Because Brett..most people do not love themselves. I guess the most recent reference for that view would be Eckhart Tolle...others would include just about all the affirmation/visualisation proponents..most if not all the positive thinking and self improvement crowd..etc...etc...

People find it easier to look for what they seek in others...a kind of transference if you like...and avoidance of responsibilty for self.

One of the symptoms of a lack of true self love is the inability to truly forgive oneself. Does everyone suffer from this? No...just most...to varying degrees.

Based on that view I beleive it is easier for most to potentially forgive another than potentially forgive themsleves.

This of course is simply my view...feel free to disagree...I might change my mind next week...who knows....lol

John

Unconditional love....

At what point does such a description or concept or ideal not contain a degree of "judgement"...

And what value does the opinion of an individual hold, relative to another individual?

A skilled carpenters' opinion on building a timber deck is most likely more valuable an opinion than the local dentists.

Can a judge truly be a judge of value unless he/she has first walked in the shoes of the judged?

Can you love uncondtionally unless either:

1) You have hated.....or...

2) Been hated....

What reference point would you have, to feel "unconditional love" if you had not experienced hatred?

Who's "unconditional love" is more "real" and valuable"...but maybe that's the wrong question...

Who do you choose to display unconditional love to and who do you choose not to display it to?

Unconditional love...should be unconditional....shouldn't it....?

To the person who has posted in this thread who used to speak to me in private and now no longer does...

Unconditional Love??

Guess I didn't read the small print....

John

John me neither 

I take your wisdom and knowledge and take what is relevant to me at the time.
xx

Sorry Rowdy I misread ya then.

Annette I hear ya. It's a bit of a curly one at times...and sometimes we don't have a choice who we associate with if we want to achieve something specific. Only you can weigh up the advantage: disadvantage ratio in any such circumstance.

I try to limit my exposure to people I want to associate with. People who are too different to you can be hard work and you are always fighting influences, even if it isn't obvious.

I don't think distancing yourself from certain people or types of people at any given point in time goes against "unconditional love" either.

It can be a rational act of self-love.


John

you know Annette..i was also finding in the recent past that..my judgement of others smoking or drinking(and i chose not to)even those eating cooked food...was worse than they ever treated me,they never gave me grief about my choices,i was the one with the issues...

John has a good point...in that being around people who arent like minded to you enough,can be alot of hard work....but so many can be well worth it,once we let go of our own prejudices and judgements...a good question i ask myself,is why does it bother me so much? generally the answer isnt something i like in myself..and its worth confronting and dealing with and moving on..

RBB,you have been here before right,under a nother using name? ?

to have great friends i must be a great friend...to love others and have others love me,i must first love myself...damn thats the hardest one of all...but as i so often say,i am a work in progress...just so long as im progressing and not stagnating......living,moving,learning,growing....

John i really like that........a rational act of self love....i have had a big clean out of those i dont feel a resonation with...and guess what 2 others have walked through my friendship door,and i am really excited.....beautiful people,non judgemental and fun and with great depth....

I removed a number of people from my life a few years ago....nothing was said or done....just a gradual "removal"....

I said at the time...to the sky..."for every friend I have lost I shall gain two"...

Well....not only have I gained two for every one lost the fact is the friends I have gained are of a higher "calibre"...is that a judgement...no (it could easily be but it isn't)...it's an observation.

I still love my "old" friends"....I have just "moved on" from where we all were. They want to do things I do not...(nothing drastic just minor differences). If they phoned me today and asked for my help would I give it?

Sure I would!

Would I go out of my way to spend time with 'em if they needed it...sure I would!!!!

Would I want to....well no....but I would anyway...

Unconditional love.

I reckon....if you have "arrived" at your own personal destination and have a firm foundation in your own beliefs and experience and results then you can "handle" others a lot easier...you will be less affected and challenged by differing views and opinions and all that....

If your in a transitory phase though to developing knew understandings and beliefs, depending how far along the path you are you can be like a new born baby or an adolescent (vulnerable times) and during those periods you may need to watch who ya hang around with...

Also (my opinion big time) some people reckon they have found the Holy Grail of (pick a subject) and have "seen the light" brothers and sisters...you can pick 'em a mile away. They take on a religous zealousy and fervently adopt their new found realisation and promote it.

Ah....I could go right into that...hahhahaa......but then I'd be guilty of it myself...lol

A few people on this forum are experimenting and questioning and growing in many ways.

Just an observation.

Heck I've just made some huge changes in my life...think I'll wait till Rudy gets back from having his new aluminium foil head shield installed and see what he has to say...and talk about it in his journal.

John

Another question I pose is, "how do you keep your heart open all the
time?" or is this not a good idea.

I find around my children my heart is always open, never shut even when they are driving me round the bend, but around certain people or in situations I don't like I can literally feel my heart close (know it sounds funny).....it feels like it is like a protection thing....not wanting to get hurt.  Or in an argument when you don't like what the other person is saying, instead of showing compassion and understanding for the other person and where they are coming from.

Hi Annette,

so do You wanna be fully unprotected 24/7 ?

Just let the Universe know