there I can really find my true self, my true being that I have been hiding all these years. 

I realised that I was still holding onto my ex in some way, and when I let go of that on Wednesday, I fully realised that there is something much better out there for me - everyone told me that, but I had to believe it for myself.  So yesterday was the first day I felt fully free, totally in my own power, and boy did my aura show it.  Everyone I saw, both old and new friends told me how great I looked, and I did.  And I have decided to fast on water and the occasional juice, no structure with this, just listen to my body and go with the flow. 

Today I feel like meditating all day, but have to go to work.  At least I have my colonic tonight to look forward to  :laugh:.  Onward and upward - I think clearing is my middle name LOL.

Hi Sanghama, that is awesome. Steve is a profound healer isn't he? I've had some amazing releases in there also. Karen, his wife is beautiful also. We are supposed to be meeting today for a business lunch but Cailtyn, Bill and I still have live nits in our hair. For the first time ever I feel like shaving my head. It's getting me down....

xoxoxxo

Wow I just read your complete journal and you have been through quite a lot Sanghama.

I think you are doing amazing and just wanted to say "hi"

Light & love

* eve *

Thanks Jen, yeah Steve is so good, words cannot express what I feel atm, to find someone that works with so much insightful clarity, he knows exactly what is going on with me, and with everyone, at that precise moment.  We are so lucky to be drawn to him and his energy.  He is a catalyst to help us realise our full potential, and I am so grateful for that.

Eve, beautiful Eve, thanks so much for your encouragement, :-*  I feel like  know I have so much support from this forum, I can deal with these changes more easily because of my raw food.  Your words made me cry, but it's a happy relaxed cry (if that makes any sense).  These changes were necessary and I am now more connected to my spirituality, my femininity, my being. 

I have some writing to do over the weekend for my business, which I have put off for a while.  I'm going to buy a cheap colourful lounger from Bunnings, and lie out in the shade by the pool with all the divas and nature spirits tomorrow and write, and the inspiration will come from a deeper, more calm space than ever before.  I realised today that by freeing up the energy in my hip, that now I am able to step forward physically (right hip/leg) in the world, that there is nothing holding me back.  Scary and exciting at the same time.  :ohyeah:   

wow you say some amazing things! I guess you won't be at my house tomorrow afternoon then?  :( Did I forget to put you on the events list? Sheesh..... There's a pot luck at my place tomorrow. If you want to come let me know and I'll email you my address. Much apologeticness to you.

If you have received my email and decided to stay at home and work, well I understand that also!

xoxoxo

Hmmmmm........an email from Jennie........now how could I forget that?
*goes to inbox to check*    :uhuh:   No my darling, nothing there from you.  Guess I'm not in the inner circle yet  :laugh:      And I was gonna get you firetwirling too, oh well, you're safe until next time heehee.

Jen I think you're amazing with what do you, don't sweat it, I'm having my own potluck here this afternoon - whatever I can find coz I haven't been shopping. 

This weekend is a pretty important time for me, and my guides are calling me to get back into it.  My kids are so intuitive (even though they don't know it yet) they have all left the house for the weekend, giving me the space I need to create.
Have fun and don't get blown away. 
Big hugs to everyone   ((((((((())))))))) 

Our two pet rats died today.  I thought I was over my present challenges and now this.
Right now I feel devistated, and wonder if I'll ever stop crying.  :(

It's times like these I want a man around to help me, but I can do this on my own, it will be very sad, but I know I can cope.  Like the song says "I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman"

Their real mummy is my daughter who is away for the weekend for a concert, telling her will be the hardest part. 

They had a good life and were well loved, and will continue to be. 
 o:) o:) :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Oh my goodness. Two in one day. No wonder you are devastated. Was it the heat? It was such a hot hot day here.

Thinking of you....

Hugs

xxoxoxoxo

It was very hot here today, and I guess it was too much for them, they just went to sleep and never woke up.  Lots of water for them, huge cage, lots of fresh air and a good breeze, in the shade, plenty of food - they had everything and yet I still feel it was somehow my fault.  Probably the single mother thing, trying to keep everything together.

I still want  a man who will put his arms around me and hold me tight, and tell me everything is going to be alright.  I want that strength and comfort right now, and realilse that it must come from me first, that if I crave something I need to find it in myself, and only then can accept if from someone else.  So I'm feeling a little better now, crying has abated for the moment and I have found that strength and comfort within me. 

The universe has set it up so perfectly for me to learn this lesson.  I really feel like this was meant to be, the energy in the house has changed so much this week, and their little souls felt the need to go.  My ex is an animal communicator. and would often tell me the spiritual meaning for an animal's passing.  So I understand this one, and thank my little friends for their assistance in my journey, and my children's journey too. 

I was chatting to a friend in the UK, and remembered that this is the Chinese year of the earth rat, and got upset when I realised that my rats would soon go back to the earth.  We chatted for a while and he asked me if my rats were indeed Chinese, and if they wore little pointy hats lol.  So I'll think of them with little hats on, such a cute thought.   

I'm releasing physically and emotionally atm, and am thinking of starting my juice feast tomorrow instead of March 1st.  So I'm off to the organic markets early in the morning.  I'm feeling spirit around me now, am not tired but will go and meditate/relax/sleep and receive what is coming through.  My body is ready to go to the next level of health and spirituality, and I must be able to give it the nutrition it needs.

And thank you Jen for your hugs, much appreciated.  Thinking of you too, and thanks for tempting me with your food pictures when I have decided to juice fast - hope it tasted as good as it looked.  Now I know the benchmark for your potlucks  :laugh:.  Will have to pull my socks up in that area before the next one.  Am I on your VIP list now? 

I feel much calmer (karma) now, found some almond milk in the freezer, so had a warm cacao drink with extra agave, so grounding.  My version of hot sweet tea, yum.

After only a few hours sleep I'm up and about again, and getting ready to go to the market.  My tummy still feels sore, but will go and come back again so quickly it'll be okay. 

I'm not sure how long I will juice for ~ my body is pretty good at giving me messages so I'm sure it will tell me LOL.  My last NES scan told me I need B3 this month, so lots of green juices should take care of that.  My juicing will be intuitive, not so planned as it has been in the past.  I'm excited about this, I love juicing and my body relaxes on it and thrives, juicing takes all the stress out of meal planning.  I'm interested to see how my back treatments will go this week, and how much more I can release. 

I was going to Burleigh tonight for the drumming, but may go early instead as there is a meeting about the future of the drumming and fire circle, then it'll be off to bed for this little black duck, quack quack.   :yawn:

You know, one of my friends once said that 'you don't know guilt until you are a mother' and it's so true. We beat ourselves up for no reason. Sacha has been amazed at some of the things he has heard about how I get down on myself for everything.

How did your daughter take it?

I am glad that you are feeling better today. I was intending to go to the drumming tonight but I haven't slept through the night for over a month and it's beginning to take it's toll. I recall this happening at around the same time last year. I'll be sleeping through again soon. It's that time of the year! No drumming tonight. I have promised Bill that lights will be out at 9.30. I intend to follow through this week.

Enjoy your juice feasting. I'm sure you will have fantastic results.

xoxoxo

Thanks Jen,
I spoke to my daughter this afternoon, she was upset but okay, and no way did she blame me. 

I didn't do any juice feasting today, after realising it is suggested we drink 1 litre of juice each time.  I didn't feel hungry, and fasted on water all day instead.  This serves me better when there is emotional turmoil going on.  Maybe tomorrow. 

And I'm sure I'll have fantastic results too, thanks.

Hi Sanghama,

Hope you are feeling better soon, I'm sure you'll have fantastic results too!

Warmly,
Nic

Hi Nic,

thanks for your encouragement.  Still on my water fast so far, can't think about food yet as more emotional stuff came up yesterday evening.  Sheesh, I bought all this wonderful organic food from the markets yesterday and no desire to eat it.   :shrug:
 
Maybe I'm creating this emotional/physical stuff so I don't start my juice feast, and therefore have the fantastic results...............mmmm probably scared of the changes that will come.   :huh:

Okay, okay, lets change the song then:"I am strong, I have a Champion, I am juicing" 

*Runs away to create a watermelon cucumber juice*

lol

I haven't started my juice feast yet, probabaly start the begining of March.


Are you still taking belly dancing classes?  I had my first class a couple of weeks ago, enjoyed it but must say I am definitately not a natural, I think it would be fair to say I'm pretty comical to watch.  Oh well I'll keep on working at it :)

Read in your journal you were having your mecury fillings removed, how'd that go?  I have an appointment about Easter time with Holistic Dentistry in Brisbane to see if I can have mine removed also.  Bit of a wait to get in, thinking they must be good then.

Haven't had my teeth done yet, have to wait 2 months to get in, but have made all my appointments for late April at Mermaid Beach.  And I know this guy's good.

Still belly dancing, it feels good to me, but I'm glad there are no mirrors there, don't want to watch myself cause I'm probably pretty comical too.   For me it's more about the femiminity and opening myself up to that more.  And the female solidarity, lol.

Shimmy on sister ~ I mean sisters  :laugh:

I want to shimmy like this  :laugh:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygctbqBijFk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygctbqBijFk)

Hey Sanghama, How was the melon/cuke juice? I had to larf at that! Tee hee.

Are you seeing John Sotis? That man is a dentistry God. I have never heard a bad report about him and I know plenty who have seen him. We took our daughter there a few months ago and even Bill was impressed... and he is not a fan of dentists!

xxoxox

Yeah Jen I'm seeing John.  Didn't actually juice yesterday, went to the juicer and thought naw, not yet.  So today is my first juice feasting day, and am drinking watermelon cucumber juice as I type.  Not too bad, but juiced the rind for the first time, made it a little bitter (added a squeeze of lemon, much better).  Pineapple and celery juice for brekky was divine, I'm having more of that tomorrow. Yummmm.  Am powering through the day, so much clarity and energy, I won't stop until 10pm tonight, then it's off home to bed. :laugh:

Went to the gym for the first time in about 15 years, and had a personal trainer push encourage me, it makes a big difference to have that support through a workout.  And when I went to see Steve yesterday he had me do an SRI treatment with Julie.  Breathwork is so amazingly simple, and yet so effective, my posture and attitude changed dramatically during that visit.  When I left I felt so free I actually wanted to run.   I'm getting used to having a body that feels like a well oiled machine, no aches & pains or tension anywhere.  So this is what freedom feels like. Whoopee.

My trainer gave me a lecture about having lots of protein in the diet ~ I just nodded and smiled sweetly (well, he was cute) and will tell him in a few weeks about the juicing.  I already told him about the raw food.  I figure if he can see the results I'll be betting he will take more notice of the information. 

Nic, I want to shimmy like that too.  Do you recon if we practice every day we can be like that too? lol

Today I'm feeling brilliant. I think I've juiced everything in the place, am off to the markets soon to replenish my fridge, poor thing looks so empty today.

I'm getting used to juicing heaps, I now have a few s/s flasks that I carry with me when I'm out for the full day. 

Yesterday was my first day of my counselling course, counselling with awareness.  We do the regular stuff, but add in love, meditation and dance.  It's so much fun to turn up and instead of going straight for the theory, we dance around to clear and ground ourselves.   :ohyeah:

Then after an amazing day being in that energy, I went to the raw cafe and did my first public drumming performance.  We are creating a community garden, and last night was the opening!  Not many people turned up, but whoever did had a blast.  I caught up with a lot of friends, had heaps of fun, and got told I look fabulous....a good night all round  :laugh:   And these people understand about juice feasting, even better.  I'd get my drum out now, but it's 5.30am and time to go to the market before all the other raw foodies get there and buy all the food.

Awesome girl! I'm glad you are feeling so great. I'm about to go to market now. Had a sleep in this morning and it was so nice. I'd love to be one of those who just awakens naturally nice and early. Ideally I would like to sleep five hours per night.... 9.30- 2.30.

How great would that be! I'd get so much done... awesome.

Enjoy your day!

xoxoxox

Thanks Jen, going outside for a snooze now.  I'm having a day off paid work tomorrow, so will have to get my own work done in the next two days.  Hmmm  Rest, Juice, Work....and Play of course.  No wonder I'm waisting away, lol.

I realised this morning that one of the stall holders at the organic market, apart from being a friend of a friend, is in my counselling course.  And she can get some holy basil seeds for me.   Now to plant my own precious few sprigs of holy basil, my sacred space is becoming more special all the time. 

Hope you had fun at the markets and beach. You'll have to let us know where you'll be running next week, I'll be there to watch you.   :cmon:

Aaaaaargh my day was one big bla! I didn't get to the markets at all. I didn't get the work done that I was going to do yesterday morning and then this morning (still working) and I'm feeling eeeeeeeek! Stressed out. I'm glad I have an appointment with Steve tomorrow. I need the time out!

Would you come all the way there to watch me run? Geez you're nice! next week is picnic week! Yaaaaaaaaaaay! On Saturday same time same place. It will be awesome. I have another picnic location too. I was there yesterday with some friends and it is gorgeous. There is no park but there is a koala place nearby and loads of trees, bushwalks, a big oval.

All the guys played cricket and the women chatted and had a great time. The kids did both. It worked really well.

Holy basil? You know a lot.

xoxoxo

Holy or Sacred Basil, it helps to get rid of negativity.  Apparently Deepak Chopra has a walking track at his property that has this basil planted either side of the track, all the way along. 

I'm seeing Steve tomorrow too, have cut my visits down to once a week.  And Julie too, saw her at the markets this morning.  No hiding from anyone there lol. 

I sunbathed for a while this afternoon, and dozed off for 5 minutes, and the scary thing was, I was thinking of you Jennie when I woke.  :shrug:  I was thinking as I lay there about running and picnics, etc.  You have a strong presence invading my dreams like that  :laugh:

Juicing today consisted of 1.5 litres of pineapple and some green plant juice, can't remember what it was, just that it was green and was lovingly shoved into the juicer.  That was at 8am, and didn't feel like another juice all day, have just had lots of water.  I have found it harder to juice while being at home during the day, too many temptations.  I resisted them all, but when I'm out I have my juice already prepared.  Maybe I was too tired/lazy to actually do the juicing. Tomorrow is another day, and I'm busy working, so no time for solid food thoughts.

Well you know there are worse people who could invade your dreams! LOL. Perhaps I was just there protecting you. Gosh I hope they were good thoughts! LOL.

I am juice fasting today. Starting out with wheatgrass, celery and apple. My tummy is so bloated. I think it needs a few days rest from foods. But I need energy to keep going so a juice fast it is!

I'm having a couple of litres of water this morning first. What about you. What are you having?

xoxoxxo

Pineapple and spinich - on my third glass as I type.  I really needed that rest day yesterday, I feel balanced and calm today, and I got into my "skinny jeans" this morning.  Yeah!  I don't own any scales, but my figure is looking gooooood.

You're always welcome in my dreams, feel free to pop in whenever you like ;)

And speaking of popping in, I'm having an 'open house' birthday party in a few weeks, and if people feel like it they can drop by and chill, have a swim, a juice and a laugh and maybe a dance or two.  It'll be going all day and night,
maybe even all weekend.  I'll talk to you about it later.

You and your tummy will be feeling better in no time   :thumbup:

I went to drumming last night, feeling a little lightheaded after not having much juice during the day, and who do I see but Rabbit and her whole family at the raw vegan cafe inside.  All looking so bright and healthy.  Saturday will be more relaxed this time around  LOL.

I have another drumming performance later this month at Threeworlds.  My teacher said that last weekend my drumming was solid, which is good.  Next week there's a chance I'll get to play one of the dun duns - big noisy drums, you can bash them with sticks and not hurt your hands - yeah.  Looks like fun, no hiding in the big group in that case, and everyone can hear if you make a mistake.  And you get to stand up and dance at the same time.  :yahh:

Off to peruse the fridge for more juice making ingredients, maybe I'll have a dance with it while I'm there........Sach, any pointers    :laugh:

 I just pretend the fridge is a gorgeous women flowing her body to the music.LOL :laugh:

Okaaaay, is that with the door open or closed?

 Well I guess it depends if your fridge is in a frame or is standing alone so you can dance either side of it. LOL

Thanks Sach, now having naughty thoughts about my fridge, better go before the men in white coats arrive.

Actually a tall well built man in a white coat could look rather like a fridge   :uhuh   no, maybe not LOL.  Food for thought though.

I had a scary moment this morning - I was standing in the bathroom with comb and scissors in my hand when I realised I was in a dark and desperate place, and decided to make an emergency call for help. 40 minutes later I'm sitting in the hairdresser's chair with a new look.   :yahh:  "Forgive me Wayne for I have sinned, it's been 3 months since my last visit"

We had a nice relaxed chat about the complexities of life, and I feel much lighter.  He's so good, doesn't wash my hair or want to put product on it, and recognises that I'm not the highly groomed type :) (that's obvious)

New moon this morning, so I have to go make my 'wishes' for the month.  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and I have a raw picnic in a few hours - bliss.  What else do I need right now? Hmmmmmm.............I'll get back to that.

OMG! You ratbag... I read the first sentence and my tummy dropped! LOL. I like your humour. Looking forward to seeing you this afternoon.

xoxoxo

My hairdresser looked at me with a straight face and told me he would report me to the Queensland Hairdressing Association if I ever did that again  LOL

Sorry Jen, didn't mean to scare you   :-*

HOURS LATER....

Well you look fab anyhow!

xoxoxo

You're so sweet, you ALWAYS look fab.
Thanks

Oh that is nice but not true. I looked like six different kinds of errrr, garbage when I crossed the finish line today! LOL.

xoxoxox

Now Jen, THAT is not true, I've seen the photos  :laugh:  You were glowing 

I was very happy! I was also as red as a tomato! LOL. Deige is now calling me Roma. I don't mind at all! Tee hee.

xoxoxo

Hello beautiful Sanghama, was so nice to sit and chat with you in the shade of a beautiful tree that day at the picnic....great to see you have a journal...how is the spiritual journey going?

Love to you...and peace

BB
XXX

Hey Beautiful Sweet BerryBliss, I'm wonderful.  Will come visit your journal soon, xoxoxoxox

I've been doing a lot since I saw you, and had another breakthrough today.  I realised how I've been giving my power away to people since I was young, first to my mother, then to my ex-husband, then to my employers, and finally to my recent ex.  I was the passive one in the relationship with my mother, and I have re-created that situation all through my life. 

I always thought my current boss reminded me of my mum - I thought it was an age/star sign thing.  But I realised today that it is because I had a similar relationship with both of them, but I did learn to stand up to my boss and become quite strong.  And they have a similar amount of positive energy (or lack of it). 

This is a time for me to heal emotionally, and I am more sensitive during this time.  I have realised that for my wellbeing I must surround myself with positive people, and spend much more time communing with nature.  I am trying to avoid shopping centres, and only want to go there in the early mornings if I have to.  The same with my parents' nursing home, only visit in the mornings, protect myself well and get out when I feel affected by the dense energy (then go straight out and hug a tree, seriously lol). 

I've felt presurred lately to do my website, make product, do treatments, etc etc - and all I want to do is nothing, just be by myself.  So as of tonight I'm letting them know where I stand, and if they don't like it then tough.  I have to look after No.1 right now, and it feels good to be more in my power.  I thought I had a bad day (judgement) on Sunday - I went for a run at 5am and ran for 1km before stopping - that's awesome for me who doesn't run.  I tried to do chi running, but I had NO idea lol.  Then I proceeded to spend the whole day in bed - reading, sleeping, reading some more.  I thought I was lazy, but I was doing what I wanted, and that is the most important thing right now.  So while I 'could' have been working on my current orders, I was working on me....and that's great.

So today's been an important turning point for me, and I feel empowered right now.  I am Aries sun - yeah!

This morning I went to the gym very early, and came home and had a sleep in the sun - beautiful.  And as I lay there caressing the dew on the grass I reflected on my raw journey, and decided that I was not enjoying the juice feasting atm, so I will return to regular raw food.  What a relief. 

Emotionally I want to retreat into my 'cave' and shut most of the world out for a while so I can nurture myself on all levels.  And if that means spend quality healing time with close friends over a slice of raw cheezecake, then so be it.  I didn't feel nurtured on juice - I felt pressured to fit in all the liquid I was 'supposed' to drink in one day.  There are many pressures in my life right now I don't need any more, especially a self imposed one. 

I've opened myself up to my intuition again, and boy is it back with a vengence LOL.  There are certain vibrational energies that are not serving me well, and it is time to let them go....be they thoughts/things/people/foods.......and the time is right now. 

I feel my masculine and feminine energies are more balanced, and I am aware of how I'm to live my life.....how I WILL live my life from today onwards. 

I had an appointment with a Native American healer today, and it was amazing.  I now have certain tools to help me release old emotional stuff, but that was only part of it. 

During the physical healing he dissolved the ovarian cysts I had on both ovaries  :yahh:  this was the reason I had problem periods, and I now know the reasons I developed the cysts in the first place.  My period is due next week, it'll be interesting to see how it changes. 

My digestion has also improved - we muscle tested to make sure, and yeah, I can feel a difference tonight.  I've had this problem my whole life, and if it is fixed then that is a blessing. 

I've noticed lately that my breathing has improved outta sight, that is probably why I can run without puffing a few metres up the road heehee.

Time for a hot bath, my muscles are starting to ache.  Ohhhh...sounds good  :laugh:
My abdomen is a little tender tonight, a little tlc will fix it up.   :heart:

Wow your last 3 were quite deep my love, you are morphing and changing, I can wait to see how you will keep growing and learning as the weeks go one. Yep...definately taking time out for yourself is important...that bath sounds nice. Glad to hear you are listening to your body and returning to raw foods, that is the most important thing to do...listening to our own intuition and doing what feels right within.

Quite interested in the healing you had...can you give more details?

I am loving your growth...and I am here for you ...

Lots of love my sweet

BB
XXX

Hey BB, what can I say.....you're one of a kind.  Thank you.

The healing, where do I start.  When I first got there he scanned my body by closing his eyes and 'seeing' what was happening with my body.  He saw my cysts straight away, told me about my liver and digestion, and let me know in detail what had happened to my uterus - I had a miscarriage some years ago.  He saw all the lumps in my breasts, and my back and hip problems too.

He saw my father and mother, and told me how they appeared to him (they're both still alive), and we talked about how they were when I was young. Coming from that angle if those energies were in my cellular memory, and that is how I've been projecting myself since then, it's no wonder I've attracted the partners I've had, they were emotionally like my dad. 

Then he taught me the tools to change my vibration, to raise the good/god energy in my body so that anything negative would not remain, and how to change my thoughts about certain situations.  I tried it with an upsetting memory, then muscle tested and yeah, it was gone.  So easy.....I have heaps more to work on, and I tried it yesterday with some impatient drivers in peak hour traffic and it worked then too. Woohoo. 

I finally lay on the massage table, and he worked on my back, then on my front.  Did my liver & kidneys (by placing his hands on them, maybe some chanting), then went to my ovaries.  He pressed lightly on them and they were oh so sore......next he pressed down on them one at a time and moved his fingers and that was it.  He then showed me by pressing on them again - I felt nothing.

He told me cysts were easy to do, but the lumps in my breasts weren't ready - I'll need to work on myself for a few weeks - they're a deeper emotional issue and after I do my work they'll be easy to do.  I have benign mammory displasia, which means heaps of non cancerous lumps.......there were many years where I didn't nurture myself, hmmmm some of these things go back 20, 30 even 40 years ago. 

We talked a lot about manifesting too, that basically once you have healed/released all past issues, all the good energy is there for you, and manifesting is easier.  Sounds good to me    :mellow:

Hello beautiful. You are doing so many amazing things. I would love to go and see the man you spoke of. I feel right now that I have become a little 'stuck' in trying to move forward on my own as I have been with my journey and little bells rang when I read your last two posts.

I too have lumps in my breasts. I can't remember if they are the same thing you speak of but they used to really hurt before raw! They have been ok for a long time and shrunk a lot but are still there. I also have problems with my period which I won't go into here but would love to have some answers with.

Congrats on your run. That's awesome. And on knowing when to finish with your juice fast. That was an amazing fast and you should be very pleased with yourself with how well you did.

Well done!

xoxoxxoxo

This may be the last free time I have before the weekend, as I'm going away to an eco retreat for the Easter break.  During the day I'll be away working with lots of lovely people, and the rest of the time I'll be at this special place, spending my time in near solitude with the wildlife. 

Food wise, there is a fridge and tea making facilities, so I'm looking at taking my blender for some green smoothies, making a large dip before I go, and buying heaps of fruit while I'm there. And washing up in the shower - what fun. 

I really need the peaceful energy of this place to recharge and get my 'mojo' back....mmmm, perhaps a massage or two is on the cards.  I really need to spoil myself.  Ahhhhhh, feels good  :heart:

Have the best time ever lovely lady! You look amazing and are on a great path. Keep going. I would love to have lunch or dinner with you one night.

xoxoxo

Yeah, lets do that Jen.  I found the picnic calendar tonight and I think the next potluck dinner is on the same night as my daughter's 21st party.   :huh:

And my teacher is trying to plan our next fire camping trip, and every date he suggests I can't make, either a wedding, chi running, birthday, counselling class, meditation, another birthday - didn't realise I was such a social butterfly LOL.  I really want to go coz it is a great opportunity to get some great performance photos, as well as connecting with a whole bunch of different people. 

I'm really frustrated right now(actually I'm not frustrated, just trying to understand why this has happened at this time), as I can't get my labels to print - I'm hoping I can email them to a print shop in the morning and let them do it, otherwise I'll have to re-format everything.  I'm off to bed to catch some shut-eye, tomorrow's going to be fun.   :laugh:

I spent the most delicious time away this Easter.  The place I stayed at was better than expected.  A private oasis, surrounded by rainforest, illuminated by a full moon.  Beautiful solitude.  I remember getting back into bed after a midnight snack, and getting under the covers was like slipping into a lover's embrace.  Yummy.

It looks like my life may be taking a new turn, there is a lot of love, support, new friends and new work opportunities available to me in a different area atm, so I will go with the flow and see what happens with that. 

I'm still blissed out with the love and compassion from my healing this afternoon with a Tibetan monk - he worked at clearing any negative emotions and thoughts I still had.  "only think positive, only do positive"     

Hey beautiful enlightened one, sounds like you had a beautiful time away...glad to hear you are feeling so peaceful atm, yes go with the flow, this could be a new avenue opening up for you full of spiritual growth and learning.

You can be a little more blissed out with this warm embrace sent from me to you  ((((((((hug)))))))

Have a wonderful day tomorrow.

Love BB
XXXXXXX

Sanghama wow! I cannot believe the similarities we have been having. I too have cysts and have been working on clearing out old emotional baggage. I am going to go to a chi healer in Melbourne soon. I'am now experiencing such constant love and bliss come over me and i am striving to only keep positive energies around me. Im glad you are healing yourself. Heal yourself and you also heal the world i say.
It is amazing this connection we all have. You are a goddess, thankyou for sharing. Love to you.

(http://off1.picsrc.net/images/girly/blessings/blessings4.gif)

Ahhhhhhh, thanks Berry your hugs are so special (of course lol).  I'm so blissed out I'll float into the shower in a mo and get ready for work. 

Rawconnection let me know how you go with your chi healer.  I had my period while I was away, and it was great.  Best one ever!  Being able to embrace this part of my femininity is so empowering, I didn't realise how much I'd been blocking it all these years. 

......of course I am  rofl  Thank you for noticing.  As are you, as are we all.  I was listening to a Future Native CD in the car on my journey and one line has stuck in my mind "She's got the goddess dancing in her soul"  And tonight she'll have the goddess drumming in her soul LOL.

Yes life is full of new possibilities.  Exciting times ahead  :ohyeah:

Hehe it wasnt a coincidence when i said that. I will let you know about chi healing how it goes, am arranging a flight schedule soon to get there. You always have to experience the journey before the destination.  Blessings Goddess!

Gosh I'm so glad that you had a great time away. I often thought of you and how you inspire me when I was away too.Seeing as you can't make the picnic this time around lets do something else. Have you noticed the ice-cream tasting thread? I think it's in the Australia section. That should be a good night. Actually it might be in the raw chat. I can't remember. I'll have to go ahunting!

xoxoxox

Just stumbled across and read your journal Sanga ;-)

Inspiring.

What shines through to me is your strength and determination to push through anything in your way on your path with a smile and a laff. Love the sense of humour. Sometimes we are at our strongest when we feel at our weakest...and bounce back from adversity.

Hope that makes sense.

John

Hey John, gotta be careful where you're walking  :laugh:

Thanks mate, my emotions are rather close to the surface today, your post made me laugh, then cry.....then I re-read it and laughed again - my belly sure is hurting now ;)

Strength and determination - yeah, that's what us Aries girls are all about!!  And I'm wearing red today - so look out   rofl

Last night I was all set for having some friends over today, and yet this morning when I woke, I did not want the company of anyone - except my children.  One part of me was reasoning why I 'should' socialise, and the other part kept going "naw, don't wanna".  So I cancelled and have spent a delightful morning pottering around at home with my son. 

I've just realised that it may be the last day I get to do this, as he is going to his first job interview this afternoon.  Soon I may be facing an 'empty nest' kind of thing, where my kids technically live at home and pay rent but are always in and out and round about.  Wow, exciting stuff. 

I've tried not to judge him, but it is a challange for me when he has no income, and it drains my finances.  From the outside it may look as if he is doing nothing, but he seems to be resting, and recovering from whatever emotional shadows are still with him from the last few years of family upset.  And while I have given him his space to grow and mature, it is me that has been judged from all angles for allowing him to do this, as it is not the 'proper' way for a young man to behave. 

I'm so glad I had the strength and forsight to nurture this soul to this point in time.  It is not my place to choose his path in life.  I have given all my kids a stable, loving upbringing, and trust that they will make the right choices for themselves, when the time is right, with of course lots of loving guidence from me. 

His sisters will be home tonight....lets see if we can get all 3 siblings in the same space at the same time, on a Friday night  LOL  Stranger things have happened :)

Yes choosing when and if you socialise and who with can be good.

I have lived alone (by choice) for long periods of my life and loved it.

Whatever you do or choose not to do though has advantages and disadvantages. Guess it depends on what you do  with your time when alone and who you socialise with when your not alone.

Please take the following with the humour intended sanga ;-)

Someone sent me a poster a while back...with a group of teenagers on it. It reads:

"TEENAGERS

Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents?

<insert pic>

ACT NOW!

   Move out...

       Get a job....

             Pay your own bills....

(Do it while you still know everything).

Sorry if you don't but it made me chuckle.

;-)

John

i miss those days when i knew it all!

Ditto... one of my friends has had a huge wake up call with her teenage son this week. She is shell shocked and so am I since I have known him from a baby...

Sanga, one of my brothers refused to work until his mid 20's and when he did he found the jobs that suited him best. Working in factories watching machines to make sure that they didn't get jammed. He is a night owl and so would get the night shift and paid really well for sitting in a chair for 8 hours watching a piece of equipment!

I've cancelled people too because I needed time out. Most of the time they have been understanding. It's good to be honest. I've also been known to ask people to leave if I need to go to bed or have just said, 'hey you are all having a great time but I am knackered, do you mind if I go to bed?'. Usually by the time I am in bed they have gone, if not they talk to Bill until they are ready to go. Bill doesn't mind, that's when he gets to put a word in! LOL.

Good on you for taking the time. And good on you for allowing your son to grow as he needed to. Some need the discipline of a job and others need to be nurtured that bit longer. Good on you for being so in tuned with him that you could tell the difference.

xoxoxoxox

Thanks Jen, feels wierd to have support regarding my son.   His sisters were kinda shocked that he'd been to an interview - their eyebrows nearly shot off their foreheads LOL.    These teenage boys are an interesting breed....


Les, I vaguely remember those days, that was before kids. Ahhhh, it's all coming back to me now ;)

       rofl

Last year we used to sing Get a haircut and get a real job to the boy, he would smile sweetly and then go back to what he was doing.  No amount of persuasion would shift him until he was ready. 

He dropped his resume in to this place on Wednesday (he was to do it 2 weeks ago) and while he was there one of the workers gave notice - how's that for timing? 

sounds like he is pretty in tune with what he needs. Listening to his intuition and creating the right moments.

My brother (different one) was pushed into getting a job before he was ready and had a terrible time of it. Everything happens for a reason I know but three bosses in a row turned out to be real bullies and he has been different ever since. Not so lighthearted...

It's good that you didn't push him I think.

xoxoxox

He's closer to his hippy mum's ways than he thinks, but don't tell him that.  That would freak him right out. 
Mind you, I used to enjoy freaking the kids out when they were younger  :laugh:

My sister and my teenage neice visited us this month from Phuket, where they've lived for years.  I haven't seen my neice for a few years, and she told her mum when they left that she "liked being near me"  -  how sweet is that.  Out of the mouths of babes... 

That's sad about your brother, how old was he Jen when he  was pushed?

I think he was about 16 or so? I'm not great with dates and stuff so it's not really clear.

Kids are fun to freak out. They can larf about it.

xoxoxox

I realise now what I'd set up for myself over the last few days.  By listening to my intuition and following what my body was telling me to do, I discovered a new depth to my pain. 

I have been alone a lot during my lifetime, and I'm comfortable with that.  But yesterday I admitted to myself that I was lonely, and let that information sit for a bit while I digested it.  I allowed myself the space and the time to realy open up to this new feeling, and it's like I was in the midst of this deep, cold, black ocean......and I finally touched the bottom of this ocean of pain.  And I'm really proud of myself for achieving that.  For now there is only one place to go, and that is to slowly come to the surface, where it is not so dark or so cold. 

Another thing I didn't do was comfort eat...well I had two pieces of raw chezcake lol, but didn't go back to cooked/processed food.  That's a huge step for me, and I did it all by myself.  I previously used cooked foods in similar situations to block my emotions, and then create new emotions - vicious cycle.  This time there was no blocking, oh the relief. 

A dear friend just rang me and reminded me that I have the 'arrow of determination' in my numerology chart (as well as many others).   So now I have been two weeks 100% raw, and have so much inner strength (and determination) to continue on this fabulous journey. 

Gosh you are amazing. Have you read Brandon Bays "The Journey"? If not pop back around here when you are up this way next and take that home.

I'm sorry that you are lonely. I know that it won't be forever. You have a beautiful, giving, warm and loving soul that shines through (Got your tissues yet? LOL) and you will be part of a couple again... I know it.

Give yourself a big pat on the back. You are sailing through this with so much dignity...

xoxoxox

Very funny! :laugh:

Actually didn't need the tissues when I read that - whoa....is this really me talking?    And I'm okay, on Saturday night nearly everyone that came in after our drumming was a couple.  I realised my lonliness even more when I came home to an empty house, two nights in a row.  These kids of mine are really in tune with my stuff, they are always absent when I need my space.  Even if I don't want any space, they give it LOL.

It's okay to feel lonely, the feeling's not as intense as it was.  And I'm enjoying the time I am single, totally free and easy.  I can be as selfish as I like atm, without having to consider the feelings of a partner.  Plenty of time for that couples stuff later, although I do miss the kisses, cuddles and all that jazz. :kissnblush:

Last night I had a dream where I was at the gym and this guy just leaned over and kissed me...during the middle of a workout.....mmmm it was goood.   I'll go to gym tomorrow anyway, but this guy is married and lives in another state.  Damn.   :-*

Another book???  I'll never get any sleep, I went to bed at 8:30 and was awake at 3:00 reading one of your books.   :snicker:
Thanks, you're so generous.  I'll let you know when I'm ready for it.

Something has definately shifted in my outlook because I went to my fire twirling lesson as usual, and instead of catching up on all the goss and not doing much training, I actually got down to business and mastered a new trick.   :yahh:   
I haven't been serious about twirling this year - up until now.

And my drumming felt kind of surreal, I couldn't put a foot (or hand) wrong.  Even with only two hours sleep and a full day's work behind me. I drummed a bit harder than usual, as I could feel the vibration affecting my emotions.  I could have easily cried during the lesson, but didn't want to scare the new students LOL.

I feel more in tune with the universe.  Over the weekend I was waking up really early, and one morning I was sitting in the lounge room at 4am, and I felt a change in the energy - like the new prana was coming in for the start of a new day.  It was like a ripple moving through the house, I could almost see it but definately felt it.  The next day it happened again, about 2:30am.  The air feels cleaner and lighter and fresher  :mellow:

I met a new friend last night, and had a really good chat over dinner with an old friend.  It's interesting how our lives are changing so much, and the different directions we are travelling in.  I kept my emotions in check until I sat down with my raw dinner.  Then I cried, talked, cried some more, laughed and talked until really late.  And rediscovered the pleasure of eating salad with my fingers.  I felt like a kid again.   :laugh:

I feel as if I have been meditating non stop for days, and can identify really strongly with the surfer turtle in 'Finding Nemo'....totally awesome dude (you gotta get the accent right though LOL).  Just chillin' atm, just chillin'.

Still going strong on 100% raw.  I slept half of yesterday, what a great way to spend a day off.  I'm back into Terry Pratchett books again, so I have Chi Running, Anastasia, one of TP books and a book on buddhism on my bedside table.  No wonder I'm not sleeping enough, need to move those books away from me and turn out the light much earlier.  Plenty of time for reading in the morning. 

 I'm so happy 'being', this is such a wonderful feeling.  Blissed out, in a great place with amazing food and the best people.  I even looked at cooked food last night, and had no desire at all to eat it.  Instead I found my really raw cashews and had a few handfulls of them before bedtime.  Peace out man   :heart:  :ph34r:

Duuuuuuuude! It sounds like you are like, totally in the zone man!

I love that turtle. He was the awesomest part of nemo to me. Nice collection of books.

xoxoxo

He's my favourite Nemo character, close second would have to be Steve Irwin's shark  :laugh:

When my son was about three we used to ask him "What's up dude?" and he'd answer "Not much babe"   rofl  He was soooo cute too, just imagine a smaller version of Brock...with a blonde ponytail LOL.

Oh that would have been hilarious! I love moments like that....

xoxoxo

I went to my friends' wedding yesterday all hairy and sans makeup or jewellery.  So freeing, glad I listened to myself LOL.

Before I left home I ate at about 2pm, and did not eat again until 9pm when I got back home.  There were so many tasty morsels there....and I felt no desire for them at all.  I didn't make a big deal out of not eating, and when I did mention it quietly there was a lot of interest and acceptance there. 

In fact I was talking to the woman who did the ceremony - the minister of a local spiritualist church - and I eventually compared my eating raw but not preaching about it to her being a minister and not doing the same thing.  I could have said "don't eat the chicken, don't eat the garlic prawns" as the trays were passed around, but I didn't.  I just sipped my water out of my champagne glass, and politely refused each time I was offered.  The staff weren't offended, and there were plenty of takers LOL. And I made lots of new friends...bonus.

I could really enjoy myself without stressing over the food - and that's what it's all about.

Sunday I spent a nice but cold day at my teachers house on one of the many mountains nearby.  Second day of my counselling course....this time we felt more at ease and really opened up to each other.  My contribution to lunch was of course raw which opened up some positive discussion.

I love days like that, and in the training exercises you use your own experiences which can then open up hithero unseen solutions/insights.  And of course we danced again, lots, to shake up the energy and to ground ourselves.  And listened with our hearts...not our heads.  :)

So when I went to my chiro the next night my body had a new set of issues to work on.  And doing the breathwork afterwards - well it was so profound.  I'm told I just surrender to the process.......I know that I sobbed much louder than the week before LOL.  I was to go to a kundalini dance class afterwards, but I respected my body's need to rest instead (and eat raw icecream).

The last couple of weeks I've been feeling more spiritual and peaceful, and while new stuff is happening all around me this week......I feel disconnected, as if I'm even more connected with my body now and less with the outside world.   :heart: :heart: :heart:

Last night I did some psycometry (picking up energy from jewellery, etc)
I was amazed at how easily the information came through, and how much was vallidated. 

It's been a while since I did any psychic studies, didn't realise how much I missed it.  In the past I learned a little bit, then blocked it I guess....now I'm being drawn to it again.  And by being on raw food it raises my vibration more than ever, which gives more depth to my meditations and helps with my spiritual growth.

Interesting times ahead....

I love reading your journal. You could be one of the most interesting persons I have ever met!

xoxoxox

Wow thank you Jennie M.  And that's only a fraction of what's going on in my life.  If I told you everything it'd knock your socks off LOL

See you tomorrow lovey  :heart:

I'll be there with Bell's on.... and extra sockies!  rofl

xoxoxo

I've just spent a full minute trying to work out why you would wear extra socks........very funny, I'd laugh if I had the energy but right now I'll just give you a smile :)   

I'll be checking how many pairs you're wearing too btw. 

 :-*

I'll accept a smile.... and give you one in return! What a great mirror....

xoxoxox

Speaking of mirrors, I received an email yesterday from a good friend, and it reminded me to avoid people with negative energies. 

I know I also need to avoid places and situations that have a similar negativity for me.  As I eat more raw, natural food I want to be with like minded people, and if this is not possible then I happily spend time by myself. 

A little health problem came back this week, and even though I can see the physiological factors of why it happened, I also recognise the emotional reason it is back, just to remind me of something I need to let go of......that is no longer serving me well.  It is a single negative thought that is still in my consciousness.

So today I will embrace that part of myself and let it go.........and allow my soul to shine.   

I agree that we need to surround ourselves with those who are positive. It helps us become the same. That being said, there are positive people who go through experiences that are less than ideal and it's nice to be able to help support them through it.

xoxoxo

Tomorrow is a new day, a new start, a new beginning.....change is in the air, and the power of the feminine is around me. 

I stayed home from drumming tonight to give me a chance to rest and recharge in preparation for tomorrow.  I have a feeling of what's going to happen, but can't quite put it into words, nor do I want to.  The gentle expectation of the creative energies in the air is around me like a warm shawl, and as I gather it across my shoulders like an old friend there is the promise of something dancing out of reach, ready to meet me in my dreams. 

mmmmm the power of the feminine. It is time.

wow you are so poetic, that is simply beautiful gorgeous woman you are!

I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrw with a warm hug sent on the breeze.

Love BB
XXXX

got your warm hug....and sent one back to you with a sigh.   I have warm fuzzies playing in my chest now. 

beautiful BB, am sending some of those warm fuzzies to you surrounded in love. 

well.....yesterday was the first day of being outta control  :yahh:  and instead of being a moment full of fireworks it was a time of quiet contemplation.

I've tried to be in control of everything my whole life, and this was a breakthrough moment. ....didn't see that one coming LOL

I've always been spontanious but this is different.  It feels wonderful but oh so new, might just sit with this energy for a bit until I can intergrate it a bit more.  o:)

tonight I allowed myself to see one of my spirit guides for the first time, she's very sweet and French.

I've been told to 'play' with her energy over the next week, so I can recognise her when she is around ~ I prefer to call it dancing.  She dances into my energy field.....then dances out.....dances in.....dances out.

o:)  :heart:   Ahhhh, spirit dancing.   Love it

wow Sanghama, I love that  "Spirit Dancing" just beautiful...

Hi Sanghama!

Finally I made it over to your journal- what an amazing woman you are. You're doing so much body and spirit work, and it sounds like it's all working for you. Good on you for recognising you need it and going ahead with it. so much of the time we Mums forget about our own needs- you've given me something to think on, that's for sure!

Take care, enjoy the quietness- great things are happening for you, I also love the sound of your spirit dance, and feel there are guides hiding all around us (a bit like fairies really!) just out of vision, but almost close enough to touch. Enjoy...

Love and Joy XOXOXO

Thanks gals, I like the sound of 'spirit dancing' too.

Eve, I've always felt spirits and guides around me, but have never been able to tell one from the other.  This way I'll get to know them, one at a time.

Rawfairlady......thanks for wading through all my 'stuff'.  It has taken me a long time to look after my own needs, my kids are now all young adults.  At least they can see the effect all this has had on me, and there is a measure of respect from them too.  I used to feel selfish doing things for myself, now it is self-care-ish. 

Have to go to bed now, had a fabulous CHI Running workshop today with Coach J-R (he is such a beautiful man...with such great legs LOL) but I am absolutely knackered.  I'm going for a run very early tomorrow, so need to have a nice warm bath and then crawl into bed.  Ahhhhhhh that sounds good.

Well my baby girl is 21 today.  We all went out for dinner last night and it was a great night, tonight she is having a big night out with her friends.  And I'm feeling so sad coz I won't see her today.  I've always seen my kids on their birthday.  I'll talk to her later today, I'll get over this feeling, I see her most days anyway.

Today is Earth Day, so tonight I will consciously 'connect with the heartbeat of the Mother with drumming'.

I met my new dentist today, and he is soooo nice!  And much younger than I expected, with beautiful hair.   Nice hair is so important when choosing a dentist LOL.

I'll start detoxing tomorrow, and next week will have the first of my amalgam fillings replaced.  I have such complete faith in him, he explained everything so thoroughly.  I have a list of foods to avoid (I already do) and a list of foods to include to help my body recover from this (one food in paticular is great for removing heavy metals, and although I don't eat it now, I am prepared to for the next few months).  I'm also having a hair analysis done, and will have intravenous vitamin C after each visit.  I'm thinking of making a bush flower remedy to assist this process, and maybe incorporate it into a cream and body lotion....maybe even some soap.....just for me. 

I'm so tired, my mother broke her hip yesterday (she's 85) and she wouldn't let the nursing staff tell me until today......she didn't want to ruin her granddaughter's 21st!   I found out right before my bodywork treatment today, so the emotions surrounding me were released soon after.  I was so excited to have 5 days off in a row....lots of uninterrupted time to work on my stuff.  Thanks Universe for throwing me another curve ball, another great learning opportunity :).   Guess I need to find a balance somewhere hey?

I love my bodywork guy ~ he is a personal trainer for my soul. 

 Hi Sangama,

Nice hair!!!!! LOL I burst out laughing when I read that!!!! Thanks, I needed a giggle.

Your baby is 21, what an interesting age that is. When I was 21 I had a baby daughter, had been married and divorced already Whew!. And I thought I was all grown up and knew EVERYTHING! Oh dear, I am learning more each day what I DON'T know!!!

Rest up, hope your Mum is ok poor thing.

OXOXOXO

Glad you had a laugh RFL, you should see it  - black hair pulled back into a ponytail....just like Antonio Banderas. 

 

OMG I've just had my first smoothie with coconut oil - why have I not done this before?

Very simple, a few bananas, orange juice and 2/3 cup coconut oil - yummy.  I was up until the wee hours this morning tasting and talking raw food, and came away with so much knowledge about coconuts.....now to find Luke's number, he'll be getting a call soon ;)

So what does this week hold in store for me?  I'm getting half my amalgam fillings removed (and replaced), having my back done - twice, breathwork session, colonic or two if I can fit it in, a car service, some intravenous vitamin C (to combat mercury poisoning), another telepathic 'test' from my teacher, more flower readings,  steam room sessions every day, drumming performance, counselling training and probably dinner with friends.  Whew....and throw in a few full days of paid work as well. 

And of course my chi running and exercising every day.............and lots of 100% raw food.    Typical week really LOL

That sounds like a wonderful week, all the best with having those fillings removed just concentrate on his nice hair   :laugh:

  rofl

Had another drumming session on the outdoor stage tonight  - we went really well, twas a bit chilly though. 
Because it is such a small stage we had to squeeze up nice and tight...ahhh, sandwiched between two sweet guys.  It's a hardship but someone has to do it.  :laugh:

Tomorrow night I'm off to the advanced class - eeek.  Am I up to the challenge?  I wonder........how many more cute guys can they fit into these classes? LOL

Huge releases last night from my body and breathwork sessions - huge.  Preparing me for what's up ahead.

Actually, most of my teachers and therapists are gentle, compassionate, beautiful men who see the real me.  ahhhh.....lovely.

Hi Sanghama,

All those lovely men....lucky you! The company of men can be so grounding, so earthy, making you feel so safe and protected. Enjoy.

Love to you xoxoxo

Oh wow! You are seeing your spirit guide? That is so exciting. And surrounded by cute men, one of whom has nice hair and stares lovingly into your.... mouth? LOL. I hope you have had a great week Sanga!

xoxoxo

Hey Pixie Lady - you look so good LOL  Yeah, I'm very lucky  :laugh:

Jennie, you're all booked in - hope you're ready xox

HUGE changes happening for me,  I'll post the details later, have to let it sink in a bit yet.....and no, it doesn't involve any of those lovely men ROFL 

You are such an interesting person Sanghama you posts always make me think or feel deepness.
But I do have to have to feel sorry for you...how annoying to HAVE to sit between two cute guys...gee life is tough aint it!  rofl

Love BB
XXX

ps...we have excellent drummers here in Adelaide.....wanna come?!

Why thank you BB, your posts do the same for me. 

And you're the one I feel sorry for....you're married to one of the cutest guys I know.   :laugh:  I won't have drumming for a couple of weeks, hope I don't get withdrawl symptoms LOL.

Adelaide, I'd love to come.  Let's see what happens after Vipassana.  I have the time........and you have the place.  Now you've got me thinking. 

First things first though, I resigned from my job on Friday, so my main priority atm is looking after my health and wellbeing, then to find some employment that fits my new criteria.  I'm putting it out to the universe coz I know I'll be looked after.  There's no fear about this, I know without a doubt that things will be okay.  New exciting times ahead  woohoo

Whenever your ready...our home is your home.  :heart:

BB
XXX

I got most of my hair cut off today, thanks  Rawfairylady for the inspiration.  Feels great, but my ears are a little cold..........now where did I put that beanie? :laugh:

My poor hairdresser, when I saw him in March I said 'I've broken up with my boyfriend, do something different',
today I told him 'I've just quit my job, do something different' LOL.  Let's not even think about next month.

I'm taking a break from modern technology for a while.......see you when I'm back online  :-*

I've just spent 10+ days in the bush at a meditation retreat learning Vipassana. 

Lots of healing
         
noble silence

beauty

love                 
     
compassion

dhamma

metta

 :heart:  -_-

It's nice to be back amonst friends and loved ones, but with a new inner calm and peaceful mind.............may you be happy

Was wonderin where ye be...

Enjoyed the retreat experience by the sound of it.

Loved it

talk more later

Sanga

I've just spent 2 days with my reiki master in the hills in northern NSW, awesome.   :ohyeah:

There is very powerful energy on her property, on the whole hill actually.  Combine that with the full moon and we were buzzing.

She took me for a few walks around the area, just down the road from her is an abandoned organic fruit farm - imagine it.....avocado, macadamia, citrus, mango, pawpaw, guava and many more fruit trees I've forgotten seeing, lots of passionfruit vines, lots of other fruit that I can't remember the names of.........and of course plenty of bananas.  You could forage forever in that area.  Yumm.  Then we walked through the neighbours properties, foraging there too.  I saw coffee and lentil plants for the first time, they're a bit of a pest there now.  I'm family now, so I'll be back there soon LOL. 

And sitting on the balcony this morning wrapped in a blanket meditating in that pristine air........bliss.

It's a local's secret, so I'm not allowed to tell. :laugh:  I came away with some of her healing artwork though, fruit for my heart *sigh* :heart:

What exciting, healing experiences you have been on of late
 Much love and respect

Thank you my sweet, and you are about to embark on a huge adventure in a few weeks.  You know I'll be thinking about you......sending you my love.

I was driving down the highway yesterday and felt a bit strange, as if I was standing outside witnessing everything.  And a little mantra kept playing itself in my head "I move through life with ease, grace and joy"   Nice.....

I went for another session on my back too, another entrainment, and my therapist told me how fast my body's responding since I came back from Vipassana - it's like my body is listening more effectively.  And everyone is telling me how great and happy I look, I radiate happiness according to my friends.  Wow, I love my friends. 

And your friends love you.... Bliss!

xoxxxo

I spent a delicious weekend with friends watching movies, sleeping in, staying up late, lots of interesting conversations.....just soaking up the atmosphere and going with the flow......then coming back to reality.

My mother had a mini-stroke last night, I should/could be looking for work, my sister lives overseas and has panicked as ususal - calls and emails from her - she is coming over here soon.......every family needs a martyr or two don't they? :)

So this morning I agreed to join Lovespirit on her juicefeast.  I've already had a big raw breakfast, so will get supplies in this afternoon and start tomorrow.  Lots of meditation and lots of juice and I'll sail through this no worries. 

Thank you Jennie :heart: I already know that.  Catch up soon hey?

Ooh sounds like you've been having fun! As great and healthy that early nights are, it can be freeing to stay up with friends and do things in a different way. We have had a projector at our (tv-free) house so watching movies on the big screen on the wall! Very different to usual reading, playing and such but a healthy change from the usual.

Wonderful that you are relaxed. I have been reading a great book about emotional entraptment and the author believes that one of the three main emotional traps is 'insistence'. The thought then belief that you SHOULD or HAVE TO do something is often unrealistic and better to think about I WANT TO...
Great read actually for me.
May you find a joyful, fulfilling way to attract money!

I'm at planning stage again for Qld trip so please make global warming happen quickly up there please! lol...kidding of course.  :snicker:

Lots of lovelinesss to you xx

Lots of fun, in the middle of packing a wholesale order - seems the universe has plans for me LOL

post office awaits,
 :heart:
Sanghama

Cathy you sound so calm and it's catchy. I've just read your post three times and get soothed everytime!

Jungle I love your new avatar. You look so serene! If you come up near the Gold Coast I'd love to meet you. The weather is gorgeous here at the moment.

xoxoxo

Jungle, we don't need global warming up here, it's pretty mild right now.  And if your Qld trip doesn't include the Gold Coast we'll track you down and bring you here anyway LOL.  I still have my scissors ready.....

I feel calm and inspired atm, I see that my last post was at 4:44 - any repeating number is special to me, and the meaning of this one is more so, especially combined with what I was doing at the time.  Just another way the universe has of telling me that basically I'm on the right path, and that this path will be filled with lots of fun for me, and love. 

Jen, you feel soothed, that's so good.  me too LOL.

I had an aromatherapy massage late last night, for $20.  It was at a student clinic and the girl was fabulous - it was going to be a one-off, but I've already booked for next week.  I suppose it was a present to myself for starting my juicefeast, and it was worth it. 

And on Friday I'm going to a singing and drumming workshop, then to a concert that night.  Drumming, dancing, singing and juicing  :yahh:  Anyone else up for it??

Oh I will DEFINITELY be making meeting you sunny raw folk a high priority!!! Yay!! I'm excited about meeting!

Me too Jungle girl, got some warm hugs waiting here for you and your babe.

Had an entrainment this morning, and it really affected me.  Maybe because I'm juicing, and my body's ready to release lots of stuff, who knows.   I had a serene experience on the table, I managed to breathe exactly as requested and my body responded so well, I came so far. 

I was a bit 'spacy' as I walked out, and very emotional.  I went to the toilet....and cried.  Sat in reception.....and cried.  Sipped a glass of water...and cried.  In the end I just sat there and let everything integrate, and then gingerly walked down to the local organic shop and drank juice slowly for about an hour. 

Then when I came home all I wanted to do was sleep, so I curled up on the couch for hours wrapped in a blanket, and felt my whole body vibrate.  So intense!  I'm glad I had so much juice this morning, as I can't face any more right now.  All my body wants is water.  I may be a bit tired tomorrow as a result so I'll drink up big then. 

It's time to let go of the old pattern of who I used to be, and replace it with who I am and what I can achieve.  And let my heart open more than ever before ~ let my heart sing.  I'm feeling a tiny amount of fear as I type, but it's just a sensation,      arising and passing away    arising and passing away

S - hang on in there - it will pass!!!! That's what I tell myself every single time I feel bad physically or emotionally on this feast.....and it always does pass :-)

I know we are all different but I'm sure you'll feel better very soon. I'm on day 5 and I felt FANTASTIC today....better than I have for years....and I was thinking "Wow, how amazing am I going to feel when I've finished??!!**$$%%!!!".

Keep the faith!!!

Also, this is the year of the solar plexus, so lightworkers need to do everything they can to clear away the old stuff and amp up their personal power.... as next year we are in the heart. :-)  I think that we are doing what is exactly perfect for us right now.

Lovespirit xx 

Hey Sanga, I'm here with the tissues if you require a friendly shoulder to verbally cleanse on! Just give me a call. Hugs to you brave lady.

xoxoxo

Lovespirit, thanks for your words of encouragement....I feel better thanks.  Glad you're feeling so great too, you are my inspiration LOL.
The physical shaking has subsided, and right now I'm keeping my mental attitude strong and centered.  I'm having a breather before I go to the hospital to visit my mum......I feel better going early in the morning so I can come home and shower away the negative energy from there. 

Thanks Jen, the tissue issue is gone for now, but I'll give you a call soon.  Gosh, it's another two weeks to the next picnic - I'm having Jennie withdrawls hehe. 

Might have to buy some CD's today, need some new music in my life.  Currently grooving to Chris Brown's Forever, I danced for about 2 hours the other day ~ I love dancing, I feel so free. 

That's beautiful Sanghama, we all can achieve so much with the right attitude and direction.  For years I have made life more difficult then it has needed to be, I have known for eternity that I have a choice as to how I want to feel, what thoughts to entertain but recently I actually put these principles into practice and now daily aim to master a more positive existance...such life-changing stuff.  Thanks for the inspiring words, you are doing great! X

Sending you blissful, warm, soft, wise, healing LOVE lovely angel

We have oodles of cuddles for you too!

Have fun dancing!

am off to my workshop now...lots of african grooves, thanks girls.   

love to you too

:heart:

This juice thing is really getting to me, I have a headache and all I want to do is go to bed. 

BUT I learned a new rhythm today and am performing in a few hours....it'll be fun I know, but going somewhere new on my own lugging a drum doesn't have the same excitement it used to. 

Had a little whinge -  it's okay, I'm over it now.   

I'm an Aries girl, the moon is in Aries - lets go for it.  Tonight will be awesome, I get to be on stage for a short time, and the venue is 5 minutes from my house.  So ladies lock up your men coz I'm hitting the town alone LOL.

Now.........off to make some juice ;)

Last night was great ~ I grooved, sang, laughed, made new friends, caught up with old friends and generally had a ball.....oh yeah, got alcohol breathed on me, men bumped into and pushed up against me and I copped a few gropes ~ eeeeww.

I've actually felt a bit 'hung over' today, and all I drank was water.  Must have been the atmosphere, I'm not used to claustrobic places anymore.  Rested most of today, and am raring to go tonight. 

Anyway, have made a big decisioin tonight, so will post in a new thread shortly.  Tonight I'm the taxi driver - two kids out at different venues, and different pick-up times.  Ahhh, had forgotten what that was like.  At least tonight there should be no 3am wake up calls.............here's hoping anyway LOL.

This is a video of the guys I saw on Friday night, Afro Moses (in the white) is who I did my workshop with in the afternoon, a