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Learning to let go....
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Jenergy
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« on: Saturday 05 July, 2008 »

I'm pretty sensitive. I've always been one to take things on board, blame myself easily etc etc which has lead to low self esteem. I'm getting better as I get older but time and time again I find that I am agressively hanging onto bad experiences and using them as excuses to go... well nowhere!

This letting go issue is really bugging me this year. I've been affirming that I get better with letting go all the time but it's just not shifting yet. Patience I know!

Have you had difficulty letting go in the past? I spoke to a guy a few years ago about it and asked how he lets go so easily... he replied *shrug*"ya just let go!" Very bloody helpful!

But I couldn't explain in depth how to walk to someone who couldn't either! Stand up and put one leg in front of another just wouldn't cut it!

So, if you have had difficulty, if it's something you have had to work at. I'd love to hear it. Books, vids, whatever. Maybe I need to go around the problem. For example, grow in confidence and the letting go will be easier because I won't be so afraid... I dunno. Exercises of the mind.

xoxoxo

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Oxygen2
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« Reply #1 on: Sunday 06 July, 2008 »

Jen....how exactly have you been affirming getting better about letting go....I mean what's the wording you're using?

If you don't word it right you can end up actually attracting the thing you're trying to remove.

If you're focusing on letting go you'll empower NOT letting go.

And fear of something only draws it closer to you.

Am I makin sense here?

John
« Last Edit: Sunday 06 July, 2008 by Oxygen2 » Report to moderator   Logged

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Jenergy
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« Reply #2 on: Sunday 06 July, 2008 »

I've been keeping it very basic John,

Every day I get better and better of letting go

xoxoxo
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« Reply #3 on: Tuesday 08 July, 2008 »

Jen, what happens when you hold onto things?  Why do you feel the need to let them go?
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« Reply #4 on: Tuesday 08 July, 2008 »

Hey Jen,
Brief response cos my computer has died and I am on limited time at the library!

I could really relate to your post about not letting go of stuff and taking things on board.  What I find really helpful is to practice mindfulness and focus on the present moment.  For example, when I am doing the dishes my mind might be going over the days events, my fears/worries, what someone said to me or didn't say, what I said or didn't say, etc.  So I bring my attention to being mindful of the task of doing the dishes and the rest of the stuff leaves my head.  Whenever my mind wanders, I just kindly acknowledge that it has wandered (not berate myself for doing it) and bring my attention back to the present moment.  Or I focus on my breath - meditation stuff, ya know?

When I am with others I can get very self-conscious and something I find really helpful in overcoming this is to remind myself of my connection to everything and everyone in the universe (instead of focussing on the separateness).

Hugs,
Jack
xx
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Jenergy
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« Reply #5 on: Tuesday 08 July, 2008 »

Hullo Sanga! I hold onto them to keep myself safe. but they do not apply now. lt really doesn't matter that this or that happened in primary school, or that when i was 14 I was tripped in the corridor at school by someone else, or that my aunt caused a family blow out that makes my blood boil to this day, or that my grandmother who is now dead was such a cow etc.

I guess I want to let them go because once I get started I get fixated on the emotion of that time. When I think about my aunt for example I still want to punch her really hard, my ex... intense fear of not being safe, of Grandma, having to bottle what I say even though she is being so deliberately awful to and about everything and everyone. You know?

Just to let these go, or to let the emotion of the events go would be wonderfully uplifting!

Heya Jackie, Great tips. I will take them on board. I can focus. It will take practice but I can do it! How are you going with it? It sounds like you are doing really well.

xoxoxo
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« Reply #6 on: Thursday 10 July, 2008 »

Jen,
I have been working on the same thing.. apparently EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a great tool for this, and quick and easy to learn and use, too. I'm sure some rp member can come up with good explanations or links, as I'm so new to it... Basically you tap certain points of your body while stating certain affirmations or words in specific ways. Smiley

Personally I feel a need to change my thought patterns, or even life perspective. If I could trust that I will be able to manifest whatever I want (and be able to return the money I would have to borrow)... I would get one of the many hundreds-of-dollars-priced programmes out there, probably The Sedona Method or even Gerard O'Donnell's products. On this subject (spirituality if you like..), too, I know there are several people on these boards who have come far.

Another of those "programmes" out there is 'Busting Loose from The Money Game' (Robert Scheinfeld). Anyone have experience with this? I just found the book - same title and author, and got the electronic version. Of course it's not really about money... Wink
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« Reply #7 on: Thursday 10 July, 2008 »

Jennie I have been explaining this in past about TLT etc, You were hiding in the organic farm that day ?


The principle is, that from every negative (as well as positive) experience we need to learn.

The fact of the need to learn is actually the reason, that those experieneces "happened" to us - that we really ordered them to be presented with learning lecture.

If at the time we do not learn anything, or we learn only partialy or we think we learn burt really only create the false explanation - usually the blame of others etc, than the learning is not done.


So the lecture is not finished and is waiting for us to deal with, when we ready, this is achieved by attaching some uncomfortable emotions to this topic.


whenever subconsious think, that we have notrhing better to do, we are presented randomly with unresolved issues - with unlearned lesson etc.

If we supresse it it will come later.

If the learning is not done, You cant let it go, it will keep bugging You.

If some forced technique is used to dismiss the issue far away, that the life will present us with the situation again perhaps with very strong emotional turmoil, in much more difficult situation etc till there is no escape and we have to learn teh lesson.

If the lesson is not learned, next life is repeating the same grade, but with stricter teacher.


TLT is usin very efficient technique to get quickly to the real issue and to get the full learning and only than letting go of the emotional conection to than situation.


If not having the TLT available, perhaps meditation with teh question - what I am suposed to learn from this,
why I have choosen this particular lesson - life situation experience ?


Often when teh learning happens (AHA moment), the emotions dissapears on its own, since is no longer needed, and also since we realize, that we actualy needed the lesson so nobody did to us anything wrong, they just did they part of the teaching contract.

Read : Zero Limit by Joe Vitale
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« Reply #8 on: Thursday 10 July, 2008 »

If the lesson is not learned, next life is repeating the same grade, but with stricter teacher.
Is that assuming time is a linear thing? Past life, this life, future life.  Maybe that grade was already repeated to a more understanding outcome before, but the ground work is now, for what has come before? Can past be next?
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« Reply #9 on: Thursday 10 July, 2008 »

Doesn't have to be next life...it can be next week....lol.

Time is "compressing" anyway....in the sense of urgency and in technology explosions and all sorts of things./

John
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« Reply #10 on: Thursday 10 July, 2008 »

This could get interesting...why is time compressing?

Our current point in the evolution of mankind is refered to (if ur biblicaly inclined) by a Greek word, that eludes me at the moment, that means "birthpangs" or if you like..."contractions"...

Imagine if your pregnant for 9 months and the birth process arrives heralded by increasingly short contractions...in that sense time compresses because that's precisely where humanity is presently (In a birthing process).

It's an individual and global thing.

There's just so much too this...wrong thread mebe...

John
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« Reply #11 on: Friday 11 July, 2008 »

John, we know what to do :

breath, breath, breath !

(I am skipping teh cigar bit).


Melb, the linera or not time is not really teh issue here.

If the person has emotional issue with the lessson, which implyes teh learning was not done,


than this will have to hapen either now or other time, the easiest concept is the next time.


Yes John next week, however lots of people would do anything not to deal with it this life at all cost, so the next week lesson will not be solved anyway, so it si going to be next life.


If You track down some cases You will find out, that the leson in this life is not from the very last previous life but perhasp from 2 lives before or 5 or going thousands of years and many lives, since the soul decided to do other subject first, before attacking the maths again.


so the stuff unsolved this life might come not next life in linear order but in next life as few lifes later.


However this is now complicated since the Earth energy will change in a way so no more negative expoeriences.


Basicaly You deal with it now, or You will do some extra stuff in heaven to catch up, because next time on this Earth there is no going to be any lessons like that it will get much harder.

For theiose souls not completing teh kindergarten development this life and perhaps in heaven after it and stubornly requiring the next reincarnation with difficult condition and negative energies, they will be send to other planet in universe, where the negative stuff is still going on.


If You force the nonlinearity concept and You go to the past so to speak, You can change the learning and emotion in some past situations completely so Yopu can go to past and learn there and not have to wait for the future.


However if You have already done this, than in the present You will no longer have the emotional probs with the situation at all or the situation would not have happened, You childhood memory would have changed, because lots of negs would not have happened.


So take Jennie as an example if she goes to past - many lives ago and changes the outcome there of relevant situation, - getting all the learning and disconecting teh negative emotion from it, she will realize next day, her mother was not a cow but a lioness (or some other animal), but perhaps not an angel, she would realize she might have some complete different negative emotion going on, since different mother would serve different lesson
not necceesasarily the happy holiday after graduation ceremony.
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« Reply #12 on: Friday 11 July, 2008 »

For a second there Rudy I thought you were giving me a meditation lesson...lol.

Much in your last post Rudy...I agree with it all....just from a different angle.

John
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Jenergy
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« Reply #13 on: Friday 11 July, 2008 »

Hey there Rudy, I've thought of TLT but honestly, I don't think I can relax enough for it. I kind of panic before I get to that stage... I'm pretty sure from what you described that I had TLT in my early 20's. I can't remember a lot of it though. I was in shock at the time. Yes, for months!

Lessons from the past. I'm a full believer in it. However I don't think that's the case every time. I want to let go. Most of these issues have not come up for years! I taught myself to hang onto things and I have become an expert at it.

Perhaps the lesson is simply to let go?

Perhaps if I do something that John mentioned not long ago and just learn to let love in I will let go! Or let trust in.

Here's an email that I got yesterday from a friend... it has some stuff about holding on in it. It's beautiful and inspiring.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 8oz. To 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it."   

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.  If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.   
 

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down.  Don't carry it home.  You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.  Relax; pick them up later after you've rested.
 
Life is short.  Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1 * Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully.  It's not only cars that can  be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can't push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can't dance well.  Just get up and dance.


11 * Si nce it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.


12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you.  The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons.  Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.  Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour..


I feel like I've been holding the glass of water forever. My arm is going to drop off! LOL. Perhaps this means that I am coming closer to something big. That will force me to let go. Now I've had that thought, I'm terrified! Petrified as well that I'll create it. Must do some strong affirming for peace... gosh.

xoxoxox
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jackson
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« Reply #14 on: Friday 11 July, 2008 »

The principle is, that from every negative (as well as positive) experience we need to learn.

If at the time we do not learn anything, or we learn only partialy or we think we learn burt really only create the false explanation - usually the blame of others etc, than the learning is not done.

So the lecture is not finished and is waiting for us to deal with, when we ready, this is achieved by attaching some uncomfortable emotions to this topic.

If we supresse it it will come later.

If the learning is not done, You cant let it go, it will keep bugging You.

If some forced technique is used to dismiss the issue far away, that the life will present us with the situation again perhaps with very strong emotional turmoil, in much more difficult situation etc till there is no escape and we have to learn teh lesson.

Thanks Rudy for that information - this is where I get confused...when I am experiencing a situation that keeps running like a broken record through my head and I try to bring my attention to the present moment instead of focusing on the situation, then what you are saying is that I am suppressing it? 

I can hear what you are saying about DEALING with the emotions and feelings surrounding the issue but do you suggest there are times when it is ok to not focus on it and to bring the focus to the present?

Hugs,
Jacki
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