well, I was going to start a(nother) journal but decided against it because I'm terrible with posting regularly enough (hence the demise of my other journal) and also from lack of time due to running 'round after 2 very active little boys all day....

So anyway..I'm about 3 months shy of being a raw foodist  for 2 years..despite the sheer exuberance that this has brought me physically i have had quite a few deep dark emotional times thrown in as well. Long story short..I have a 22 year history of manic depression/anxiety attacks, agoraphobia, including suicidal tendencies...while on the most part my mental state has improved HUGELY wth being raw some of these still raise their ugly heads when i feel like circumstances have slipped out of my control. One of my ongoing challenges has been the relationship I have with my eldest son. I suffered post-natal depression after I had him and although I went through the physical motions of being a loving attached parent, I emotionally gave him up to certain other people in our life..and as a result our relationship has suffered badly and a lot of the time I struggle to cope with his behaviour toward me. I have also felt quite isolated and lonely and everytime I go up north to visit my mum it gets harder and harder for me to come back to this seemingly inane lifestyle of being a corporate widow, and shopping at (EVIL EVIL) Westfield on Thursday nights while DH looks after the kids. In short, I've been a bit of a basket case.......

but then something changed....about 2 weeks ago now I went up to the GC to see my mum (it was a real flying visit and I'm really sorry I didn't cach up with anyone while i was there but i was seriously only there for 2 days)...just me and the boys doing our usual roadtrip and dh flew up at the end of the week to join us. Things were going well with my eldest son for once...I think because he was out of his comfort zone ...we went to the Butterfly House at Coffs on the way up and that was just amazingly beautiful...anyway...when dh arrived he had a package for me..it was Shazzie's 'Detox your world'. I happen to like Shazzie's stuff and engulfed the book straight away..it's just full of simple common sense stuff that I've known about for ages but obviously hadn't seriously thought about really putting into practice...
So I made the decision that when we got home I would start detoxing my world and not just my body...but there was another surprise waiting. DH decided to go on a juice feast for a week and then raw and the kids were going all raw as well. (little ds was already pretty raw). So we have ALL been raw for about a week now and I've been making lots of gourmet stuff for dinner every night although now that their taste buds are waking up again I think they can start to ease into simpler stuff. My eldest son has invented some of his own recipes (basically adaptions from Shazzie's recipes on her DVD's) which have been great and we have been juicing every morning. There is still a lot of healing to be done but I am excited that I'm seeing small positive changes this early in the piece. I know that DH will probably sit around being 75% raw and still eat the ocassional steak and ds# will still have the ocassional goat's milk yoghurt (although our next project is reviving our kefir culture) but I'm actually fine with that.
At the moment I'm just feeling really good and that for once my family and I are all on the same wavelength I can only see positive coming from this for all of us.

anyway, thanks for listening/reading...

Hi Erthmum   
I have not met you but after reading your post i understand a little of what you are experiencing.  I found that some other ways to renew and restore the strained ties with my family, as they were growing up  I put little 'love notes' or cards with words of encouragement  into their lunch boxes, or under/on their pillow, in their shoes or other places they would find it and be surprised by it - i did this even when my son was a highschool till he was in year 12, I also did this for the girls through their school years till they were in year 12.   I also made, as Raw Sensation has done, special times just for him and for the other two girls in the family, once per week we would go out for dinner or to a park for a picnic or to a show or something that they would enjoy and shared it with them on an individual basis.  Some times we did not talk much we just enjoyed each others company.  This paid great dividends.  Now they are 30 plus.  My son still kisses his Dad on the head (bald) and i always get a great big hug from him, he is also close to his sisters.  He also comes to me with his problems and asks me for advice about his little daughter as she grows up and otherthings that are "too big for him".  Life is wonderful really, it always gives you the opportunity to build again ..... we think we have blown it but  even when they are older there is always time to build friendships with them... it is never too late to Just love them for who they are .......   Our relationships are not perfect but they know i love them and thats what counts   

Thankyou all for your encouragement and support. LOL. I never have considered myself a calm person..I've always aspired to it but seem to always be in a state of internal chaos..something I am doing must be working though. Jen, I have to admit that the day i met you I was quite nervous as it was the first time I'd ventured out of my shell far enough to meet online people in real life. It was a wonderful experience though and you are a beautiful soul to be around. Your enthusiasm just shines through

Although I don't often post, I do check in briefly quite often when i get snippets of time here and there. I have to say that this forum is perhaps the only forum I've ever been on that is so genuinely loving and positive (despite people's personal passions   )

I'm very excited today. we actually went and bought all the materials we need to build a fence aorund our property This might not sound much but this has been a looooooooooooong time coming and is a significant turn of events in my life..finally, finally my kids can run free in our yard without having to worry about running onto the road or the next door neighbours dogs..

thanks again


much love to you all. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Congratulations Erthyone! I'm sooooo happy for you. Big hugs to you and your family and I'm glad you posted your blog. How exciting!

xoxoxox

oops sorry melb...typo.  It should be:

www.livingtemple.blogspot.com

Hi Erthmum.  Congratulations on buba number 3.  Wishing you a wonderful pregnancy and birth, particularly given you are going for a free birth.  I would love to have had more choices when I birthed my twins (i.e a homebirth) and look forward to reading how everything goes.  xx

CONGRATULATIONS  praying and wishing you the very best on this wonderful journey