Those imported Durian pods always cause me brain fog as well,pretty dodgy really.  One I opened a while back was pink inside & looked sort of deflated and sad but I ate it anyway and paid big time the next day :-(
I have 'suffered' from overeating issues my whole life until a recent shift in perception, I started to ask myself....Why am I eating so much?..Maybe I AM hungry?  I worked out that I was miscombining a lot of my meals even if they were fruit (big culprit was dried fruits & nuts) then suffering from malabsorbtion resulting in a lack of quality sugar being transported to my cells & brain leaving me well......hungry and never satisfied, I believe thats why GS is so satisfying (if its well combined), its been broken down to a simple absorbable form. It doesn't matter if you are physically full if you are still craving more food then there's the possibility you are not absorbing what you are eating...we are not what we eat but what we absorb....you may be  simply starving for nutrients or you may not be eating enough.  Maybe its not pyschological but a physiological need? I have been exploring this one myself.
How much fruit do you eat in a day? Are you combining it properly?
Well done on all your exercise :-)

Well, it may be premature to share in my following thoughts, but I feel I want to do so anyways because of how this board played the role in my current happiness.  I have been communicating with Jim for over a year now, and we finally got to meet up in San Francisco, where we spent a glorious 8 days together with most of the time  traveling through Arizona in its insanely beautiful and dramatic scenery. 

We hit it off from the start, and we knew we would due to sensing that energy about ourselves from such a far away distance.  Wow, is Australia so far away!  We are trying not to use our minds that can make us freak out about our fledgling relationship because our connection is so incredible.  Hopefully I can come to Australia in January--I have no idea yet how things will progress.  I just know that this man is so wonderful. 

I finally lost 10 pounds since the start of this journal!  Jim and I ate beautifully together, totally 811rv until we ate the heavy meal each day at Raw Spirit and taste tested some things (Jim didn't eat as much of the heavy stuff on the plate like I did, though).  After trying some raw chocolate, I was detoxing all night with a stuffy nose and sneezing, and Jim had a headache.  He knew some people there from his David Wolfe retreat last winter, and one of the girls had her chocolate sauce there.  Well, since he knew her, and we were out of it from our taste tests (there was a strange energy about that festival that really drained me in its extreme new-agey deal, so I unfortunately had some maca/superfood tastes and some stimulating chocolate pieces to help perk me up and create a type of buffer--I hope to better do this on my own in the future), she convinced us to do a little photo shoot with her professional photographer friend, where Jim would have a bit of chocolate sauce on his mouth, and I had to try to get it off of him.  Well, the photographer liked how I was acting, and it seemed they would use us for their campaign--NO!  How bad would that be for us who love 811rv and who actually hate what cacao does to us, and it's somewhat heat-treated anyway to make it edible!  I refuse to buy cacao when on my own in my daily life, and the one slip of sensibility when being in that environment could potentially make us regret it!  Well, I don't think it will happen because Jim is sure it won't.  Hmm, should I not have told you this story, then?

So, since my departure from him at the airport Sunday night, I have felt displaced here.  He's off to another month of travel, and I am back to work (or trying to!).  I miss him so much, but I knew I would if I got into such a long-distance relationship.  We still have to process it all, but I am open.  It is rare to find someone who meets you on so many levels.  I just don't know how to endure this sadness, but at the same time, I am very happy.  My diet has been more crap since I was so healthy over the last 2-3 weeks.  I ate too much fat over the last 2 days and feel horrible.  I knew it was temporary, but I forgot how badly I would feel.  Back to eating only fruits and greens for the next few days where I will hopefully just deal with this sadness instead of feel so strange. 

I also hiked 10 km. into the Grand Canyon and went right back up another 10 km.  The distance looked deceving in that the layers never looked as big as they were until you climbed, and climbed, and climbed.  It was so incredible to complete that day's journey.  The park ranger said to allot twice as much time coming back, and we only needed an extra half hour--we were jamming!  I was so proud of myself!!  And, in Sedona, we quickly walked up the infamous Cathedral Rock when really, it was like rock climbing in some parts.  I now am fitter, finally, and I know with my internal acceptance toward myself, that helped me drop the weight.  It is a psychological thing underneath it all.  I truly believe I was holding onto the fat as a protection, and now that I was loving myself, I then allowed someone else to love me.  And I want to be loved.  I want to have no barrier to it.  This energy is so powerful, so these next several months alone will involve me allowing it to fill every part of me, so I can be even more loving to myself and to those around me.  No fear.

Thanks for being here, board.

I've never seen you looking so relaxed and happy in a photo. It's beautiful! Congrats to you and Jim on finding each other. You are both very principled and well thought out and I'm sure your conversations would be amazing!Thank you for sharing, best wishes to you both! Hugs...

xoxoxo

or is that lovn in the raw te he...thats lovely Theresa...so nice to see you so relaxed and happy..Jim is an awesome guy.....

Oh wow, you women are the best.  Thank you so much for such warm thoughts!  And it's interesting how my picture was showing how I was feeling.  Everything just felt right.  Jen, thank you for that view about us; our communication isn't perfect, but there is a definite intuition so far.  Since we are both so open within and toward each other, that is all that really matters, no matter what little differences there are, because in our openess, there is growth.  And thank you also Janita for your words--that means a lot.  Annette, wow.  Kebb and Eve, yay. 

I feel really good about what is opening up for me, but then again, I feel such sadness and some fear unfortunately.  I'm going through so many emotions...but, I know it's time for me to really stand up and be me apart from my family and the world and go with what I know inside (and I hope Jim continues to do the same).  I was thinking over the last days since Raw Spirit that this is what it is to be an adult.  I met Kevin Gianni there with his wife, them two just solidly and comfortably standing with each other, and the love from them and all of you and others there were all mature since they and you have already opened up to someone else, therefore expanding your worlds and expanding love.  This is not an independent life.  And I was included in all the pictures--the boys didn't want it to just be them.  This is the maturity I am finally encountering.  I have met so many self-absorbed/selfish people before, sadly.  Love is so wonderful, so real.  My heart is overflowing, but at the same time, its energy is so powerful that I am left feeling a bit unstable.  I don't know how to deal with this right now, but I know this is what I've always wanted, so I am going with it. 

With love and gratitude,
Theresa

Hi all.

I had an eventful last four days.  Everything is working out without me even planning it, which is great since I used to be a type-A personality! 

I drove down to Los Angeles to see my sister and primarily to see Jim for his layover that he extended for 2 days and that surprisingly escaped my memory since we barely talked about it.  It was truly "in the moment" with him in Arizona.  Well, it was better than I thought, and now there are no worries.   He told me that he read my entry here, hehe, and it's fine. 

You're right, Jennie, because there are so many layers upon which we cover our true self just to live in this often harsh world.  I was in Hollywood and stressful L.A., and I majorly flashbacked to my adolescence there, where I was "cool" and hardened because I was always the sensitive type, and I never felt accepted for being just me, hence my compromises to sometimes fit in but really to usually just survive and pretend I was happy.  I never wanted to allow fear to be normal, but fear runs this world.  At least now with looking back, I have a clear view, and what I really want is now unfolding because I now am living as me instead of others projected onto me. 

Interesting also with how the days progressed, and I just got an update phone call from my sister right now.  My newly vegetarian nephew got “discovered” on Saturday night at the mall.  We all did the stereotypical L.A. thing and went to an open casting for kids from a reputable company the next day, and he was chosen as one of the very few to progress and likely get signed.  Well, Jim and I were in Hollywood yesterday, and wow did the energy and symbolism there really dampen our moods.  All we saw were sex, drugs, death, and Reptilian/alien symbols.  Even a Universal Studios advertisement catered to kids showed the scariest monster as the picture.  I worried about my nephew being in that environment, but I was trying to convince myself that his purity and good sense could positively affect it by reaching the right people.  Well, my sister just told me that she got the worst feeling about it after their meeting with the agent this afternoon.  She was feeling emotional because she wanted to give him the best opportunity since he really wanted to act, and she believed in him with being a great person no matter what.  I was trying also to think that, well, there are probably lots of good people in this industry, so just stay open regardless of what really runs Hollywood and also Disney.  However, my sister decided after being handled strongly by the agent that it was not the right thing to do.  She thankfully confirmed with my nephew that he was intuitively feeling the same way.  We were all on the exact same page, and sadly but wonderfully, we are all right that what is ingrained in something with really not wanting to change (i.e. Hollywood), us people who are open to truth and freedom feel "off" toward that.  I just hope she continues discovering more about herself in this way. 

In a related note, Jim and I felt all that negative energy on the Venice Beach strip.   We were grounding each other in our good energy, so it gave us a protective shield it seems, and we felt separate but happy in our own world.  The open beach was nice and also reminded me of when I often went to the beach, and we of course did some bodyweight exercises at Muscle Beach.  Well, Jim really did them--SPARTA!!--and I again attempted a pull-up. 

Jim and I had some interesting raw adventures also.  We first went to Juliano's and OH MY GOSH, that food is the best raw restaurant food I've ever had.  It made me feel sick, though, because of how rich it was, but it was a fun, classy, and rare raw restaurant experience.  Juliano was there, and he talked to us briefly but only to pitch more of his creations.  He had a self-important, "Hollywood" feel about him.  The next day felt like I gained a pound from that food, so we thought, well, another day of this uncommon type of experience and that's it.  We went to Matt Amsden's low-key place practically down the street, and guess who we saw right outside the place?  David Wolfe.  Funny.  Jim didn't want to go up to talk with him, though, and I thought "why not since you gave him money to go to his retreat in Hawaii over the winter?"  Well, that was an experience for him to see what else in the raw community was out there, and he doesn't need to go back there.  So, the signature Matt burger was RICH and salty and felt fried to me!  But yes, it was very tasty.  I was feeling pretty much done with the gourmet thing, and this time, Jim felt sick.  It was still an experience.  Then, guess who walked in?  David Wolfe, Goji Girl, and another woman.  It was strange since when Mr. Wolfe looked at me and we locked eyes (we talked briefly and pleasantly 2 years ago when Harley wanted to meet him in Nor. California), he quickly looked away.  I smiled nicely when I passed him to go to the bathroom, but I felt and experienced absolutely nothing genuine from him.  Anyway, I observed a lot, and I know with whom I connect, although of course I still look to have some connection with everyone.  I found it quite appealing that Doug Graham actually answered a deep question I asked him at Raw Spirit.  I felt a very good vibe from that man.

There is a large raw community in the Los Angeles area.  To get my last raw experience from the co-op in Santa Monica this morning to help me on my long drive home today, I easily met another raw foodist in the large raw food aisle.  It seemed like everyone in the raw world is gourmet raw, and those people I saw aren't as fit and trim or healthy looking as they could be, but at least there is a big awareness toward the benefits of raw foods.  I wish the awareness was more toward optimum nutrition instead of medicinal/anecdotal thinking that I see is keeping people in the matrix loop of non-health; e.g, Goji Girl was still putting tinctures and herbs in her smoothie for pervasive acne after so many years on “the best raw foods ever”.  Yes, we all have health and stress hurdles to overcome, but it saddens me and even upsets me when hype generated from partial truths spreads to and influences the masses instead of pure, simple truth.  I don’t want to think negatively because there are all steps to uncover the layers of our “onion”, and many people do progress to more and more genuine truth, but many people also do not and therefore stay perpetually stuck due to somewhere within them not wanting to break free.

Anyway, these are some of my thoughts.  I feel renewed and more in touch with who I am apart from my past, so I am looking forward to more and more of a wonderful life for me in the now and in the future.

Yee haw! 
Love,
Theresa

Hi Janita,

Thank you for your comments.  Gosh, I wondered if my thoughts could be seen that way, and lo and behold, you said something to that effect.  I really didn't mean anything in the sense of someone being "less than" to me.  I tried to convey that everyone is on their own path, but I was also just stating my thoughts that on a whole, sometimes people do get complacent and therefore stuck, and there really is so much more growth to be attained (myself included). 

I like to be able to speak up with my observations, even with whatever "off" feeling or day someone has, because that promotes a new awareness for that person to then think, "hmm, maybe I wasn't radiating my good self like I wish I was."  I am always open to constructive criticism also.  I sure wish I didn't write in a way that may have been judgmental--I was simply stating the energy that I felt, and from the energy of a message that is off to me, such as high fat versus low fat, or a certain message of "truth" in religion versus actual reality, etc., it is good to state dissimilarities so that more contemplation on both sides can be engaged. 

Take care.