I have been thinking alot lately what it takes to be man not just a husband in the sacred union of marriage.

I believe there are many husbands that are not being a man for there wife and family today. They might of started off that way but are not actively being the man of the house.

While I am no husband yet but I am an active student of learning and preparing to be a 'man in marriage' in the path of  the ultimate union between a man and woman.

I have faith God is preparing me.

**What I have come to believe so far-

A man must be willing to die for his wife. While we have police and army's to protect us all. A man must still fight for what is right in the home. And if his woman does not feel it, there is problems in the marriage.

A man must be willing to put his fear on the shelf and love her like no other.

He must be able to look fear in the eye and have faith and take charge in moments of despair.

He must not give her pieces of his heart he must give her everything and then more.

A man must be like ' You can run, you can hide, you can yell , you can cry, as much as you want to, at me but I will take care of you for ever'.

The more a woman comes at a man with hurt, The more a man needs to be present and love her regardless. He must weather through her storm and have faith because there is always a rainbow at the end.

A man must be proud of his wife and cherish her, hold her, encourage her and let her flourish in all that she is because she is God's gift to him and therefore every women deserves to be treated so.

I am sure there is alot more I could say but my heart has kept my body up as long as it can. At 2am my body is screaming for rest. So beddy buys it is.

One last thought- I find it funny I started this on the eve of father's day. Having grown up most of my life without my father and not really knowing him when he was alive, I will one day honour him and God by one day being the father my dad could not. I thank him today for giving me life.

Sacha

ahh Sacha...i look forward to you meeting my husband one day...many who meet us for the first time,think we are newly weds....yes we had a blip on the radar,through complacency and loss of communication and thinking our own thoughts,with out clarification of fact(harsh lesson learned and grateful for it...)

he is the ideal partner/best friend/husband/my tower of strength/my rock/my confidant/my teacher and student in so many ways.....and he is constantly working on how he can be a better(all of the above)and this blows my mind...ahh and to top it off,he is very romantic!

i have so much respect for him,how he conducts himself in every facet of his life..who he is..i admire him....all in one hot hubba hubba package...i feel blessed.....he inspires me to be a better person...

i always feel better after i talk to him..than before i talked to him!thats my measuring stick of a true friend...not someone that you leave,feeling worse....

ahh sorry...Sacha,ive made this all about Nige....but i really think you would probably talk together for hours if you ever met...both so passionate about respecting women(your woman)and bettering yourself in every way....makes for two very interesting people,who are surrounded by people who want to talk to you....and neither of you are self absorbed either...i like that....

Hey there sexy SachMAN...loved your last deep post, I couldnt help but sigh with womanly affection and gooeyness whilst reading...thinking that you have described my man perfectly. Like Neet, we did for a time have our share of probs, just from loosing sight of eachothers needs...becoming so "comfortable" that we forgot to romance eachother and look out for eachother and really listen...but that has all changed now, the fire has purified the diamond...and we sparkle and shine together. I feel and KNOW, I am most important to my husband, and he likewise feels the same, and we let the kiddies know too, our time is OUR time, and we wont have interuptions.
My man amazes me each day with his gentleness and pure love...the greatest gift...

So a man to be a MAN, is really important for a woman...and for that mans own personal growth and self belief and worth.

I love when you bring the deepness out of us sach...keep it up and thankyou.

Love ya so much

BB
XXX

You have described my husband to a tee and made me realise how much of a man he really is and that he needs to know that I appreciate all that he does for me and how much he does love me.

Had a little cry.  Thank you.
xx

Annette your welcome! What you said about appreciating all that he does for you and loving him is a excellent point. The ultimate reward for a man is feeling he is successful in providing happiness for his wife and family. And the best resource for that is the wife being happy and acknowledging all he does for the home. If a wife acknowledges her husband more, a man can feel good about himself and will want to do more. And attention and focus will be on you and the family more. But if he feels unsuccessful then his attention will often waver away from you and the home.

A man's attention will go where he feels he is or can be most successful. Full Stop.

So the biggest and best way for a man to feel successful is a happy women where she lets him know that.

So its important for women to make it clear to him all his efforts are appreciated especially after he is meeting your needs. And one of the most important times I think is after he is being there through a woman's storm. If he has supported you and showed compassion etc while a woman has vented all her pains of her day well let him know that afterwards so he can feel good about himself by being there in support and not having to fix all her problems which a man often feels he has too.

When ever there is problem in a relationship where the man is spends most of his time at work or his mates etc I guarantee this is part of the problem. That he feels at some level that he can not or is not feeling successful in making his wife happy.

Another angle on this is if you look at all the sexy advertisements aimed at men these days. Its not so much men are drawn to sex and sexy women (what men are conditioned to believe so any way) its the fact men are drawn to happy women and that can be any woman of any shape. Now that doesn't mean its right for a man to drawl over such images but the marketing experts know this instinctively so they use this without the morals of it. What does a happy woman look like? well she is often smiling.

I am finding it increasingly interesting how many women I have come to know ( not through personal relationships ) are a huge part motivated by guilt.  I think there's a lot to it than meets the eye and not all I could address in a simple post but I think a big part is that women today more than ever before have more pressure to be a certain way, to look a certain way and even to have more roles than ever before. Also when women have pulled away  from there man often women feel the guilt more so then men do and will come back to there man partly because of the guilt. My guess is because women are more connected with there feeling self than men are as a generalisation but there are exceptions.

I think the big message when we have difficulties in our relationships is to be proactive rather then reactive. I think its good to expect there will be from time to time be challenges in a relationship and we need to deal with them as they occur not after months of pain. I think its good to regularly check in with are partner to see if we are meeting are needs at the highest levels.


Questions, comments and disagreements welcomed with what I have said.

Love Sacha

Awwwwww 

I just bought 2 for $7 but they came from California.... don't eat them all I will be there soon!!

thank you Sacha...he is an amazin man...

hmm did someone say mangos...i only want mangos that arent heat treated...freshies...dont know when i'll get to have those little babies...maybe next time im in fiji.....lol or thailand