To Jen, with love from May - and John, whose words in his journal inspired me to post this here for you.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Beautifull post May...

Jen...how do I say this.....

Once upon a time......... I wanted to be everybody's friend. My life revolved around seeking acceptance from others. It was in fact (in hindsight) my lifes "purpose"...and what folly it turned out to be!!!!!!!!!!!

But it was a path...and a time...with a purpose....

I realised I felt unloved...I realised I did not love myself....so I sought "verification" and "validity" by MAKING others like me....well I didn't realise I felt unloved and I didn't realise I did not love myself...WHILE I was going through that phase....I only realised it much later....

I would "attach" myself to seemingly powerfull people...believing that being in their presence and gaining their acceptance in some way "validated" me....and all the world could "see" that I was indeed WORTHY....

By doing that I only achieved the opposite.

I eroded and diluted and lost touch completely with my OWN worth and value.

I became a puppet of my own fears and insecurities.

While believing I was creating something of value I was actually doing the opposite.

Jen....you ARE a beautifull human being. I know this in my heart. You cannot and will not ever be able to make everyone happy. You cannot create a life initially where there is no turmoil or disagreement...or where everyone you meet will simply love you or agree with you...

While you are going through the painfull process of LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF you will meet with some turmoil and some strife and some people who if you were having a bad-hair-type-day and had a .60 Cal machine gun in the boot of your car you would happily hasten their introduction to their maker...

You are a warrior Jen.

Do not lose sight of this fact.

You are a warrior.

MOST people do not have the guts to even face themsleves let alone make major changes in their lives. YOU........DO...and YOU...ARE....!!!!!!

Love yourself.

Sharpen your sword.

Fashion your shield.

Viva La ZAP!

John

Hi Jen,

Thank you so much for a wonderful day. It was unfortunate i couldn't stay a bit longer but Josh ended up having a really good long sleep when we got home which he (and I) really needed. It was just so great getting to know you a bit better and I have to say that you are wonderfully warm, genuine, mindful, and positive in real life as well as online. I left the park today feeling so inspired by you and what you are going to achieve with your raw classes. (I told mum about it and she is very keen!) So I've decided to put more effort in to my herbal business and my birthwork, (and maybe even offering workshops to spread the raw message myself). Thanks again. Your'e a fantastic mum and your kids were a beautiful reflection of that too.
Hope to keep in touch.
Many blessings on your adventure xo

P.S - Do you remember the name of that shop in Runaway Bay?

excellent...I think I'm going to go exploring tomorrow   

what next jen?? a raw restaurant?? what a star you are - your food looks amazing!!! took me a while to get through all those posts since last week. what a busy girl you have been!!
from my point of view you can keep your snake though - not my most loved creature of the world - i would have been screaming my head off mmm hehe glad you were the one there to rescue him.
finally over in perth - hence a week without posting as i've been trying to get the pc working here. going to do a lot of experimenting with raw cooking over the next 3 months and i love all these market gardners that are on the side of the road!!! im going to be in heaven!!! yippee!!!
keep up the good work babe
love
kitty kat

Hey Jen babe, I always deal with other kids to mediate their behaviour-I think if you are gentle and respectful it is the right thing to do-it takes a village to raise a child. It prob made that mum feel insecure because she was not proactive in mediating their behaviour y'know. Any way-you've moved on. Loved seeing the pics of you and erthmum-love to hang out and be mates with you two. That curry looked so good-any hints on how its done? Thanks for your wishes-put a spark of light in my day as always. Love to you.

Hey all. Thanks again for all of the support both here and from the PM's and emails. It's been really lovely to have that. I've been eft-ing all of this anger and unable to budge it at all which has been very frustrating because I normally have such success with it. But yesterday I had a breakthrough, I looked for the emotion behind the anger and it's all to do with feeling unheard, 'people aren't interested in what I say' 'people think I'm an idiot and not worth listening to' 'people humour me by pretending to listen' etc. These are old beliefs and I need to clear them before I start my classes next week. eeeeeeeek one week to go! *exited* This explains why I get so angry with my children at the moment. They are classic 'non hearers', one could even say they have a phd in not listening! However I'm sure that once I clear my old beliefs that Caitlyn and Brock will stop mirroring them back to me. So there will be much EFT and visualisation going on for the next few days! There are also spin off beliefs that are attached also such as 'I'm not clear enough so people misunderstand me' and the like. It's all very good and I'm glad to have the opportunity to clear these and move on to more constructive and healthy beliefs....

I didn't get to post yesterday. I was out last night and got home at about 10.30. I set up my trusty lap top and no internet . :angry: So I missed my diary! I went to be feeling very incomplete...

Anyhow, I had a gs day yesterday until dinner time. For dinner I had celery and banana chopped with a date sauce.

Today I don't know what I'm going to eat! I forgot to shop yesterday and don't have a lot... I'm going to make a great big vege curry so maybe I'll eat that all day. I'll take a photo and post it later on. Sooo yummy. I was inspired to this one by my good friend viking girl. She had an idea for a sauce and I worked from there. I totally changed it but it's lead me in another raw direction entirely....

And I think oranges for the rest of the day.

I'll post again tonight.

xoxoxo

Oh Jen, I can't believe how similar we are.  I used to feel that way so badly.  I would never dare speak in a crowd for fear of someone else speaking over me and then me getting ignored because it would hurt me so badly.  David used to tell me that I spoke so quietly it was no wonder it happened.  But I didn't dare speak more loudly as then I'd have felt a bigger fool if drowned out.

I've almost been in tears sometimes because people wouldn't give me a chance to speak.  It's all about self worth in my case, and I'm fine with it now, but it was incredibly painful for all those years.  A couple of times I did have to leave a room to cry because I felt so small and unworthy.

I am so pleased for you that you've found your underlying reasons and now you can treat them.  It's good that the anger EFT didn't work isn't it?  Now you've got to the bottom of it.  I'm sure you'll treat it quickly now and be fantastic in plenty of time for your classes.  And of course people will be hanging on your every word there, so that'll be more encouragement for you.

Yippeeee

Love
May