Hey everyone!
Yes yes, I started raw today and my own journal on my computer...it was supposed to stay in there, locked away in 'my documents', but after reading the posts on here for the past couple of hours I've realised how supportive and what a beautiful group of people are on this forum...you may just help me to keep heading in the right direction!! (hope it's not too boring) 

Here we go--
DAY ONE Saturday 12th July-
I probably chose the worst time and place to be starting 100% raw. Poland- surrounded my family and Babcia (Grandma) who wants to constanly feed me full of potatoes, pork shnitzels, dumplings and cake.  They bear the idea that if you don't eat meat or bread you'll starve yourself to death. My Grandmother's doctor even  told me that raw food is very very unhealthy (?! )- but I didn't dare tell them about the endevour I'm setting myself into as I'm scared for her health- her nervous system is weak (refer back to starving yourself comment).
 
This isn't the first time that I've tried to go raw.  First year uni (2002) I tried for a few days or a week or two...then something happened. .I don't think that I was ready and the cravings for crap food took over my life to put it simply. I blame the pill. Maybe should stop blaming other things and take a bit of responsibility upon myself huh? I even remember how I came across the raw food world back then.  Nutrition always interested me- my room was filled with books concerning different diets and ways of eating...it probably stemmed from me never being happy with my body and from having a mother who has a fear of having an overweight daughter.  I was never overweight- maybe slightly at one stage- I've got a few things to grab on to here and there and everyone tells me that I look just fine and don't need to lose any weight...Yeah yeah, thanks for the compliments but self-esteem is always the strongest voice in that situation. So I wanted to lose weight. Go on a diet. I picked up weight loss magazine with an article on Demi Moore and how she's a raw fooder. Strike one and straight away logged onto the internet to get more information.  Shazzie's journals, personal stories, transformation photos and many articles made a light (bing!) go off in my head. Eating raw food made perfect sense in every way!  I think in the world we live in, there are some constraints (ie, eating out with friends, going to dinner parties, working like a dog so not having too much time to prepare good meals etc), so creativeness (and determination) is the key. I can do it. And I will. Going back to uni to study naturopathy will drive me on and hence the fact that I'll be surrounded by like-minded people- who too I'm sure are open minded...unlike my friends who like to give me s**t about my thoughts on nutrition. It really gets to me sometimes. They say I'm a freak, obsessive and can't do anything in moderation. I told them once I was going to do a master-cleanse with maple syrup, lemon and cayenne pepper and still to this day (four years later) they're still telling our friends and new people we meet that I wanted to drink maple syrup from the bottle and pretend I'm Jesus for 40 days.  Thanks guys. But you know what- I don't give a rats anymore- I know what I'm doing it right for my body.

menu for today--->
Morning- Glass of warm water with lemon squeezed into it.
            - 2 nectarines, 3 yellow plums and an apple.
That's it, wasn't that hungry. I'm going to just listen to my body.  When it wants nutrition then it'll get it. Also after the plums I had a bit of pain just under my left rib. I get this sometimes and I've tried to observe and see when the pain comes, but it seems to be all over the place. Usually after a dairy, a heavy meal and coffee...
Afternoon- Some green tea while I was in the book store cafe. Was getting pretty hungry and they no fresh fruit or juices at that place (note to self: got to find a juice bar somewhere).
Dinner- Salad with radishes, tomato, cucumber, sprouts (well the ones that didn't go moudly), lettuce. Didn't finish all of it either because was getting full up. Maybe later on tonight I'll feel a bit peckish again. 2hours later- I finished the rest of my salad and am now chowing the rest of the plums i've got here...am starving!

So are you aksing why now? Why have I chosen to finally take the plunge after 4 years of finding out after this amazing lifestlye?
I'm scared. After seeing my father pass away last year of lung cancer I'm terrified.  I don't want to get to age 60 and then regret that I knew how to take care of my body and I never did.  Then having to say goodbye to my kids and loved ones because I abused my body and die a sensless death.
I want to feel enegertic. To wake up in the morning and jump out of bed and in addition not having any bags or black marks around my eyes.
To get my memory back.  Bad bad memory problems sometimes- how am I going to be a successful student when I forget everything I read about two minutes ago?
Knowing that I'm doing what is right for my body. 
To be closer to the Earth and Mother Nature.
Yes, call me vain, but to be happier with my body and appearance. Don't want people telling me that I look tired everyday- even when I'm not those comments come. 
Overall, to be HEALTHY!! In every way.

I'm coming back home in two weeks, which I'm excited about...Have so many plans to start a herb garden and little vegie patch when I get home. Has anyone tried a raw-food meal on a plane? Apparently that's an option. Even though I realise the quality of the food will probably be rubbish...I will ask anywho b/c taking food for those 24hours will be half of my hand luggage and I've got waaay too much luggage as it is.

That's it for today...If you're still here, thanks for reading this mammoth post...going to find more fruit!