mmm fruit, haha.

Well, health wise not such a good day, but i dont want to dwell on it. Eating wise doing really well today.

Today when i craved my tea i first had a nap on the lounge, woke up feeling worse than before it, but decided to make my dinner salad before i gave in to the tea. By the time i made it i thought, maybe im just thirsty, so i guzzled 3 glasses of water and felt a bit better. The craving passed, and now im munching on some vege sticks with another glass of water. I dont think i can ride it out later tonight, my mums coming for dinner, but at least thats one less today and its the hardest for me to beat.

Today ive eaten:

Pineapple juice from 1/2 a pineapple, diluted (that was yum)
an apple, cucumber and mint smoothie (ate it with a spoon so i wouldnt guzzle it) with 1 apple and 1/2 cucumber
3 oranges
1 pear
1/2 punnet of strawberries
2 dates

Currently eating carrot sticks from half a carrot, some snow peas, and a few lettuce leaves straight from the garden.

Am strangely wanting vege sticks alot now. For ages all i ever wanted was fruit, now i really want veges as well, as they are, no dip or dressing. The odd thing is i never used to like carrot sticks all that much (not without dip), but now i love the flavour. Tastes have defo changed. The good thing is hubby likes vege sticks as a snack, so when i make mine i cut up extra for his lunch the next day.

Its funny learning about kids nutrition, that kids like simple foods and are suspicious of mixtures. Maybe they just instinctively know better than us how to eat. Simply. Apparently have better taste buds too, so dont need sweetners, dressings. Perhaps they just havent been warped yet by all the cooked flavours.

Ill be having some fish tonight, mums bought a whole smoked trout for some bizarre reason and wants to share. So am having that with my salad. Loving this simple eating but, your right Neet i dont miss fats, as long as im hydrated and full it doesnt even occur to me to eat fats, fruits always my first thought.

Last night i cooked pizza for hubby and a few friends. I really enjoyed cooking it too, i felt no resentment that i couldnt eat it, i just tried making it as nice as possible to make other people happy. It felt really rewarding to do something so giving. Once i never could have done that, not without some bitter thoughts or wishing i was eating it too.

Ive got plans to do this monday, im not brave enough to do it when things are on, and socially things keep coming up. I just dont think i could miss my tea on one of those days, better to brave it when i know theres going to be nothing to tempt me. Im all raw so far today 

Yep keep posting the food and exercise. The food reminds me how much i should be eating, coz its so easy to feel that were overeating when were really not.

Oh Neet, your the best, sending huge hugs 

I think your right about that Jen, id say it is an energy craving more than anything. But i want it even when im full sometimes, so there still a strong emotional level to it.

I just had my cuppa with a plate of strawberries and a date, was delicious actually. I dont think i really needed the tea, was a comfort. Having a bit of a bad day, so was harder to not have it, but as you said Neet doesnt all have to be raw, and i must say i really enjoyed a cup of quality earl grey with it (lol, im a tea snob, you should see my collection of varieties to choose from).

Ive to a certain degree replaced my beer drinking and snobbery with tea. Getting into different varieties has been a nice replacement. I use to love trying all different beers, and was consuming beers a far cry from the typical aussie drop. Ive realised im just not ready to let go of that, so for now im enjoying them guilt free 

I have had a sudden realisation today of some natural progress, i very rarely even think of nuts for snacks anymore, my afternoon snack at the beginning of raw would be dates with peanut butter, or a large plate of cashews, something very heavy, now its some berries and dried fruits and thats exactly what i want.

I also now enjoy plain cut up veges, once i would have had to have some fatty dip to go with it, but now happily munch on some carrot and cucumber sticks on their own with no thought of them needing something with it.

Going on my recent juice and smoothie feast has shown me how much i havent dealt with some issues. The drinking one being the major thing. Ive convinced myself im ok with being a non-drinker, that i dont need alcohol, i can have fun without it, but in truth im not ok with it, i miss being part of the social events that drinking provides. Its not about the alcohol, its about being part of things. Maybe now that ive realised that, i can face it head on rather than burying my feelings and putting out a positive front.

The other issue that came out of it is my old play hard or go home attitude hasnt changed in the slightest. Even through all my sickness i still feel i have to stay out till everyone goes home, no matter how i feel, no matter how bad a time im having. Again, now that im aware of it, can face it, and learn its ok to go home anytime, that a few hours is enough and not alot more is going to be gained if i stay later, im not 'missing out' on anything. Because ive been forced to slow down and didnt naturally do it ive never really been happy with my lot in life.

People often say to me out i dont know how you do it, to not drinking and being out with drunks. Truth is its a front, i dont do it, i just want to keep having fun like i used to. The problem is i cant and dont want to walk away from it all, its my life and i have many good friends that are part of that life, somehow i need to find some compromise to all of this. I had thought i just need to spend some time away from it, but i dont think thats the answer, i think the answer is in leaving at the right time. Something to work on.

Anyways on the yummy raw food front. My dinner last night was yuck! lol, the corn cob i put with it, delicious, but the rest i only ate half and threw the rest out. For once i agreed with hubby, the combo abombo was disgusting and sickening. Lesson learnt, my body wants light juicy foods. I ended up having a couple of oranges and some banana icecream later on. So its no overts today until saturday, small goal, but i think i can do it.

Made a yummy juice this morning, got inspired by one i bought out on the weekend and my juice bag turned up yesterday. So glad i got it, so much easier to use than a juicer, by a long shot. A bit fiddly, but all juicing is. Made some orange carrot and ginger with brekky, was awesome. Later i made an orange with chicory greens, that was a little bitter, but i must say i could feel that one get into my cells, was great! Off to make some more food, haha.

Ooh i just love the pineapple picture, thats awesome!

It is hard hey, learning to adapt our old lives to the way we now have to live. Ive got some similar dilemmas myself atm. Its a great journey but, just think what we've gained by such trials, people have to live long lives normally to grow that much.

Congrats on finding someone so amazing! Its something everyone in this world deserves but can be so hard to find, someone we can connect with so perfectly.

If its meant to be, it will work out even with long distance issues.

On the choccy front, i had some chocolate a little while ago for the first time in well over a year, not raw. I must say, i didnt actually like it, the flavour was....odd, and the texture even weirder. To me it took away from the juicy strawberries it was with. It convinced me i dont need to try chocolate raw, its just not for me.

Thanks so much jen and neet, the support on here is fantastic, i dont think i could have ever come this far without it. 

Feeling good again today, i think im always in better spirits anyway when the weather is better. Im stupidly sensitive to the weather, its a good thing i dont live in england isnt it, haha.

Did a little mini tramping today, only probs 5mins, but im easing into exercise this time, i have a tendency to overdo it, so im trying to gradually build up to what i can do daily rather than pushing myself to the max of what i can handle that day.

Had a yummy brekky/lunch of grated apple, orange juice, cinamin, and sultanas, yummm. Been snacking on grapes all arvo and have just made up a raw pasta for dinner of zucchini noodles (julienned), mushrooms, blended brocolli (only 4 stems, i think less is more with brocolli) with lemon juice, and some tahini whipped with warm water. Am going to cook hubby a steak to go with it.

Got some lovely sun again today, gotta get that vit D, is without my favourite vitamin to obtain. Nothing more glorious than sitting in the sun. Has been a real good routine of late sitting out in the sun with my books and doing some uni readings.

Havent had any caffeine yet today, am finding i go pretty good till about 4pm, then i have to have some tea. Im giving into it for now, just enjoying it. Reminding myself that i once considered my cup of tea a healthy choice, so i should still think of it that way until im ready to move on from it. Baby steps indeed 

Now this is a challenge i could succeed in, lol. I love it.

Its a fantastic idea, but i think its a way we forget to think isnt it.

I actually didnt find that article too bad, at least it wasnt straight out bashing. There were positives mentioned in it.

It really only skimmed the surface of things, but thats to be expected.

I dont think many articles wont bring up the protein issues, its a bit of a poorly understood concept.

I shave armpits, legs too.

I get the odd stray on my face, am mediteranean, cant be helped. I just pluck em when the little buggers reappear. I have noticed that a few of them are appearing less frequently, so might be a good sign.

Not much good finding the holy grail if theres no one there with you to share in the joy.

Well, what a rollercoaster of a few days.

Friday i felt fantastic, had heaps of energy, did a big fruit shop, got some good solid study done, was great.

Saturday morning i was fine, woke up early, felt pretty good. By lunchtime i had crashed badly, unsure if it was an apple and cucumber juice id premade the night before, but i think it more likely was severe detox. I ended up having coffee coz i felt so bad twice on saturday. It was a big weekend so the detox hit me really hard, on saturday afternoon i had a sleep to feel better and had the craziest dreams ever, was like flashes of disturbing images, like a drug trip really. It freaked me out, when i woke up i was on edge from them. Is that detox?

Went out that night, pushed myself really hard even though i was incredibly sick for the sake of a friend whose going away soon. I ended up in a situation where i was starving and the only food available was cooked, so i compromised with a container of white rice and a bottle of 100% juice. I didnt have any problems for it, but it didnt make me feel better like id hoped.

Sunday was even sicker again, couldnt face sounds, ended up shutting myself in my room for most of the day, slept on and off but mostly cried. Ended up in a deep state of depression, when i finally worked out what was bothering me, and let it out i felt better.

Today, huge surprise but i actually feel really good again. Did a few stretches this morning for the first time in a week. Did dishes, a little study. Prepared dinner already.

I think with how i was over the weekend its simply too soon for any sort of modified fasting. The detox was intense and more than i can handle both physically and emotionally. Nonetheless im sticking to a plan of eating, because starting the day this way does feel good and i tend to eat less fats. (I ended up eating the odd avo before bed a few of the nights)

So im starting the day with water first, including my probiotic, its a wholefood source and organic, so although not raw its beneficial and i think while im still drinking tea and eating a little cooked i need it. Last night i had eggs, i think its helped slow down the detox.

Then im having some juice, and at lunch having a green smoothie. Basic fruit in the arvo, and dinner will generally be a light salad, but im still willing to eat some cooked, this exercise has proved how unready for 100% i am. Im going to try and keep my fats till dinner still, it has helped my digestion over the last week, so worth doing as much as possible.

Overall i think its still been a positive doing this. For one i learnt some lessons that needed learning, not only about pushing myself for others when they dont even notice or expect me to do so, but also i have become a little judgemental as hard as i try not to be, and sometimes pretending to be having a good time and feeling ok isnt a good thing, sometimes i do have a bad time out and i need to face that, accept it, and be ok with it. For now until i fully address how i feel about being out with excessive drunks im not going to put myself in that situation unnecessarily.

Also, healingwise it has helped my digestion which was the point, and with so much detoxing ive no doubt fasttracked some healing. My eyes are brighter and 'seem' a lighter clearer brown. Im enjoying simple foods more than before, today i had a parsley and pear smoothie and it was fantastic!

Despite all that, i dont think ill put myself through it again for a while.

Ive made a salad for dinner of cucumber, capsicum (yellow and red), and a dressing of blended cucumber (1/2), and about a tablespoon of pinenuts, parsley, mint, and a little garlic. Im serving it with some boiled eggs, seems perfect for the nice warm day it is.

Loving these warm days, has been great to pull out some summer clothes and feel the sun again.

wow it really does look like icecream, how awesome!

Im defo putting that high on my wishlist now.

Ice cream maker is on my list of things to get eventually for that reason. Scoops would be awesome, plus have some small hope that hubby might one day be converted if it looks like regular icecream, but i doubt it, lol. Oh well ill just keep setting the example.

It doesnt give me indigestion. I use it still in some dips and dressings, but find raw need alot less. Like a small slice off a clove, anymore and its overwhelming. That amount is perfect in raw dishes, you could use 2 slices of it if it was being roughly chopped and not blended.

It might be a problem if i consumed it in larger amounts.