Ivan, could you please tell me what you mean by "creator"?  And do you think this creator created love?  And did you get this information from channelings, and is that what Anastasia stuff is?  I'm asking for informational purposes and would very much appreciate an answer.  Thank you.

Hello sweet Jenergy (loving the name!), Thanks for your presence here and for your words of support that know how important and huge these accomplishments are!

I popped on here tonight to edit my last email [as I tend to do ] but will write here.  I ended up eating some watermelon that I rather wanted instead of apples after work, then a tomato soup with celery, lime, and a large collard green leaf, then that rather large pod of durian that I didn't want to let go to waste due to only really wanting half.  So, then the druggy feeling started from that mood altering food, and I did a 1.5 mile jog to get some of it out.  The digestion wasn't the best, especially with running!, but I was able to pull right through and also do a bit of walking and more bodyweight exercises on top of that. 

I didn't want to exercise first and then eat a lot afterward since I'm still trying to curb my past overeating tendencies.  This is working rather well for me at this time.  So, I prefer to exercise after my evening meal and endure some digestion difficulty and possible small cramps because that way I will not eat so much, and the raw foods don't really hinder my exercise and actually make me want to exercise more.  I'm feeling good now and am ready to sleep.  Yay.

Much love,
Theresa

Actually, Ivan, I read that the polar shift was supposed to be in 2012.  But my questioning into this whole deal of expectations toward the future has shown me to defy believing in these plans that are supposedly predestined/created for us or rather for their desires.  I do not go by the guidance of these angelic beings, for many of them have their own agenda.  Why do we need to be guided when we have the source?  Yes, teachers are needed to undo the brainwashings and suppression of our true selves, but really, is it another brainwashing of these angelic orders of light?  David Icke says they have their own agenda, and I know of it all firsthand from personal experiences to now NOT follow them like I did blindly before.  And I do not want whatever you claim will happen in 2012 because I intuitively feel it is not pure, and my experiences and research backs that up.  I suggest to whoever cares to not go along with a predestined date, because the picture is more than you know, and to rather activate and fill up yourself and what is around you with your pure energy now, for now is where it is.  Anyway....

I know that what truly loves us will just be with us, not as a guidance or anything; we will be together in the full capacity of love, which is the way it should be in that knowing.  Could you please explain what you mean by the word "creator," Ivan?  That would give me a better idea from which you are coming.

Anyway, I'll put more of my thoughts into my book instead of some more here.  Thanks for the interaction.

Love,
Theresa

I have finally lost the first 5 pounds!  I was at a plateau for over a year that it seemed I couldn't ever get out of this rut.  What I have determined and knew before is that I had to psychologically be ready to lose the excess baggage.  It's true that being thin like I was on my 4.5 month stint of all raw around 1 3/4 years ago made me just have me in my body with no extra protection between me and the world.  Then personal trials occurred, and my inner stuff came out more to where I couldn't face it all.  I had to work on this more and more this last year, and after the strength and realizations I've gained as well as connecting more deeply with certain people, I feel more solid inside--finally!  So, it's like my weight is now ready to come off, although I still have 10 or maybe more to go (depending on muscle mass).  I'm just happy to now be at the high end of what I previously thought as me not wanting to weigh more than what I do now.  It sucked that I got heavier than that, and I know that weight shouldn't matter much, especially toward women who get a bad deal from society since we are supposed to have 10% more fat than men!, but for me, it was me not shining as my full self due to hiding away from so much to psychologically and emotionally deal it.  It is true that the body reflects everything inside. 

My diet is ever improving and even great right now, no matter the smaller meals or combos--it's much better than it used to be since I'm not grazing more or eating too many foods at once. 

Today:
B: some watermelon
S: 1 banana and some neighborhood grapes
L: 2 oranges and a whole head of lettuce with a few garden tomatoes (the best!)--I need the greens to replenish iron lost from my period I just had.  Oh, I forgot to say that now my periods are much less painful, just achy.  This is phenomenal.
S: maybe 3 bananas and a neighborhood apple (I'm going to hit up a house tomorrow with a pear tree--the pears are just dropping to the ground!  It's true that when eating cooked, people don't eat much or any fruit.  "Ohh, but fruit doesn't make me feel good or even taste that good." Ha!!
D: 3 little apples in an applesauce, then 1 pod durian for the sulfur (I'll deal with the drug effects that will make me sleep in tomorrow, but I bet I'll regret it from all that tryptophan--we'll see).
Exercise: bodyweight exercises and a couple walks.  Tomorrow is the gym.
 

John, what do you mean "reads like a badly tangled fishing line?"  Are you saying you don't understand what I am writing? 

I'm not asking for long, in-depth conversations right now, but it would be good to get some sort of answer from you about your idea of what you mean by predestination.  You didn't clarify much in your response, actually.  I was just pointing out what could be perceived to be confusing since I do not often see you going into depth with your thoughts but rather choosing to barely touch upon many things.  I don't know what you mean by your head being where I am at, for I don't see you seeing what I do, and it is not that hard anymore for me to sort it out.  I am interested in sorting it out, so my writings do just that and try to put as many pieces together as possible. 

Sincerely,
Theresa

Just got back from the gym this late because I was writing some notes (finally) earlier on some self-improvement and wonderful amazingness that I am gaining.  I am feeilng much better in myself since I am connecting more deeply with a few really good people. 

My mom finally agreed to go more raw (yay!) after getting out of her house and spending last weekend with me and the Bogdanovichs (raw food family who I'm good friends with), and my 8-year old nephew decided to go vegetarian after dissecting a squid's head in science camp a few weeks ago.  After spending the last few days with me for his vacation that ended today, he wants to go more raw also since his body isn't so heavy from other foods now, and he felt a bit sick after eating some raw with me and then eating a cheese tamale.  He knows about veganism also and likes tofu and veggies (even plain lettuce and spinach), so that's an awesome start for someone that young!  I have influenced them both over the years, and finally, they are seeing its truth more profoundly on their own.  I am seeing what I have put out come back to me, even with another friend who has grown much deeper in his core awareness, and there's another who is approaching this with more interest. 

And soon, I will meet lovely Jim from this board after nearly a year of communicating off and on.  Anyone else going to Raw Spirit festival in Sedona, Arizona?  I'll meet Grant there also.  I hope to have more fitness by then (yikes, so soon! But they are out of my league in that department currently), but my diet at least is getting much better, and my body is really happy with only raw foods, mostly fruits and greens.  I ate loads of figs off a nearby tree today, because they tasted like fresh jam, so thankfully I burnt off the extra calories tonight! tee hee.

I'm happy even though I am still tired and in pain often as of late.  Keeping up the good focus is what is carrying me through well.

Wow, Jennie, your diet it really improving!  I'm loving how we're progressing (all of us here who keep going and further listening to ourselves).  Thanks for your inspiration also.  

That was beautifully written, Miss Bliss.

I am tired right now after a 1.5 hour conversation about this type of thing, but I want to say a couple of things. 

First off, John, just because you have not seen any such reptilian entity does not mean it does not exist.  I know people who have seen them, and I have had a few non-seeing encounters myself.  Also, what about all those supposed demons and angels and God stuff that are other entities but on other dimensions?  Why not just call them all aliens? 

Your writings still seem stuck in a religious context where you say there is something predestined for us, and Ivan, I dig what you have to say for the most part, but whenever you mention a creator and its (probably "his", right?) plan for us, isn't that once again contradicting our own core within us that could be deemed a creator but isn't actually because it's a being state that exudes pure love that never would create any sort of disconnection or the world in which we live that has been manipulated so? 

Why aren't the "normal" ways of thinking seen as conspiracies, even the 2012 stuff and astrology, that tries to keep us bound to an expectation of how the world "should" work and what "should" happen?  Yes, there is a level of reality that is bound to this world, but it is still built upon the same perfect energy that permeates everything.  We can align ourselves more and more with that All That Is, but how does that happen when your language then says that we are embedded to a plan/fate of what something else has created for us?  Or, if you say that we planned this after our previous death to willingly come back here to help others, that makes no sense also because our memories are erased upon arrival, and how can you say you were truly enlightened before, because you are still playing by the rules set before you as being subject to their plan that is once again evident in your speech? 

These are just some of my observations which might probably be dismissed, but I wanted to say them anyway.  Thanks.

Love,
Theresa

And Simon, if you see the point of my focus, I hope you can see how I am addressing your question.

Don't you wish the healing process was all merry and fun since it's such a good thing?  That's what is such a paradox!  But, it's so great that you are clearing out such ick--Good for you to stick with it!  I had major stress pour out of me last week, and I didn't turn to cooked food for possibly the first time when this extreme intensity hit me, so I know I am stronger than I ever have been before, and something in me knew to get the deeper issues out of my body--yay to us!

Much love,
Theresa

Janita, does awareness really make you feel like a viper woman?  Because as a carefree, intuitive child inside, that is aware also.  The thing to do is to link the mind with that, knowing the love/truth and not letting the scary/angering stuff consume us.  It has taken me a while to learn and I still have a little way to go since I grew up very reactive and am deeply caring and sensitive toward what happens to and around me.  I even saw myself as an underground revolutionary when I was 19, but I foresaw that if I stayed with that anger, I would be killed.  Now, that's not productive, is it?  But some people feel they have no choice but to fight when things get so desperate and wrong, and if their situation in their homeland is that horrible, I cannot judge them for that.  I fight in my own way, but I try to keep it with focus to where that "fight" is just keeping the truth no matter what wrong is trying to win.  Maybe that is instead just a steadfastness.  I do wish that there isn't a negative view toward awareness because there is sooo much beauty and peace in it (after the realization of oh my *@%#, I have been so wrong before and the world crashing down a bit in our heads). 

Here's a little story:  There's a couple who told everyone they came across about the Agenda and chemtrails.  They wouldn't give up.  Now they are locked away and medicated in a psychiatric ward.  Sooo sad.  They were right, but the energy they were in was very combative.  Yes, anger is real and fine, but it is not the root; therefore, we definitely should not operate out of it for that long at all.  The root is deep sadness at all the disconnection that is occuring.  It is an inward dealing which is not really threatening to others, hence, there is a protection there because love is present.  I think this is the answer, and it takes awareness to get there.  Without it, we will act so inconsistently within ourselves, like barking dogs and then escapists, so how is that a good thing for us in the long run?

Simon, I know that this energy has dispelled the most frightening things because of its original energetic integrity.  I hope to explain my experiences and research well to people in the book I am writing (but won't be out for a couple of years probably due to this being such an abstract topic, and I am growing still to comprehend more), and I hope there will be people who will want to read it, just as I like to read what others have to say.  Information sharing is powerful. 

Love,
Theresa

Hi Simon, Oh I thought I was being clear in what I wrote.  Yes, I definitely agree about the liberty part being similar.  If you are familiar with David Icke's way about him, though, he is brash but not in the same way as George Carlin who, like I said, has another video of him talking about rape being funny (I couldn't watch the whole thing because he was plain wrong in the beginning because he doesn't have the awareness of what it is really like).  He was not speaking with wisdom, freedom, or from the energy of love.  I like to look into all parts of something/someone to see the full picture, and that is why Icke and Carlin are similar but dissimilar.  He is also in more of a fighting mode--it's important to stay as constant as possible in the right energy of the All That Is/love. 

Jennie, I didn't change anything in my posts except for one word each to correct a mistake.  Your comment was fine because it's what you saw and wanted to portray.   Thanks for your compliment in another thread also; you inspired me too, that's why I contacted you before.

I didn't know that microwaving water did such damage!  I was taught that water is just water, since distilled water also is more just H20, and it may be good to kill the extra microorganisms in the water.  But hmm, now that I think about it, it totally makes sense.  But what about the water hitting boiling on the stove?

I agree, Janita and Jennie, about not letting the negativity overwhelm us.  It takes a lot of strength to be very aware and yet not crumble.  But, I find those crumbling times ok because then we realize our capabilities before and after, where afterward we gain the awareness how we can handle unpleasant things.  I think awareness is the most important thing there is; that entails knowing love also because we then know what is not love. 

Take care,
Theresa

Oh, and thanks for the nice compliment about the picture Jennie.  It was incredible up over Lake Tahoe on the Nevada Rim Trail last weekend!

Simon, I went to your link, and there are only some similarities between the two guys because of completely brash things George Carlin says in other videos:  When anyone says rape is funny, that shows a definite lack of wisdom and love. 

Jennie,  I was going to give a little reply to your comment, but now it's mysteriously gone.  Oh well.  Thanks for it anyway. 

I liked reading your post also, Miss Bliss, since you said more about your thoughts with it which are pretty cool. 

Anyway, off to bed soon since life is very busy at the moment.  Maybe we will keep coming to newly interesting and "weird" thoughts in our sleep, eh John?

Yeah, I'm always digesting this general topic.   It is hard to convey this stuff because there are definitely two realities, maybe more in which we are a part of.  I would rather say that I will not die within this Matrix world to leave a window open to the opportunity of my awareness bringing me a more properly energetic body with the rest of me, but the encoding of our body into time and what is Earth as physical is sure seemingly impossible to break. 

And, since 2012 hasn't happened yet, I would rather say that whatever is "planned" will not happen because it is another encoding of our minds and the physical to therefore then make it happen because of our enslaved/brainwashed state, so if enough people shift their minds and true self away to not thinking it is inevitable, even with physical death, then we can create a new physical reality.  But really, are the people in this world that enlightened to do just that?  Sadly, no.  I hope to see what we can do on an individidual/small community level with the pure and therefore most powerful energy we can come to intimately know.

David Icke doesn't know everything but has found communications that know the source of all energy, i.e. the All That Is.  He doesn't know the ins and outs himself, and that is evident with some of the deeper parts of his message.  However, it is difficult to convey the problems of the world without being upset by them, and he cannot be always at peace--non-reacting--as is evident by his speech.  As humans we definitely cannot help being entwined with the universe and reactive to some degree, but really, the All That Is is beyond the universe yet is also in its basic make-up as well, since it is the source.  That is also evident in our make-up, although our physical representation and individual consciousness has become controlled. 

When you say the universe will unfold in its intended way, that is still a Matrix plan, as the All That Is doesn't intend or manipulate anything.  The All That Is is our connection with love as its extension, and I see that as outside of the "universe" reality that we know.  Maybe I'm being too particular, but I find it important to be, for I hear so many people identifying the source of everything as the universe, and this creation as having its own plan, when in reality it's the manipulation of entities for its plan that has bound us to time and even astrology of the universe.  I choose to align myself not with that stuff, so I feel I am outside of whatever Matrix plan there is, even if my body still feels it and will die within it in this reality, unfortunately.  I am bringing my body and the rest of me to this higher consciousness, where awareness has me look right in the face of all the less-thans, including the universe, and want to align everything I am with the pure energy I have finally found.  I find many raw foodists mention this core within us, but then as they approach the glass ceiling where the full All That Is is outside of it, they then take a horizontal turn and align it with other spirits and teachers.  Just that action keeps them a slave to something else instead of the full knowing in themselves. 

People are afraid of breaking free of their comforts that keep them "in the dark" because truth is painful to see when we realize we haven't had the full truth before.  It's so sad, really, because full love that comes with full truth is so easy and freeing, it's amazing that most people and entities prefer to complicate everything and muck it up.  I refuse to be a part of whatever plan there is, for the All That Is isn't even a creator per se, but I do know that it is the undiseased, perfect particle of which everything else is but which has spiraled away, becoming further from their own vibrant state.  I am working on understanding this more fully.  But what I have found recently is that original place in ourselves, and there we are truly protected against the other energies that would rather destroy.  So, whatever will happen from the universe, I feel I am apart from even that in a sense, and I hope that stays true with the knowing I have from whatever planetary upheaval we will have from the pole shift our Earth will supposedly have in 2012.  I will let that knowing energy carry me to a place where I will not be harmed.  That is what is the protection and not feeding into the fear, as David Icke explains, but as I said, he does not explain the ins and outs because I don't know how much he is keeping himself in the All That Is by spreading himself out thin to supposedly "friendly" entities who give him communications.  He needs to expand the All That Is more in himself, I believe.

Sincerely,
Theresa