hey Christian...

great you had a better day(in a way...) so glad to read this bebe....

I can feel your renewed strength coming thru the screen...its awesome...what doesnt kill us makes us stronger...XX

looking after yourself in the way you are now,is the best birthday present you could ever have...we willl ensure we give you lots and lots of love here.....


that dip sounds awesome,,i think i will try this one...mmmmmmmmmm

have a great night hon XX

Thanks BerryBliss!
Your daughter BlueBelle is one lucky girl!

Also once again to Neet, what an inspiration you are. I was overcome with the urge to binge again this morning. I read your post and I felt better. A sense of lovecame through and I did not feel the need to do it as much.

I had a good cry last night. It was strange - I had this migraine headache all afternoon but as soon as I started crying and letting it all 'out' the headache went away. I must have been holding so much in all day and not expressing my anger and sadness.

I am off to the markets today to buy some food. First time I will be going so lets see what bargains I can bag!
I thought I would do what Tora Chan did and make a list of all the stuff I generally eat most and buy in bulk. Buying little bits here and there every day gets so expensive so I think I will trial the bulk buying for a week or so.

GGRR..they are replacing the sewer pipes here so I can't use the toilet. Don't they know that when you eat a lot of fruit you need to pee like mad! REGULARLY

Hehe..yeah I pee a lot! I am terrible on road trips. Freelea, you could be right. I may have needed water. I do use nutridiary to check that I am getting enough energy. Initially when I went raw I did the whole gourmet thing and basically went insane from the time consumption and lack of calories. The excess fat intake also inflammed my bowels and intensified my chronic fatigued, it was an effort to even smile. The list of problems I had goes on and on. I remember sitting at the computer one day bawling my eyes out, not knowing what to do. I was so under weight and terrified - I thought I would surely slip away in my sleep. I even rang my mum to say goodbye and that I loved her.
I came across one of harleys rants on 80\10\10 and I thought 'what the hell, I'll give it a go'. I started right away. I bought dr dougs book and have never looked back since. I still have my bad days every now and then but compared to what they were I am a whole new person. Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't come across that thread where I would be. Could it possibly be that I owe my life to harley? Hehe

Oh and yes I forgot to mention I have gained almost   7 kgs on 80\10\10 and am currently maintaining that weight. Yay!

Thats fantastic girl! 7kgs well done, you directed your focus and reaped the rewards! I told Harley what you said and he is very flattered :-) Have you checked out my lowfat, salt/condiment free raw vegan recipe book? its off my website has lots of cool dishes with photos and peoples (including the lovely Neets) raw journey.

I had a really odd dream last night. I was standing in front of my mirror when all of a sudden my hair started falling  from my head until I was completely bald. I reacted by thinking 'good, now I can grow new hair'.
I wonder what this one means. I also for the last few months have been seeing a milky radiance of varying intensity and size around people. Aura's or energies maybe?
I had a busy day today. I got up early and went for a jog. Came home for breakfast and then went over to my grandmothers to walk her two  puppies or rather they walked me! Then I went into the city to watch a play. Spotted a few celebrities. Haha I'm such a dork

Todays food:

Smoothie:
4 mangos
1 punnet of strawberries

1 honeydew melon
Quarter of a watermelon

Salad:
2 large cucumbers
1 stalk celery
400 g fresh dates

I am very grateful for the sunshine and blue skys. Thankyou to the universe for this day and for allowing me to feel every second of it - the joy and the pain.

Thankyou Neet

This morning I have really felt this horrible desire to binge eat. I think the loneliness factor is a big one for me right now. I am not starting my new job until next week so I have way too much time on my hands. I used to like being on my own, but now I really hate it. Instead I have just forced myself to have breakfast even though that is the last thing my eating disorder wanted me to do. Surprisingly this smoothie hit the spot.

3 ultra ripe bananas
Water from one young coconut
1 large stalk celery

It was sooo sweet and a little salty too. Yum!

I am in the process of going organic - well as much as possible anyway. I have heard that organic food tastes better. Most conventional farmers focus on high yields rather than quality and taste.
I tried Freelea's 'Orange essence' salad last night and I highly recommend this one. Soooo good!
I am not a huge fan of young coconut meat at the best of times but in this one I was quite happy to munch away on it. This salad still fits with 8/1/1 and satisfies all cravings nicely.

It is a bit of a lousy day outside - I need to get outside. I will go crazy in here otherwise. I think I will head off and try and grab a few organic fruit and veg to try plus get some walking exercise in.

I was thinking yesterday that the food that I crave all the time - it is the one which has the most emotion attached.
Memories of my family in the morning, my dad cooking, my childhood, mum taking me and my sister on outings ...
These are all things which I am grieving the loss of.
I think I need a massage. HHHmmmm MASSAGE! (Drools) Sounds a whole lots better than a bunch of cooked food! 

And the universe says...."your wish is my command"! Another great example of what you put your focus on is what you get!
Christian start dreaming & visualising the new place like crazy! Add intensity with emotions, go for a walk or jog and yell out loud for what you want, the more emotion attached to our desires the quicker they will manifest.

Seeing you in the home of your dreams as I type this :-)

Lovefreexo

Hey Miss Chrissy didnt realise you replied to my pm just sent you another one